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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 18-10-2008 11:17 AM

*gives you both major major hugs*

I've not even been to sleep yet grrr >.<

Dramatic 18-10-2008 11:28 AM

Hells, wtf? Get to bed!!!!

Kahlia - I always accept hugs..heh, thankyou *big hugs back*
I just wish i had someone to hug me in real life.
It's times like this where i really pine for James (my ex, we broke up not long ago and he now refuses to talk to his "psycho ex girlfriend").

You sound like a worrier Kahlia - like me.
I'm sure Nicole will understand your predicament. Please try not to worry - she will never hate you.
She's probably upset with the situation - not with you.
*More hugs*

I'll bring the chocolate and tissues..you bring the wine, heh.
xx

Kahlia1981 18-10-2008 11:41 AM

Helen, is it a problem with sleeping or just not having gotten to bed ?? If it's a problem with sleeping, I am right there beside you on that one and I hope that you get some sleep. If it's because you haven't gone to bed .... um, well I think that all I can do is echo Laura's sentiment and advise you to get to bed. LOL. *hugs you back*

Laura, you're on. I'll bring some vodka and orange juice for me ... I'm not really in to drinking alcohol and that way I can keep going on the orange juice when I don't feel like the vodka LOL ... as well as the wine for you. I know what you mean about wanting someone to hug you in real life ... I have my friends and I know that they will hug me if I ask for it ... or if I look like I really need one ... but I feel like that's asking too much of them.

Yep, you guessed it straight out ... I'm a worrier LOL. Logically I know that Nicole will understand. I just know that she hasn't been very well mentally lately and I'm stressing that this will tip the balance in a negative direction. *hugs you back*

I really want to cry. *sighs*

Dramatic 18-10-2008 12:23 PM

Kahlia pass your tears over - i would do anything to have a good cry right now. It seems my tear ducts have been glued shut! *Massive Snuggles*

Funny that you don't drink, i was only saying last night to Hells on MSN that i no longer drink. I find whatever i drink, it makes me 100x's more depressed, which means..alcohol is just a big no no for me now i'm "ill".
I sort of miss going out with people in my teens and getting drunk as a skunk and generally going a bit bonkers.
Ah. How times change.

So the orange juice will do nicely for both of us!
I'll bring extra chocolate, heh.

And - you're right, Nicole WILL be fine with you, but i know what worrying about friends is like. The situation was out of your hands hun, remember that.
*more hugs*
Keep your chin up xx

shadowedseraph 18-10-2008 06:47 PM

*hugs everyone* i dont really have the words for any of you, i seem to be a bit c**p today i'm so sorry

Dramatic 18-10-2008 07:18 PM

shadowedseraph what's up hun?

I've had an horrendous headache since this time yesterday, and it's getting progressively worse.
I thought sleep would help, but no, it's just made everything worse.
I'm wondering if it's hormonal and down to my period.
As it is, i get really heavy periods - which is also worsening each month. I'm too much of a wimp to bring it up with a doctor. *Sigh*

I just need a magic tablet to get rid of my migraine, then i'll beable to concentrate better.

*Curls into a ball clutching head*

MammaMia 18-10-2008 07:25 PM

I fell asleep not long after that post haha.

I have problems with sleeping but last night I just..felt really awake and probs made it worse by saving photos and stuff onto this new laptop (still havent finished haha) xxx

Hugs all around

shadowedseraph 18-10-2008 10:26 PM

*hugs Helen and Laura* I'm just feeling a little bit bleugh at the moment but never mind

MammaMia 18-10-2008 11:06 PM

*hugs Becca lots*

Dramatic 18-10-2008 11:10 PM

Keep your chin up shadowedseraph (what is your name btw? lol!) and you know if you need to talk we're all here for you. *Big Hugs*

I'm just letting you know i may not be as regular to RYL, it's all getting a bit much for me on here. I've PM'd typsee to see if there's anyway i can leave feedback anonymously..but i'm not sure if there is. *shrug*

I'll still be here, but this is probably the only thread i'll come to.
*hugs to all*
x

MammaMia 18-10-2008 11:47 PM

*hugs Laura*

You have my msn if you ever want to talk xx

Kahlia1981 19-10-2008 12:22 AM

*hugs Laura, Helen and Becca*

MammaMia 19-10-2008 12:27 AM

I started crying.
Like 4 tears each eye.
Then it stopped.
Thanks.
NOT.

Dramatic 19-10-2008 12:39 AM

-hugs Hells-
If i had any i'd share them with you, heh.
I've gone off MSN, i was of the assumption you were busy, so i thought it best just to leave you alone.

--

Well i've figured some things out tonight.
The good news: I'll be gone by christmas.
The bad news: There isn't any, haha.
Whoop.

Thanks for the hugs ladies.
*Hugs back*
Seriously though, no need to waste your hugs on me - i'm sure theres more deserving people out there who really need them, but thankyou never the less.

shadowedseraph 19-10-2008 12:42 AM

*snuggles laura tight* my names Becca, and your not going anywhere because i say so *nodnods*

*hugs Helen* i know how you feel i long for a good cry and it never happens

*hugs Kahlia*

Dramatic 19-10-2008 12:47 AM

*Hugs Becca*
Honestly, i didn't say that to be talked out of it, or for attention, or anything of the sort.
I just want to prepare the people i am currently closest to on here. I think if i lost anyone i knew on here i'd be gutted..but if i was prepared, maybe i'd have gotten some comfort, if that makes any sense. Mhm.
Anyway.
It's fine.
And i'm fine. I'm very happy with my decision.
Infact, i feel ecstatic, in some very strange way.
It definatly feels right. :)

shadowedseraph 19-10-2008 12:49 AM

*hugs Laura* im not going to preach to you but personally i'd be really upset if anything happened to you

Dramatic 19-10-2008 12:54 AM

It's ok Becca.
*Big hugs*
Things will all work out for the best in the end.

Don't you just hate sheep?
Little followers that go "baaa" because someone "bigger" than them has the confidence to put there foot down, and they think they've got one above you by joining in?
YAWN.
Boring.

Anyway.
I seem to whinge alot lately.
Whinge Whinge, hah.

MammaMia 19-10-2008 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dramatic (Post 1161256)
-hugs Hells-
If i had any i'd share them with you, heh.
I've gone off MSN, i was of the assumption you were busy, so i thought it best just to leave you alone.

--

Well i've figured some things out tonight.
The good news: I'll be gone by christmas.
The bad news: There isn't any, haha.
Whoop.

Thanks for the hugs ladies.
*Hugs back*
Seriously though, no need to waste your hugs on me - i'm sure theres more deserving people out there who really need them, but thankyou never the less.

*hugs Laura* I wasn't busy lol, msn wouldn't send my messages to you :pinch: I don't want you to be gone at all, but I totally understand...meh. I wish I could change your mind...

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowedseraph (Post 1161263)
*hugs Helen* i know how you feel i long for a good cry and it never happens

*hugs Becca lots* It's so frusrating isn't it? My time will come and usually happens in a really embrassing way....can't be any more embrassing than two occasions I can think of....can it?

shadowedseraph 19-10-2008 12:59 AM

*hugs Laura* im not big on sheep no *opens the chocolate milk and offers it around*

Kahlia1981 19-10-2008 12:59 AM

Laura I'd miss you as well ... and as far as I'm concerned you are worth the hugs. *hugs you*

Helen, I think I'm crying for you. I'd like to stop so here you go *passes tears over and hugs you*

Becca, *hugs you*

*hugs everyone then hides back under the bed*

MammaMia 19-10-2008 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kahlia1981 (Post 1161292)
Helen, I think I'm crying for you. I'd like to stop so here you go *passes tears over and hugs you*

I think you are darling, I'm still waiting for your first batch of tears haha. Maybe they got stopped by customs for being too wet, gettit? :laugh:

Is it me, or is it just me, Becca, you & Laura posting in here most of the time at the moment?

Dramatic 19-10-2008 01:03 AM

Becca - Sheep = Baaaa. They just aren't cool.
In my opinion, if you haven't the balls to say something without back-up, don't say anything at all!
[NOT at you, just generalising! Haha]
*Takes chocolate milk*
I'm REALLY craving chocolate right now.
Not cool.
I might just buy a massive box of chocolates for myself on thursday..might as well make the most of it, i'll be gone soon! Haha.

Helen - I know you understand, it means alot. If you want to be informed by my family when the time comes let me know.
(That goes for any of you actually).

Kahlia - *Wipes your pretty eyes* Keep smiling sweetie.
And, i'd miss you too, but just because i'm not here physically doesn't mean i won't be here in spirit, you know? I'll always be around.

*Hugs to everyone*

xx

Dramatic 19-10-2008 01:05 AM

Hells - it's just us 4. I kinda like it like that!

But, i think it's me, if you want me to be honest.
It's the same when i go in chat, everyone leaves.
It's the same when i post on a board, i wait 2 days with 0 replies so i end up deleting it.
So it IS me, so if you want others here let me know and i'll stop posting as i don't want to stop people from coming here.

I've just been bad mouthed so much on here that i seem to have developed a negative reputation.
So yes, if any of you want me to go i will :) I'm happy with that.
*hugs to all*

shadowedseraph 19-10-2008 01:06 AM

*Hugs Kahlia, Laura and Helen* chocolate is good!

Helen i've noticed it seems to just be us, ah well the ward is quiet, i hope that means people are having good times

MammaMia 19-10-2008 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dramatic (Post 1161300)
Helen - I know you understand, it means alot. If you want to be informed by my family when the time comes let me know.

I rather you didn't have to do this at all but okay I guess :crying: I will miss you Laura. Seriously. I wish there was some other way to help you...I feel bad for being so accepting of this =S

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dramatic (Post 1161305)
Hells - it's just us 4. I kinda like it like that!

But, i think it's me, if you want me to be honest.
It's the same when i go in chat, everyone leaves.
It's the same when i post on a board, i wait 2 days with 0 replies so i end up deleting it.
So it IS me, so if you want others here let me know and i'll stop posting as i don't want to stop people from coming here.

I've just been bad mouthed so much on here that i seem to have developed a negative reputation.
So yes, if any of you want me to go i will :) I'm happy with that.
*hugs to all*

I like it us four aswell. I can tell you NOW...Me, Becca & Kahila definately don't want you to leave the psych ward. :-D

MammaMia 19-10-2008 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowedseraph (Post 1161308)
*Hugs Kahlia, Laura and Helen* chocolate is good!

Helen i've noticed it seems to just be us, ah well the ward is quiet, i hope that means people are having good times

*hugs Becca some more* Chocolate rocks. I wish I had a lifetime's supply :laugh: But then I'd be even more ehavier than I am now and I look big enough already. Everyone thinks I look skinny, haha I like that. I do really, just sometimes I feel fat :pinch:

I know a few members aren't having a good time, but oh well, they know they have us :) I think some people just go through phases with posting but so many people are missing =[

Dramatic 19-10-2008 01:11 AM

You shouldn't feel bad for accepting it Hells, after all, you know this is what i want, and in my heart i know it's MY time. I just KNOW it, i feel it.
It just feels right. And i'm glad you're accepting, because it makes me feel more comfortable about doing it. If that makes sense.
I'll miss you too, and i'll be about for a little while yet :) So no need for goodbyes just yet.

And, i honestly don't mind leaving if it's necessary.
It seems i've made many enermies!
Whoop. Fun times.

shadowedseraph 19-10-2008 01:14 AM

*hugs Helen* i'm here for anyone who needs me :P might not have much to say but i'll try.

*drinks chocolate milk and eats chocolate buscuits*

MammaMia 19-10-2008 01:15 AM

I know you think I shouldn't feel bad but I do. I do know this is what you want indeed and I understand why. I'm half glad it makes you feel more comfortable about but blaming myself if this is encouraging you which it seems to be :notsure: I know you'll be about for a while...but still.

Don't you dare leave. We love you. Honest :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dramatic (Post 1161320)
You shouldn't feel bad for accepting it Hells, after all, you know this is what i want, and in my heart i know it's MY time. I just KNOW it, i feel it.
It just feels right. And i'm glad you're accepting, because it makes me feel more comfortable about doing it. If that makes sense.
I'll miss you too, and i'll be about for a little while yet :) So no need for goodbyes just yet.

And, i honestly don't mind leaving if it's necessary.
It seems i've made many enermies!
Whoop. Fun times.


shadowedseraph 19-10-2008 01:17 AM

*nodnods at Laura and gives huge snuggles* tis true we love you lots

*hugs Helen*

MammaMia 19-10-2008 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowedseraph (Post 1161325)
*hugs Helen* i'm here for anyone who needs me :P might not have much to say but i'll try.

*hugs Becca* I'm glad we have you :) I'm glad we have everyone.

To be perfectly truthful, I hate when we get a new member who comes in, posts once or twice and then never returns. It feels like a disruption of the environment I feel comfortable in.

Bit mean really. I'm ok with people joining the regulars, like new people who post a fair bit, like you & Laura. But yeah...just dont like it when they post once or twice, feels like they're invading my comfortable space or something.

(To anyone who's reading and thinking of posting, I'm not a bitch and dont let this put you off please? lol)

shadowedseraph 19-10-2008 01:24 AM

*hugs all and hands out expensice chocolates*

Dramatic 19-10-2008 01:26 AM

I understand what you mean Hells about people coming in.
I'm more than accepting of new people coming in,
however, it makes me feel uncomfortable when someone comes in, says "I want to die" then never returns.
It's like..hi..welcome..don't die..ok..bye??!??
>.<

And don't blame yourself Hells. It isn't YOU making me do it, it's ME.
I think what makes me feel more comfortable about it all is that i know that the way i'm doing it will work.
I've already been tipped by nurses/doctors that it will work.
Which makes me happier knowing i won't fail.

OH.
And i love you all too. <3

P.S. Do any of you own a livejournal? If not, i recommend you getting one..as i'm on there, and it's a good place to vent. *nod*
x

MammaMia 19-10-2008 01:36 AM

Laura, your post made me feel better about this. Thank you hun I guess. *hugs you tight all the same* I keep joining lj and then forgetting passwords etc lol. CBA with it anymore lol.

Auburn Shadow 19-10-2008 01:47 AM

Haven;t really been around for a while, but I kinda need to stay safe right now, anmd... well apart from this, it aint happening

shadowedseraph 19-10-2008 01:50 AM

*hugs Auburn shadow* stay in here where its safe then *offers you a blanket and choclate milk*

BoundNoMore 19-10-2008 01:56 AM

I am still alive
but I wish I wasn't...
:sigh: :wailing: :wall: :hair: :-(

MammaMia 19-10-2008 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auburn Shadow (Post 1161373)
Haven;t really been around for a while, but I kinda need to stay safe right now, anmd... well apart from this, it aint happening

*hugs tight*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bound by Thoughts (Post 1161385)
I am still alive
but I wish I wasn't...
:sigh: :wailing: :wall: :hair: :-(

Same here hunni *hugs tight* I'm glad you're still alive though. xx

Kahlia1981 19-10-2008 02:38 AM

*hugs everyone*

I feel blech. But that's okay ... my friend keeps telling me it will pass. He also keeps taking sharp objects out of my hand. Meh.

Laura, if it's what you feel you have to do, then I won't say anything else. I just wanted to let you know that I will miss you. You'll always be around in spirit like you said ... which makes me feel a bit better. *hugs you*

It was extremely quiet in here with just the 4 of us posting for awhile. Something like 5 pages or so LOL.

*hugs everyone and hands out expensive chocolate and several different types of soft drink (LOL)*

MammaMia 19-10-2008 02:59 AM

*hides in cupboard*

:(

Pomegranate 19-10-2008 03:42 AM

Haven't been here for a while. In pain physically and emotionally. Not in pain, but ill and sore. I don't know what I feel. I don't normally feel like this. I just feel empty, like someone has locked me in an empty room and I am invisible but something is there lurking and brushing passed me. It's like I am nothing, hollow but at the same time there is something bubbling beneath.

I am not here. I'm empty. But at the same time it hurts, being hollow hurts. I don't want to do or be anything and I'm not. So much to do, so much time to waste on the way to the inevitable. Owww, pain. This sucks. I want to be near people, be held and loved but at the same time I want them all to leave them the **** alone. But they are always there wanting....something.

I don't know what I want from this post, hugs maybe. Don't think so. Nobody can offer advice because none of this, none of me or my life makes sense. Not in an overly emotional way, but seriously. People are either ****ing stupid and don't realise how empty life is or they aren't like me.

BoundNoMore 19-10-2008 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 1161504)
Haven't been here for a while. In pain physically and emotionally. Not in pain, but ill and sore. I don't know what I feel. I don't normally feel like this. I just feel empty, like someone has locked me in an empty room and I am invisible but something is there lurking and brushing passed me. It's like I am nothing, hollow but at the same time there is something bubbling beneath.

I am not here. I'm empty. But at the same time it hurts, being hollow hurts. I don't want to do or be anything and I'm not. So much to do, so much time to waste on the way to the inevitable. Owww, pain. This sucks. I want to be near people, be held and loved but at the same time I want them all to leave them the **** alone. But they are always there wanting....something.

I don't know what I want from this post, hugs maybe. Don't think so. Nobody can offer advice because none of this, none of me or my life makes sense. Not in an overly emotional way, but seriously. People are either ****ing stupid and don't realise how empty life is or they aren't like me.

*cuddles you close and strokes your hair*
You just described everything I have been feeling lately.

MammaMia 19-10-2008 04:53 AM

*cuddles em close*

You're not invisable to me. Never will be. I promise you that.

Love you x

Dramatic 19-10-2008 04:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 1161504)
Haven't been here for a while. In pain physically and emotionally. Not in pain, but ill and sore. I don't know what I feel. I don't normally feel like this. I just feel empty, like someone has locked me in an empty room and I am invisible but something is there lurking and brushing passed me. It's like I am nothing, hollow but at the same time there is something bubbling beneath.

I am not here. I'm empty. But at the same time it hurts, being hollow hurts. I don't want to do or be anything and I'm not. So much to do, so much time to waste on the way to the inevitable. Owww, pain. This sucks. I want to be near people, be held and loved but at the same time I want them all to leave them the **** alone. But they are always there wanting....something.

I don't know what I want from this post, hugs maybe. Don't think so. Nobody can offer advice because none of this, none of me or my life makes sense. Not in an overly emotional way, but seriously. People are either ****ing stupid and don't realise how empty life is or they aren't like me.

This is often how i describe my feelings/emotions in my online journal.
And everything you just said..is scarely how i feel 90% of the time.
Especially in regards to wanting to be surrounded by people, but at the same time wanting to be left alone.

I can't offer advice. I can say though..you really aren't alone in feeling this way. Infact, you've prescribed how i feel the majority of the time so perfectly..i'm somewhat taken aback as to what to say.

All i can do is offer hugs and support. If you ever feel like you need to talk, feel free to PM me. Or, come onto this thread and talk..as we're all here to support you.
*Massive hug*
Laura x

BoundNoMore 19-10-2008 05:34 AM

make it stop... make the voices stop!!!!

MammaMia 19-10-2008 06:23 AM

*cuddles Amanda*

*makes voices stop hurting you and throws them to a place they cant escapt*

I.hate.this.

BoundNoMore 19-10-2008 06:32 AM

*curls up in Helen's arms like a scared little girl*

Kahlia1981 19-10-2008 07:15 AM

*hugs everyone*

I don't feel like cutting for the first time in .... ages. I put a knife down voluntarily which is something that never happens. I was all ready to cut and then the diazepam that my friend gave me fully kicked in and I felt okay. Not manic, just sort of .... yes my life is not perfect, but at this moment in time I'm doing okay, the best that I can and I don't need to punish myself. I'm even smiling. f-r-e-a-k-y.

Love and hugs to all of you.

Auburn Shadow 19-10-2008 08:45 AM

*hugs everyone*

Relationships suck. But the stupid thing is, I actually love the guy, but right now, he's putting me through some ****. If he had his way, I'd never see or speak to anyone that isn't him. He's very paranoid, and he keeps talking about having different people inside him as if it's a normal occurence and everyone has them. He just... well, he's constantly punching things because I won't come and see him, or I say hi, or hug, someone else, even if they're female and one of my best friends, he'll still get pissy and go off and punch something, or just be a moody git until I give him a hug again or something.
Last night just put the lid on everything though, I don't even know what happened, but it had something to do with punching things and one of my closest mates giving me a hug, and then when I tried to talk about it with him he was constantly offering to get someone else to talk to me, and I was just.... well, I really can't do this anymore because it's not good for my state of mind having to deal with this pretty much every time we go out.

Gotta see him again in a bit, and I'm actually pretty much dreading it. The whole thing almost made me cut last night but I couldn't because I had a mate staying over who refused to go to sleep until he knew I wasn't going to do anything stupid (so he waited until I fell asleep)

*sigh* *curls up in a corner with a blanket*


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