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Exactly , Sorry I'm not super chatty tonight :S
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*Hugs Sarah, Mark, Kitty, Helen and Elaine*
One question, what on Earth was the point in punishing sucide by death? Who came up with that? Not only is there very little that can be done about it if the attempt works, but surey killing someone for it won't be much punishment if that's what they were trying to do in the first place... That's basically like saying 'you tried to kill so and so, it failed. Your punishment is to kill so and so.' Weird people. |
*Hugs Lia* I agree it's just plain stupid
*Spots and hugs Solo* |
I'm back. -hugs and cuddles ward-
Edit: Helen I am sitting here snuggled up in my sleeping bag lol it looks funny but least the bottom is closed up so my feet have a chance to warm up too. |
Hey Kitty , Welcome back , How was your appointment?
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Kitty, oh good idea re:sleeping bag
Lia, I was thinking that lol. What an odd world we live in. Sarah, yay glad you're managing to feel bit better. I hate lack of motivation, it sucks. Does anyone else have a LJ? I know April does & I've got hers =) I started one up yesterday. |
*hugs everyone*
I hate that my reaction to things I'm too opposed to confronting is to shut off... On the other hand... MY IN-LAWS MOVED OUT! I know, we all thought they'd be there forever, but nope! They moved out on the 1st! Now if everything this year was going so well... How is everyone? I have an LJ Hels but I haven't used it in probably 2 years now. lol |
I have an LJ Helen , I go through spurts of writing followed by periods of time of nothing though , I'm really bad at it , I can't often think of much to write.
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Yaaaay for Crimson :D
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Oh thats good news Crimson , about your in laws :) *Hugs*
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Thanks Mark. It was alright. Short and sweet. It was an appointment to reapply for energy assistance. Just had to fill out some paperwork and stuff. Now we have to wait a couple of weeks to find out if we are approved for continued assistance and if so we will find out how much we will receive in assistance and when it will be applied to our account. It wasn't too bad. The next appointment is the one I worry about. It's an appointment with my MD. I have been kind of waiting for it but at the same time I'm not looking forward to it because I really do not like the doctor. I have to discuss with him my concerns about believing I have schizophrenia and try to get on meds for that. Also have to see if he can up my dose on my anti-anxiety meds because they seem to be helping a little but would like to try a higher dose. Also need to talk to him about my problem with the sleeping meds. He will probably try to get me to discontinue them but if I don't have anything to take to help me sleep I won't be able to sleep. -sighs- Oh I hate anxiety of going to the doctor!
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Heh I downloaded an ebook on healthy eating patterns and why diets are bad for the system to rationalise why I'm piling on weight whilst being forced onto mums diet.
Nice to hear about the inlaws Crimson How was the appointment Kitty? Hope it went well Helen - I don't have a live journal, I'm too scared people will find me :p Might set one up soon though Mark, I write like you :p my IRL journal is like that, months missing then 2 or 3 posts per day :p |
*Hugs Kitty* I have that same anxiety of going to the Dr I just am currently waiting for an envelope to plop through my door with an appointment ,I am due one.
*Hugs Sarah* It's sounds like a good ebook , could you follow it's advice at all? |
Yeah, it seems to help perfectly and makes wonderful sense. Explains how the diets don't work and how really people need to focus more on what they need not what they think they're supposed to need. Also explains why what mum does makes me ill.
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Sarah, where do you download your stuff from? I got an E-book for Christmas and am having trouble finding a decent site.
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Amazon, I got a kindle app for my android tablet and get them in kindle format.
In other news - so the TV says something and the guy on there instantly knows more than anyone ever according to my mum. How I haven't gone insane and punched her in her stupid fat face I don't know. |
I sometimes wonder how I've kept my cool all these years sarah. You're just a better person than she is.
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*smug*
No seriously, thats not hard, I've never kicked the dogs... |
I've often wanted to kick my dog, but I love him really.
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Sarah, my mom is similar. She does not kick her dogs, though. She has only been physically violent towards me once. When I was a teen, she was so pissed off at me for one of my grades and my teacher had written something on the report card but it wasn't true. I did not give in and say "Yeah it's true I did wrong" I kept my ground and told her it wasn't true. I told her my side of the story (which was the truth) but she believed the teacher over me. And just because I wouldn't admit that I was wrong she threw a box that she had in her hands full of stuff at me. It hit me and left a bruise. To this day I don't remember the details of that fight other than what I just said. But now I don't even try to stand up for myself anymore because I still have the fear of her because of that incident. Now she is not physically abusive to me but she is verbally abusive. She doesn't even see it, that's how far in denial she really is. She thinks she is just giving me constructive criticism but I know otherwise. It's been going on all my life, and it's not about to change. It's so hard to live with it...even though I don't live with her anymore I hear it every time I talk to her on the phone she goes on about one thing or the other that's wrong with me and every time I go to visit her she constantly talks about stuff that's wrong with me it never ends. -snuggles sarah- Sorry you have to deal with it, too.
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*sighs and sits on the floor*
The following content has been hidden - Reason : my current dilemma/state of being shut down
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Just let her know you're there for her Crimson, but let her lead the conversations. If she doesn't want to talk about it, don't make her, but at the same time, don't brush her off if she does. Ask her how she is and don't take 'fine' to be the truth. We all know too well what 'fine' can really mean.
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You could tell her about her Brothers meds a whatnot like you told us and tell her to take that information to the onbudsman ? and like Lia says just be there for her and be a friend . I know this is crap advice on my part but I have no experience with this , sorry.
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*Hugs everyone*
So I did something good today, although it doesn't feel good :( warning-could be triggering-SA. (The hide boxes wouldn't work :/ .................................................. .................................................. ............ So my friend Leon text me earlier, i'm gonna write out the texts to make it easier: Leon-Blow job Me-What about it? Leon-You needa give me one Me-No I don't Leon-Sure? Me-yep. Leon-What about a ****? Me-Nope Leon-Wow you're turning that down aswell? Really? Me-Yep Leon-So you will never ever want me to **** you? Ever? Me-Nope Leon-whats wrong with you.... Me-I can't keep sleeping with you or have any sexual contact with you-i'm sorry, but if i'm ever gonna get my life back i've gotta start respecting my body..... Leon-Ok don't have fun then, All it would be is pleasure but ok....If you wanted woulda done you so hard though ha. why do I still feel like I shoulda done it? I don't feel good at all, I just feel like i've lost the last person that would ever want me in that way :( |
Nicole Hun *Hugs* You stood up and stood your ground and you should be so very proud of yourself .
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*Hugs Mark* Thankyou :) But I still don't feel good, he was the closest thing I had to a relationship and now I feel like i've lost that :(
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-hugs crimson- I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am not the best at giving advice but I hope this helps at least a little. I agree with what Lia says. If you are concerned for her safety, don't leave her by herself if at all possible. And about your husband wanting you to tell him how to get the jail in trouble I suggest telling him your concerns. Hope this helps..
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-hugs nicole- It wasn't a real relationship if that's all he wanted, hun. You'll find somebody some day that will rock your world.
Gotta go again for a while gots my doc appointment but I will be back. |
*Hugs Nicole* Ask yourself , would you have felt better about your self had you done it? It doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship , (Not that I'm one to give advice on relationships :S) and I think you would have just felt used if you had gone through with it hun .
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*Hugs Kitty and Mark*
I know :( I felt like I was 12 years old again with my step brother, thats why I told him I couldn't do it. But nobody ever wants me, I am gonna be alone forever, he was my last hope :( |
Crimson, I would tell someone about the meds thing if you think it would be appropriate and let your friend know you're there for her if she wants to talk?
Nicole, there are so many people out there in the world, there is not only just person in the world you'll have sex with or want they want to have with you. For example I got raped as you know and then have had sex nearly on two other occasions, there was good reasons why not. But anyway, he's not going to be the only person who wants to have sex with you in short. Please don't worry about it *cuddles* You're not going to be alone forever. I can assure you. No matter how much you feel like that right now. *hugs* |
*Squishes Nicole Tons*
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*Hugs Helen* I know..Thanks hun, I know I'm being silly, it's just hard to see it right now :(
*squishes Mark back* |
*holds Nicole*
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*snuggles Helen*
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*snuggles Nicole*
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*Joins in snuggling fest*
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Yay Lia :)
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*sneaks in for snuggles*
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Yay Sarah :)
I'm off to bed shortly. Back to college tomorrow :) |
Looking forwards to it hun?
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*hides in denial tent in my velvety leopard print snuggie*
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*hugs helen, crimson, nicole, lia, sarah, and mark*
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Got awful toothache. Think I need to see my dentist
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*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs Sarah* *Hugs Mark* *Hugs Kelly* *Hugs Laura* *Hugs Nicole* *Hugs Lia* |
I heard Rebecca again...
Also discovered that there are only 40 beds in this area for women with mental health issues as inpatients yet over 300 for men. How does that work? Apparently (as my fiance has delivered food to them before) there's a 2 or 3 year waiting list for women. Surely they could do something about it? Its an awful long time for someone in a crisis to suffer. |
-walks in slamming the door behind her and marches to her dark room and slams the door of it as well-
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*peeks out of the denial tent* what's up kitty?
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Whats up Kitty? Hows everyone else?
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Extremely pissed off and beyond frustrated right now I want to SI and I am having bad suicidal urges. Sorry.
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