ohhh but I LIVE in clutter Crimson :P lol

lol me too! But since FLY stands for 'finally loving yourself" and the CHAOS is contributing to my 'insanity', stress and anger issues I figured I need it.

Thanks Mark. My counsellor was after putting me in touch with the voulnerable adult team, but they'd speak to my parents and I have nowhere to go to stay safe. :(

Could you ask them not to speak to you parents Sarah? You are an adult .
*Hugs*

Night Night Ward mates
Love ya'll
*Hugs*

*snuggles* I might do. Loves you too, and thanks x

*hugs Mark and Sarah*
G'night Mark!

*Hugs everyone*

Just so everyone knows, I believe it's against the rules to post lists of food on RYL :( I'll PM Mark incase he misses this.

Sorry, I know it was couple pages back but thought people should be aware before getting into trouble x

You're right Hels. I had to go search it out since it's not in the regular rules and I never visit the ED board but I found it ^

*Curls up*

*plops down on nearest couch with 'Burned' the last book in the House of Night series* Hello wardies :)

*hugs nicole, helen, kelly, crimson, mark, sarah, jill, solo and everyone else*

How are you all?

I brought some books today with my amazon voucher

0.0 the cuteness!

*hugs Kelly, Nicole, Helen and Oliver (and anyone else lurking around :))*

*hugs all bacl* I'm doing better now that the mess w/ the gas co. are straightend out & I'm over my panic attack

how bout all of u?

Still hangin' in there, Oliver?

*hugs kelly* I'm glad you managed to sort the messwith the gas company and your over your panic attack, they are horrible things.

Yeah managing to hang in there

good. Glad you're hanging in there.

And yes panic attacks suck! My chest hurt for like an hour after and is still a little tight... I also have a cold so I know that didn't help anything.

*curls up in blanket and covers a cough* I'm thinking nyquill is needed tonight.

*cuddles Crimson, Kelly, Oliver & Nicole*

I'm good =)

*cuddles back* .... I'm headin for the nyquill soon ... so if my typing becomes all unreadable please don't be concerned... mama's gettin herself some sleep tonight and maybe i can finally knock this cold!

*sneezes and coughs*

Colds sucks :( Especially the one that's been going round. I had it with a bad cough and it was awful :/ *cuddles*

Ooh what did you order? :)


Should probably sleep soon... :doze:

thanks... my cough is just now getting bad. my head is killing me and the soar throat is kicking in... but I'll make it through.

While this would knock my hubby on his ass... I can still managed to drag my butt outta bed and take care of the kids :)

*hugs back* :)

I got 15 books at the library :p

Good for you Kelly =) *cuddles*

Heather, wow that's lots of books!!

*is jealous*

Must go to the library soon...

I ordered Christopher Hitchin's God is not Great and Stephen Fry's two autobiographies, can't wait to get them, it will be hard knowing which one to read first.

How are you? yeah I shouldprobably sleep soon too, have crisis team appt at 11am, meh don't wanna go, they keep suggesting hospital or sleeping tablets.


*hugs Heather* thats a lot of books to get out at once, hope you have fun reading them though :)

*hugs kelly* hope you feel better soon, colds like that really suck and good for you still managing to sort the kids.

*hugs Helen, Crimson, Nicole and all others who have popped in*

Moab is my Washpot is one of my favourite books ever, I've loved Stephen Fry to bits ever since I read it a few years ago. Not read the second one yet though, but I really should given how much I liked the first.

I'm good thanks, really will go to sleep soon as I'm seeing my step-family tomorrow.

Ah yeah you probably should sleep too then, always better to get these stressful things done with the proper energy. Are you very against those suggestions? *hug*

thanks, oliver & Helen. :) I think the Nyquill is starting to kick in ... can't stop yawning

*yawns*

I've loved Stephen Fry ever since I got the first harry potter on tape with him reading it, that man is a legend.

mmm, yeah I should probably sleep, well I'm not against the hospital idea, except for the fact I'm at home with my family at the moment and a friend is coming new years eve for a few days so that could keep me going until i go back to manchester, its then thats its a worry espeially as i have a very detaild suicide plan, not sure what i think of sleeping tablets
hope you manage to sleep ok *hugs*

*hugs kelly* hope you manage some sleep

oh great, I'm bloody terrified again to turn off my laptop. its 4 am and i have a crisis team appt at 11am, don't want to go though, don't feel safe enough to walk, quite a few roads and a couple of bridges to cross, then if i tell them that they will start suggesting hospital again, but if i lie whats the point of going.

*hides out in a safe corner*

Could you get a taxi? I know they can be a bit pricey but could be worth it to get it out of the way without having to feel too unsafe *hug*

Not really, I hate taxis for so many reasons, plus at my parents atm so they would know. I ma have to try and sleep now, god wish my heart would stop pounding

Oh ok, just want you to get there without feeling unsafe. I hope you sleep as well as can be expected. Hope tomorrow's appointment is over and done with quickly.

i is here

i am ok how r u?

*offers hugs*

Hey julie :)

So freaking tired. Had to get up to start my endoscope prep. As soon as my dad goes out I'm so having a nap.

*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Crimson*
*Hugs Nicole*
*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs Kelly*
*Hugs Oliver*Ohh What books? and good luck with your appointment :)
*Hugs Michelle if okay* Hello , I'm Mark ,Welcome to the ward.
*Hugs Heather* 15 books!! wowsers. That's some reading :)
*Hugs Willow*
*Hugs Julie*

How is everyone ?

*hugs everyone*

I wish I had overdosed yesterday, i'm wasting time. I can't take any more of this.

How are you, Mark?

*Hugs Lindsay* It's so good that you didn't OD yesterday Lindsay , You fought through the Urges aand you won , it may not feel like much right now but thats an accomplishment :)

Thanks, Mark. How are you doing today?

SO true :-)

*huggles all*

sorry for the lack of individuals and my self-centeredness in my posts at the moment. can't get online too much and it's hard to keep up when there's so many pages between what i last read and where the ward is now.

really struggling right now. don't know why i am reaching out for help here. i don't deserve it. i guess i just don't have anywhere else to turn. i don't know what to do right now. my head is just telling me that everyone would be better off without me ... i can't help thinking it's right. i have everything i need to do the job, and i could make it so that no-one would ever know what had happened. i would just die in my sleep. i don't want to leave anyone in pain, but i can't live like this either ... and i can't stop thinking that after they got over the initial shock and pain they would all be so much better off.

sorry. i'll shut up.

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Helen*

*Spots and Hugs Kahlia*

I felt pretty flat this morning , I could barely get out of bed but I feel a little better mentally now . I went for a walk and did a bit of grocery shopping . I got bean burgers , They're new , I think I'm burgering it tonight :) . I feel slightly nauseous , Does anyone know if parcetemol will help that ? or Aspirin? , That all I have and I don't want to go out again righ now.

Oh Kahlia *Hugs* People would NOT be better off without you hun . Please get rid of you stuff you have to do it:( , throw it in the bin , give it to your housemate ? . Oh and you deserve as much support as everyone else , we are here for you .