*cuddles everyone*

My boiler is kind of being fixed at the moment....they've had to rip out my kitchen cupbaords!! eek. There's mess and noise and stuff going on and all I want to do is lie on sofa and go to sleep! I am in my pj's and look rough as hell, there is washing up to be done in the sink and random men in my kitchen...this is not at all how a friday should be..... :(

*huggles all*

ooh and Kahila I'll keep my finegrs and toes crossed for you that the cyclone doesn't cause you any problems.

*cuddles Hayley lots* I hope they're not there for too long sweetheart, I know how horrible it is though. I didn't like the heating men (as I called them) coming into my room all the time *shudders* or into the living room when one day I stayed there & fell asleep a few times :/ Just felt like a violation of my own privacy, especially my bedroom. But I knew it had to be done to get it working & stuffs :(

I deliberately avoided seeing my support worker today. I just want to hide from everyone. Everything is so hard.

*cuddles Lindsay* Sorry things are so hard sweet :(

*hugs kahlia* hope the storm isnt too bad for you.

*hugs hayley* i hope you get to relax like you wanted, sorry the ppl were an annoyance.. I'm glad your heat is getting fixed though.

*hugs mark* Try to stay strong and safe. I know its hard. Keep trying to fight the urges if they come back.

*cuddles helen, jet, and lindsay*

Going back to school tomorrow. I'm glad and also dreading going back to class... I told 2 ppl about some of my SI stuff in the past week. It feels so weird, like I am doing something I am not supposed to... idk why I told them exactly, I guess it was that they were revealing stuff about themselves to me so i thought i would return the experience or something. Maybe it'll turn out okay. I getting tired of trying to hide.

*hugs everyone*

Sorry, too many posts for me to respond to at the moment... brain is kind of fried. :( Am really exhausted, want to sleep for a looong time, but my bestie is supposed to be coming over in an hour, so yeah. No sleeping for me, I'm afraid, until tonight at least.

Had a nice outing with my mum - went to a bagel shop for lunch and then walked the dogs a bit... went to the vet's for one of them (he's very ill with congestive heart failure & needs to go to the vet's 2x/wk I think)... then came back to the apartment and I showed her some purchases I made this morning at Walmart. Am very happy with one of them - it's a very pretty shirt that I really like. Pastel and flow-y, not at all my style but I think it's lovely. Hehe. I also got a Twilight shirt *guilty look* haha... and then some food that we needed. So yes. And I am now home and drinking iced tea like a fiend... because it tastes so freaking good!!

I have a tonnn of schoolwork to do this weekend, one of the things being starting my senior sem paper... urgh. :( I'm scared about that...

*hides*

*hugs all*

A cyclone update for anyone interested: We are now at the top of the warning area. Next advice is due out shortly. Very calm around here at the moment ... The cyclone is expected to make landfall at around 2 am tomorrow.

*walks around hugging everyone then disappears into the smoking shelter*

*cuddles everyone*

Hope it doesn't hit you Kahlia *squishes* Keep updating if you can xxx

PrincessSparkle walks in,wanting to scream and crying on the inside,grabs her blanky and goes to a dark corner to hide for a while... Hey mamamia im glad u heard from your riend,feeling better? Hugs for everyone,I had a crappy day too, just want to sleep for the next three days!!

I have updates, will do them in the morning, must dash xxxx

Updates are good!

hmmmm... ethically wrong, morally right... my morals win. lol now i just hope it doesn't bite me in the ass later on...

Is it ok if PrincessSparkle stays in her dark corner for a while?She's sad and wants to hide from the world....mainly from 16-year old sister and recession... Teenagers...Im never having kids...only if have A LOT of money! xxx

*hugs all*

Very short cyclone update:

Ului is expected to cross the coast between Ayr and Sarina early Sunday. We are expecting "damaging" winds late this afternoon. Still at the top of the warning zone.

On the bright side: The weather's lovely. :S

*hugs all then tries to get a bit of rest*

*cuddles everyone*

cuddles back!
haha just realised my alarm is going off in 5 hours i should really sleep!

If it makes you feel any better, I have to be up in less than 4 hours!!! Struggling to sleep....

*hugs all*

Cyclone Ului now Cat 3 is expected to hit quite a long way south of us now. If we get anything with it on it's present course it will be just a little rain. We are still in the "warning" area, but it would require a significant change in the direction of travel, which is highly unlikely.

*hugs all then curls up in a dark corner for a rest*

Am so so so ****ing anxious!!! This is not letting up and I hate it so much. I woke up at 4am unable to get back to sleep because of the anxiety. Tried playing WoW and managed it for a bit but then had to get off due to the damn anxiety!!

:crying:

It's crippling... I HATE IT!!!! :crying:

*hides*

*hugs to all*
Sorry about the lack of individual replies ,I'm flat and frustrated at I don't know what and anxious and pissed of at myself .

*Hides in a dark corner to sit it out*

*cuddles everyone*

Hugs!
Mamamia did you get any sleep last nite, and you April?
Doikers, stay in your corner and breeeeathe, itll b ok!
More hugs!
Heard about an interesting ook today, called "non-violent communication" ...

I did get some sleep. Had a really good day actually. Am shattered so going to bed soon me thinks :)

hey guys *hugs* havent been on in a while. how is everyone.

*grabs blanket and teddy and curls up in corner crying*

*cuddles all*

Nicole, sweetie, what's up?? *hugs*

Hels, hope you sleep well!! :) ♥

Mark, how you doing tonight?? any better?

Kahlia, how's the cyclone progressing? (sorry to make it sound like a "work of art" being "in progress" ... heh) and how are YOU feeling?

Sorry to any that I missed... oh, and Joc, good to see you back!! (forget how many pages back that was, but still, good to see you *squish*)

I'm okay... I guess. Today has been a pretty weird day if I dare say so myself. :-/ Gonna update my r/v thread in a bit...

Ha. Been to sleep, woke up & got all upset when trying to go back to sleep. So have got up again :| Will be up most of the night now I bet >.>

i feel crap :'( flashbacks are awful. i just wanna hurt myself. i havent self harmed in over a week. i usually do it 30-40 times a day.....i need it. i wanna cut. i wanna OD. i wanna jump outta my bedroom window. i cant take this!!

hugs nicole, sorry your having flashbacks. tryand stay safe okay.walks in and curls up in corner, want to hide for a while, bad day just got worse. =/

Am struggling myself...

*squishes for everyone, along with calorie-free cookies and juice boxes!!*

Updated my r/v thread... :crying:

*group hugs* looks like we're in for a bad night........

*hugs all*

April - the cyclone missed us by miles. Seems to have missed any major land areas. We've got a bit of rain this morning. I get what you mean about cyclone : art work. Me ... I'm starting to come out of depression. Oh, and the hospital is trying to kill me. And there is absolutely no paranoia in that whatsoever. Twice they have administered OD's and refused to treat the results ... is there any wonder I think they are trying to kill me...

*hugs everyone and curls up tightly in a ball to wait for the rain to stop or at least slow*

*cuddles everyone tight* Keep fighting people. Or trying to anyway :)

It'll get better..

*hugs everyone* i feel............awful. thats it. i cant even think of anything to describe the way im feeling. it hurts. im so upset i'm physically hurting. i feel like someones ripped me to shreds then jumped all over the peices. i cant take this!! :'(

*cuddles Nicole* I understand the feeling, sweetie, I really do. :( That's kind of how I feel at the moment... just want to curl up and die.

:crying:

Please keep fighting you two. Don't want to lose either of you :( *cuddles tight*

i cant keep fighting. i cant. it hurts too much.........

I know it really hurts. But it WILL get better. The pain will end, you just got to keep going. Don't OD Nicole. *cuddles*

Ow, can my period pains please go **** off now? I had them epically bad this morning, they got better but have slowly hurt more through the day. It's horrible >.> Hopefully'll be gone when I wake tomorrow =) But for now, OWWWW :@

i cant OD, i have no pills. I cant cut. not properly. i have no blades. i dunno what to do........i dont see how it can get better. people have been telling me that for 3 years, but its just getting worse.

It will get better eventually honey. But you have to go through this **** to get there. Like they say, there's no rainbow without rain. *cuddles* Glad you have nothing to harm with..

i know but-3 years?? how much longer is it gonna be? and i know its good i've got nothing to harm with but well. its just making me think about doing even more stupid things :(

Yeah sleep is good...I get awful grumpy when I'm tired, no fair on anyway who's around me lol!Only times I get real bitchy is when Im either starving or sleep-deprived!

PrincessSparkle is wondering how to talk to teen sister about whether or not she's still self-harming and maybe she might be better off in foster care?

:(

Nicole, there's good days, maybe you're blind to them right now as you're struggling so much. Which is understandable. I've gone through one **** thing after another (it feels like it anyway) since I was 13, maybe younger. I'm now 20 & somehow still fighting. It is really epically hard, but the good times have make you believe they will come back.

Princess, why do you think you'd be better in foster care sweetie? Talking to your sister about your self harming sounds like a good idea *cuddles*

Nicole - I've been going through **** for about 12 years now ... I do have some good times, but there has been an awful lot of ****. For me, a lot of the problem has been in regard to actually getting some sort of treatment that is suitable. Don't give up hope. I know, easier to say then do. *hugs*

Hels - Hang in there sweetie. *big hugs*

Princess - *hugs you*

*hugs everyone*

And once again I have to say it: It can't rain all the time ...

*cuddles Kahlia*

Am having a fight with my head. Urge to cut just randomly came on. SCREAMING. Shut up. I'll be fine. Always fine. *hides*

lol....not me....its my sis that (i hope) used to self-harm, she lives with me... thats why im here, doing research and talking to people!
losing my job next month and i have college,a bf, i'll have to find another job...maybe she'd be better off somewere more stable....i just dont know wat to do..

Oh I understand. I'd definitely talk to her about it. *cuddles*

just awkward because im her big sister but now also have to try and be her guardian...and she never talks.ever.about anything.eg if her and her bf have had a fight she wont tell me.So I never know whats going on which doesnt help!!

It's hard I know. But best thing to do, is let her know you're there for her always xxx