Thanks for the tissues, I got through so many last night, dope that I am!

Just finding it really hard not having my dad here everyday anymore =[

*sobs in corner clutching her stuffed lamb*

Damn it all to hell :crying:

hi alyssa hi alyssa hi alyssa!!!

Callie!!! *gives her a massive bear hug* sorry about the tears there
I MISSED YOU!!!

*SNIFF SNUFFLE*
I KNOW me too i don't quite know what happened
i expect that as soon as i figure it out i will need to permanently check in here because apparently i am completely insane
cry all you want! i have that effect on people ;)
how are you what's up??

I'm doing, not exactly sure how... right now not too good I suppose. How about you? Gosh, I missed you so much! Life just isn't the same without my RYL Twin!!!
*gives you another bear hug and shares the tissues*

aw thanks - life without talking to you is SO not the same, nobody ever understands quite like an ryl twin does
i think i'm pretty crappy but apparently i can't identify my own emotions so who knows maybe i'm ecstatic and life is perfect
it's all quite overwhelming and confusing, isn't it?
*hoards the tissues*

*Pleads to be allowed to stay checked-in*

Got to go to the doctor today and find out if I need to see a surgeon. Really scared. Just want to be able to swallow properly again and to be happy. To be able to keep my boy and not have him running away because I'm too unstable, as if that was something I could do something about. I take the drugs what more the hell do you want ? I just want all the pain to go away. Please someone?

*hides under the bed and starts crying*

*reluctantly gives up the tissues and shares with Kahlia*

Thank you chocostashchick - I'll steal you some more tissues from the supplies cupboard.

Back from doc. She thinks it's just anxiety or an allergic reaction to meds. Offered no hope whatsoever that I'll be able to swallow or breath properly. As if wearing a noose around your throat all day every day is normal. Just the feeling I mean. Agggghhhhh. I just want to scream. I probably would but it's difficult to make any noise when speaking so I'm not even going to try. I'm just going to burrow further in and keep crying.

*burrows right under bed and cries in second box of stolen tissues*

omgosh kahlia that is so unfair i am so sorry this is happening to you!
i totally suggest that you get a second opinion and see another doctor
arent doctors supposed to actually HELP people? not just be like "hey that sucks - toodles!"
THE WORLD IS AN UNFAIR PLACE AND IT NEEDS MORE TISSUES

what's the point? seriously. I spent hours last night planning how to get to a well known suicide spot, the logistics, train fare, what to wear, note etc etc and yet I know at the moment I can't do it because of my nan. I love her so much and yet right now I just want to push her away so she wont be hurt. Sorry for the ramble. Off to A+E for sutures again *sigh*

*hugs everyone* hope everyone is ok x

*wanders in and sits down quietly, hugging a pillow and watching the others*

:sad:

Hope A&E do not keep you waiting too long for your sutures...

*hugs*

Roiben

*hugs everyone who needs it*
I'm sorry everyones having such a time of it...

Ugh, I feel so awful... I want to cut, I want to hurt, OD, do SOMETHING!!! I want to die because I'm just so tired of this!!! :crying: damnit I don't even have anyting to OD WITH... I suck :pinch:

*wraps arms around knees and rocks back and forth very slightly* damn it :crying:

Well I managed an OD... Not a lot, shouldn't be a problem (though to be honest I wouldn't care if it was)... I'll check in tomorrow when I wake up...

Sorry guys.

*curls up in her corner and goes to sleep*

*comes in baring flowers*

I feel I shall finally return, if.. if that is alright.

*hugs ally* How r u feeling today? Hopefully slightly better? xxx

*leaves some mashmellow for ppl to munch on*

*hugs Jeremy back* Thanks, I think I feeling a bit better... kind of in a zone though... SO tired... probably because what I ODed on had a sleep aid in it...

*accepts a handful of marshmallows and heads back to her corner for a snack and a nap*

awww alyssa how are you honey? be safe i love you look after yourself

*wonders in and bangs head against the wall* It hurts, everything hurts too much :crying::crying:

I'm hoping everyone is ok tonight. Emma I love ya hun, pm if ya want.

I'm however, off to bed early- stuipd migraine!

Thanks Helen *offers watery smile and a hug* I hope your head feels better x

have come to rant because i seriously think that others can benefit from my misery right now:
on top of everything else in my life that has gone wrong, i just came to bed with a cup of tea and a book only to find a HUGE BUG CRAWLING IN MY SHEETS!!
seriously, i mean SERIOUSLY?
please tell me what i did to piss fate off this much
way to kick me when i'm down, world, way to kick me when i'm down

My head is hurting on/off, for **** sake, I hate headaches, get way too many :(

I' was up until 4.15am this morning, no thanks to my migraine. I nearly burst into tears in class =[ I cried for about 2 hours last night over my dad, when will this dammed emotional pain get easier (well relating to the split) like everyone ****ing promises me?

My folder broke today grr and I SO can't be arsed to go back into town to get a new one, but might do in a bit and meet my mum from her work and yeah.

1 week til I go on holiday YAAAAAAY! But I hope they don't see my leg, they'll automatically assume.....

Aw, Helen, that sucks. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.
*hugs*

And you have to go through some kind of "mourning period" before things get better. Too bad life has to be that way...but the more things are hard for us, the better life is when we can move on!
*throws you some chocolate*
Always makes me feel better.

Is it possible to just get out? To just make it all stop? I have barely been able to get out of bed today having only really made it out for more than 10 minutes just now and it's nearly 6pm over here.

Is it wrong to not want to tell your pdoc that you would rather die than take your meds from now on. Or to feel like threatening him that if he doesn't take me off the lithium I'll take myself off it?

Mes parents are getting frustrated with me because of my mood being so low and I just keep wanting to cry. Are there any stuffed animals in here I can hug?


*tries to find a quiet corner and sits down and cries*

I had to dump my fiance

Am just gonna curl up with a couple of valium and get some sleep.

*hugs everyone*
I hope you are all ok and staying safe.

Thanks hun, been feeling better past few days :)

Are new people allowed in here?... Might be the best place for me at the moment.

*shares stuffed animals with scarredwolf*
Your more than welcome here. Sometimes it is the best place to be.
*lies out on the floor with blanket on head*

i think i am cursed
fate hates me
my car was just in a hit and run and because i dont know who the other driver was, i have to go through my insurance and pay $500 dollars for the deductible
I DONT HAVE $500 CRAP CRAP CRAP

my visa bill is an epidemic

i think i am going to binge on cookie dough and oxy and destroy myself quietly. excuse my while my lingering shreds of sanity disappear.

*hugs Callie*
Hope you (and your car) are ok xx
*offers cookie dough and blanket to share*

*shares blanket and snags cookie dough*
thanks Pam. my car is disabled but will survive thanks to my visa card's noble sacrifice.
*passes what is left of the cookie dough around*

Bella i just saw your post and i hope you're doing okay hun! that's rough :(

hi
 

we haven't spoken before, but i just want to let you know that someone out there read your post. hopefully you have support here (which it looks like you do) that was able to respond to you before now.
i feel for you and sending you good vibes.

a.

hey all
hugs to everyone just wodering if its ok for me to chck in aain everything seem to be going down hill
xxxx

**hugs Jo**

Hope ur well there...look after urself there

PM me if need be :-)

can i come hide away here, i don't really want to face reality any more

Can someone give me some sort of drug to knock me out? Please :( I don't want to deal with life right now x

*cries*

Please let the baby okay, she deserves this so so so so so much!

*passes you tissues with cool yellow ducks on them* It will be ok Helen *hugs* Have faith x

And Nineflyz, of course you can! *offers you a hot chocolate* x

Thank you hun!

i dont know whether to go back and get help-havig problems with flashbacks want to talk to someone about them but no idea who sorry
xxx

Maybe you should hun, at one point I was struggling and was debating whether to return to counselling, which I did, saw her for two sessions and don't need to see her anymore, unless I want to see her :D

It might help?

Massive hugs for everyone :]

AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!
ok, now I get this is very very minor compared to some people's problems atm but I want to whine about it, and here seems as good a place as any. I found out today I have two essays due in three days that I have not started which I need to do to pass my course. I am having huge mood swings which are just retarded and making me feel horribly destructive (maybe you have noticed from posts). I have not been able cut for various reasons for 6 days now and it is driving me insane AND I am ill with some horrible virusy thing. So yes. I am pissed and I would like to disappear. Rant over.

*throws self on floor and attempts to bury head*

I'm scared frm that Earthquake, **** :\