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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

~KemicalRain~ 06-02-2008 12:52 AM

*runs in* i gave in again i am such a screw up i really am *sits in corner trying to play music on guitar* can i talk to some one

Jetforce 06-02-2008 05:06 PM

Damn...can't sleep

Had too much caffeine...doh, stupid me...grrrr

~*forever_broken*~ 06-02-2008 09:55 PM

****ed up yesterday and had an interesting experience because of it

*hands around coffee, tea, and cocoa*

I cut myself deeply before I went to work and while I was at work I called the health center to see if they had an appointment so I could get it stitched (I'd had several before that were at least this deep but I just butterflied them... decided to get this one stitched because of the way the others scared). They didn't but told me to come in after work to have it looked at. So I did. FIRST one of the nurses called me back to look at it and see if it really did need stitched... it did (duh) so she sent me back out to wait... Then she called me back and brought in a Dr I had seen before for another cut (that one didn't need stitched)... he looked at it and decided it needed stitched and then he left... Long story short I wound up with a different nurse and a different Dr than I started with... the nurse was the only one who was friendly (though to give them a bit of a break they were busy and I didn't have an appointment). The Dr was the guy I saw for a cut I was worried about last spring... the one who started me along on my journey of counseling and medication... He informed me it needed stitched (once again, duh)... he also asked me if I was seeing one of the counselors at the health center. I said yes. He asked me who. I asked him why. He told me that because I cut I needed to be seen. I told him I was seeing my counselor on Friday. His response 'This happened todady..?' My response 'Yes, I did this today' 'Then you need to be seen today'... OK fine, so I told him who. He stitched me up and then left me to wait to be cleaned up and then fetched by someone from the counseling center. My counselor didn't keep me more than 10-15 min.. He asked me (at one point) if this had been a ssuicide attempt... I laughed and told him that if it had been then I was the stupidest person in the world and shouldn't even be attempting suicide as I obviously don't know how do to it correctly (I had cut on my fore arm, not my wrist). The most distressing part of talking with him (it really wasn't that bad otherwise) was that at one point he said something about my not needing to go to a psychiatric unit... which means that it was a possibility!!! Good lord, give me a break :pinch:

Phew, long story, sorry.

*heads back to her corner and cries hoping it will help*

Much love to you all

MammaMia 07-02-2008 12:15 AM

massive hugs huunie.

I'm so good ahah I love it :)

Kahlia1981 07-02-2008 12:23 AM

So so over everything. Over work, over uni, over life. Friend from when I was little died on Sunday and am just kinda not coping with it. Head all mucked up and just wanting to play Strawberry Gashes all over again.

*grabs coffee and goes looking for a nice quiet spot to sit and rock in. Finds one and sits down then stands up and removes fluffy stuffed animal and sits down again*

~*forever_broken*~ 07-02-2008 01:44 AM

Y'all would not believe the conversation I am having with someone via youtube comments... it's on the video 'The Way She Feels' (great video by Between the Trees)

Heres some of it:

The Other Guy:

people who cut are retarded, they need to grow a pair and comit suicide so they stop making the world worse with their whinning

Me:

What in Gods name is wrong with you?!?!? Good lord talk about ignorant? I'm so glad your life is so easy and you are perfect... you do realize that folks who cut are usually also the last people to 'whine' about any of it..? And that's from studies... folks who cut are often some of the most caring people you'll meet. Good god, really...

The Other Guy:

from studies? OOO WATCH OUT SHES GOT STUDIES ON HER SIDE caring people? they dont even care about themselves, people who cut are human trash and should not be helped

Me:

Hmmm, sorry to hear you are so uncaring yourslef... at least that's how it appears... ah, well, there will always be people like you in the world, I suppose we'll just have to live with it... of course, I could just take my knife to my wrist so y'all wouldn't have to listen to my 'whining'... *shrug*

The Other Guy:

now youre getting it

Me:

Oh… wow… you certainly are a ‘unique’ human being aren’t you..?

The Other Guy

you certainly are a slave to fads and miss guided sympathy arent you?

Me:

I'm sorry..? A fad? LOL if that's all you think there is to cutting you are more ignorant than I thought... misguided sympathy? Thanks I try and keep my cutting as secreat as possible...


The Other Guy:

lol cry MOAR

Me:

I'm sorry what? Don't know if you've heard of the English language but I prefer it when I correspond with others, even those as uneducated as yourself...

The Other Guy:

thats mean i just might cut myself because of you

Me:

Ah, I see...

Well, apply pressure and bandage it...

The Other Guy:

kk wheres the best spot to cut?

Me:

Yeah, that’s not something I’ll tell you… no tip sharing, wouldn’t want you to cut because of me…


Thus endeth...

:crying: suppose I'm asking for as good as I give but seriously!!!

*retreats back to corner with stuffed lamb, and blanket*

~*forever_broken*~ 07-02-2008 08:14 PM

Alright, seems I'm the only one here... more privacy to cry then

Feel like absolute **** :crying: and don't know what to do about it... wish I could just go home and do nothing but I've go work, a meeting for a group project for one of my psych classes, a paper to write, a take-home test to finish and another test to study for... *phew* makes me tired just thinking about it...

*sits in her corner clutching her pillow and stuffed lamb and crys*

God I wish I could do that in real life...

Pomegranate 07-02-2008 08:56 PM

*hugs you Ally whilst you cry* I am sorry things are hard, and I am sorry that I am not in a state to help but I will be thinking of you x

Zedebee 07-02-2008 09:28 PM

*cuddles everybody lots*

MammaMia 08-02-2008 01:39 AM

I feel ****.
Thanks for ruining my day.
Now I shouldn't let it.
=[

Bella_forever 08-02-2008 01:50 AM

*lays in a bed sobbing* I am soooo sick and so fat I hate myself

Jetforce 08-02-2008 07:41 AM

*hugs everybody in the psych ward*

Look after urself ppl xxx

~*forever_broken*~ 08-02-2008 09:15 PM

Feeling a bit better I think... not holding out hope that it will last though... I think it is due mostly to the cutting I did last night... that and I'm feeling a little disconnected today :pinch: like... not exactly num... but just... existing... just... here..? I don't know...

Kahlia1981 09-02-2008 06:15 AM

Hugs everyone.

So dissociated/depersonalised. Want to cut or scream or bash head against wall. Let me out....

*sits listening to iPod while cuddling teddy bear*

MammaMia 10-02-2008 04:41 PM

I feel werid.

Pomegranate 10-02-2008 06:47 PM

*hugs everyone* xx

YodaBearInterrupted 10-02-2008 10:56 PM

*sits in a corner and listens to his music with a penquin and teddy bear*

I ****ed up again...

Pomegranate 11-02-2008 12:36 AM

*sits and rocks in a corner* xx

Jetforce 11-02-2008 03:22 AM

*hugs carole*

hang in there...i'm sure u weren't a **** g/f, i bet he loved u lots and i'm sorry to the sad news...plz look after urself there and u know where to find me if u need to chat xxx

Kahlia1981 11-02-2008 04:16 AM

want to scream out .... want to cry ... but that's too weak

guess i'll just sit and rock

~*forever_broken*~ 11-02-2008 05:11 PM

I just want to go home, crawl under my bed, and die... I suck, I'm stupid, and I'm worthless :crying:
I've essentially screwed myself as far as my college careere... I'm supposed to graduate this spring... I'm on academic warning/probation because last quarter (me, barely functional) I dropped a class and then hardly went to my other two... So I didn't have enough credits for financial aid. And I got poor grades in the other two... If I don't do well this term I lose my financial aid and am kicked out. And I just got such a low score on a test that I can't retake it...and so I fail the class...

*curls up in corner and sobs, waiting, hoping to die*

MammaMia 11-02-2008 10:04 PM

I feel better, just bit in a bit of pain from today, cus been so busy :)

Lora 11-02-2008 10:58 PM

*sits in corner wrapped in duvet and cries uncontrollably*

Someone help me please

So_Lost_And_Alone 12-02-2008 12:24 PM

Hey everyone,
Can i please be admitted? need to get away from real life!!!
*big cuddles to Lora* you ok Hun?

~*forever_broken*~ 12-02-2008 06:23 PM

I just wish it would all go away... but I don't think it ever will... I'm stuck, it never really gets better...

*sits in her corner, arms wraped around her knees, crying quietly*

I just wish I didn't want to die so often... that it would either happen or that the desire to die would just go away... damnit :crying:

~*forever_broken*~ 12-02-2008 08:17 PM

*hugs *~putridangle~**
Sorry hunni, wish I had more...

Pomegranate 13-02-2008 04:57 AM

**** **** bollocks.....another load of stitches to get tomorrow :( *sits and cries* x

Jetforce 13-02-2008 02:03 PM

*hugs emma*

Look after urself there...try and keep busy and avoid those urges if u can...

*sends u some keep safe teddy bear* hehe

xxx

Snorkmaiden 13-02-2008 03:31 PM

I think I have "****" or "please treat me like ****" scrawled across my face. I read my bf's texts in his phone. He cheated on me xmas eve so i'm a little paranoid. Turns out all the weelks following xmas when I was goin thro hell n hacking bits of me up on a daily basis, he was having some VERY explicit phone sex with this bird from the pub. Says they never actually did anything and it was just a bit of fun. Well his bit of fun has resulted in my bedroom bein trashed and my leg bein shredded and possibly left some debris on there too. Doesn't feel right. Anyway... thats my rant so if no one minds I'm just gonna take my fluffy dragon and sit and rock for a while under a table.

*hugs anyone who needs it*

*crawls under table and rocks*

Pomegranate 13-02-2008 09:45 PM

Back from A+E having been made to sit on obs ward for hours just to be assessed and told I don't seem depressed and just keep taking meds. Part of me wanted to be admitted...but I want and need to test my limits more before that can happen. *takes teddy bear and cries*

MammaMia 13-02-2008 10:02 PM

-hugs everyone lots-

I'm so sad, why today, when things are sooo good

l.e.g.o 14-02-2008 09:08 PM

hey all!
sorry ive not been around much alot of stuff has been happening and well yeah not good times...
anyway hugs to all new and old
xxxxxxxxx

MammaMia 15-02-2008 12:34 AM

I could do without being lied to about massive things. (You may know what I'm on about)

Also, having my dad cancel our regular meeting just because he's ill, yet he's taken me out several times before whilst feeling off. Why not today? Just because it's Valatine's day..the first one apart? If so, you chose that. You seriously didn't have to walk out on us. I know I shouldn't take sides...but sometimes I can't help myself! Also I'd do anything to have him come home. Yet I feel certain things are his fault cus he chose to walk out on us. He didn't even ****ing try with my mum, he mus love her, you don't just be with someone for that long and then stop loving them :'( I know he was depressed and all so I know kinda how he feels and yet at same time...I'm just not happy with all this damage he's caused.
Sorry rambling on now :(

*cries*

Ileana 16-02-2008 03:11 AM

I'm spending the night in here, maybe the weekend. Just because I need more sleep than what I usually get. I'll be under heavy covers, occasionally peeking through.

So_Lost_And_Alone 16-02-2008 01:02 PM

i'm checkin in again not doing so great

pixie*lyssie 16-02-2008 01:50 PM

*bangs head against wall*

Bella_forever 17-02-2008 05:59 AM

*reads in the corner crying*

Seraphsigh 17-02-2008 06:33 AM

checking in, because i know for a fact that i will get drugs tomorrow and do them and then want to kill myself.

Jetforce 17-02-2008 02:14 PM

**HUGS u all who checked in**

Do look after urself guys and PM me if u wanna chat about things

Take care
xx
j

raining_inmyhead 17-02-2008 04:13 PM

la la la la la la la... and i feel rubbish and ill... la la la...

Bella_forever 18-02-2008 02:41 AM

*sits with books in the corner confused and dazed*

Pomegranate 18-02-2008 11:28 AM

*sits and cries* I asked my ex to hit me last night when I was upset and he did, but he had to be pulled off me to get him to stop. Why do I do these things?

Jetforce 18-02-2008 12:50 PM

*hugs emma*

U okies there? I hope he didn't do anything harmful to u

Anyway, look after urself there xx

Louise 18-02-2008 12:53 PM

*cries* sits in the corner and rocks back and four scared

Jetforce 18-02-2008 02:41 PM

Hey Louise

Wat's up? Feel free to PM me if u wanna chat

xx

MammaMia 18-02-2008 09:57 PM

*hugs everyone*

I feel so shitty atm =[

budsmoker 19-02-2008 12:40 AM

*comes in quietly, sists in a quiet corner and cries self to sleep*

Kahlia1981 19-02-2008 12:51 AM

Am still here. Just want to stop. Cut again cos I'm such a failure and my dad is such a ********. I'd like to strip the skin off my wrists and get a fresh lot put on so that I can damage it again. To bleed forever.

I don't want to feel like I need to die any more. I just want to either do it or get better. Even though I know I can never get better.

*Hugs everyone who needs it*

*Sneaks outside and grabs puppy-dog and cuddles up on the floor with it*

MammaMia 19-02-2008 01:03 AM

I'm crying so hard.
*hides*

Jetforce 19-02-2008 09:34 AM

Wat's up Helen? *gives u a box of kleenex tissues*

*hugs everybody else* Look after urself ppl!


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