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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Auragrace 30-06-2016 01:20 PM

Crap. And my arms killing me

Kahlia1981 01-07-2016 04:54 AM

Hi again everyone.

Really not feeling good at the moment. Very strong urges to attack myself. I have no idea why I'm even alive on this earth any more.

Before the darkness completely takes me over *safe hugs* to anyone who needs (or wants) them.

Doikers 01-07-2016 10:37 AM

*Safe Hugs Auragrace*

Kahlia , I'm sorry you are so low *Safe Hugs* Back at you , I NEED them <3

Kathryn_Anna 01-07-2016 03:41 PM

*safe hugs* Mark.

How is everyone?

Doikers 01-07-2016 04:20 PM

*Safe Hugs Kathryn * How are you hun?

Kathryn_Anna 01-07-2016 04:57 PM

I'm struggling. My to do list is overwhelming. My emotions are all over the place. I've not been myself all week. I've just wanted to sleep and not do much of anything.

Doikers 01-07-2016 07:43 PM

Can you break you to list down into small chunks , Kathryn ?

Auragrace 01-07-2016 10:37 PM

I Want To Jump Off A Bridge

Doikers 02-07-2016 12:47 PM

Oh , Auragrace, I'm so sorry you feel so dreadful *Safe Hugs*

Auragrace 02-07-2016 09:28 PM

My family hate me. I don't know why. The last 2 weeks have been hell. I don't know how much longer I can handle it

Doikers 03-07-2016 05:54 AM

Have you a MH Pro or a Friend to talk to , Auragrace?

Doikers 05-07-2016 08:16 AM

How are you all ?

Marshmallow. 05-07-2016 04:19 PM

S'happennin' guys?
Just checking in, it's been a while.
I've just been given a diagnosis of BPD and still just trying to process that along with work stress.

How is everyone else doing?

Doikers 06-07-2016 09:01 AM

Hey Ashley , I have that Diagnosis too *Safe Hugs*

Doikers 06-07-2016 10:06 AM

I am so Anxious . . . .

Marshmallow. 06-07-2016 06:06 PM

It's horrible having a diagnosis. I mean I obviously wanted to know what was going on but now I know it's like this inside that won't go away. I mean you can't change your personality right? It can't get better.

*hugs* what's making you so anxious Mark?

Eir 06-07-2016 07:31 PM

The wonderful thing about psychiatry is its guess work and check boxes, and often quite subjective.
What are the traits that got you assigned BPD? I'm diagnosed bipolar with psychotic symptoms, but have run the gamut of diagnoses. Depression, anxiety, dissociative disorder, BPD (solely because I self harmed, a rather lazy clinician) and have been investigated for schizophrenia and schizo-affective disorder.
They decided I wasn't schizophrenic the first time by giving me a low dosage of a drug to see if it would help. I lied and said it did ( for "reasons", it paranoia) even though I was not taking it as ordered. The second psych said I wasn't because I was too self aware.
There is no concrete physical measurable indicators of mental health issues. They have theories as to which neurotransmitters are involved, as proved by medication effects, and a couple of interesting studies about brain activity and imaging, but no actual way of measuring these in a way to concretely link them to particular mental health problems.
Personality disorders are some of the most problematic, as you have said, they are based on maladaptive personality traits. Which when it comes to treatment and prognosis can be daunting, as personality is the core of self. But there are some therapies that may help restructure these traits to more positive incarnations.
My advice is read up on BPD, from a clinical perspective. Decide for yourself if it truly fits. If not, seek a second opinion. If it does, ask for referral to BPD specific therapy. As far as I'm aware, it requires a rather different approach than other issues, and tends to get dumped in the too hard basket because of this.
You are not your diagnosis. You are not the "BPD-person". You are a person who may have BPD. You are also a thousand other things. Your diagnosis is a name for a demon you have fought, will fight. It gives you an idea on what weapons you need in your arsenal to defeat it. Even if it continues to plague you, it isn't you. You are more than the sum of your parts.
I think we all go through some level of hating having a diagnosis, usually after a period of desparately wanting a name for what what ails us. I remember going through several periods where I hated it, as I felt it closed certain doors. Bipolar and psychosis are with me, they affect me daily to varying degrees. Sometimes actively and directly, other times the memory of them or others' knowledge or perception of the disorder inflicts the negative effects. Sometimes I'll play on it, and end up feeling ashamed for doing so. I now have a truce with it. I accept it but I try not to let it define me. And I try to fight the misconceptions of others whilst trying to keep my head above water.
Sorry if this sounds rantish, I think I went off on a tangent. But I think the core of what I'm trying to say is don't let the diagnosis get you thinking that's all there is to you, or to BPD.

On myself, I'm doing really badly at getting back on meds, which right now is problematic to say the least.
*safe hugs if anyone still wants them*

Kahlia1981 07-07-2016 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eir (Post 4045244)
The wonderful thing about psychiatry is its guess work and check boxes, and often quite subjective.
There is no concrete physical measurable indicators of mental health issues. They have theories as to which neurotransmitters are involved, as proved by medication effects, and a couple of interesting studies about brain activity and imaging, but no actual way of measuring these in a way to concretely link them to particular mental health problems.

So very true Annie. In reality they don't really understand more than about 10% of what the brain actually does - and most of that is guesswork.

*safe hugs to everyone who wants/needs them*

Really down right now and would love to either hurt myself or die. So frustrated about not being able to get out of this damn wheelchair and uni is just about to start back again. Feeling extremely overwhelmed and completely unable to cope.

I'm just going to hide and cry myself asleep again tonight.

Doikers 07-07-2016 03:25 PM

*Safe Hugs Ashley , Annie (May I call you that?) and Kahlia*

Eir 07-07-2016 05:01 PM

Yup (to the Annie bit). I'm a bit off. Terrible day at work. But on the bright side I remembered meds
*squidges Kahlia and Mark and Ashley and anyone else who wants it*
Placement is looming. Homesickness and warmth and learning and assignments. Need to find my hinges before I go.


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