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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

hannahs04 02-12-2011 11:22 PM

That's lovely! :)

Batmansx_xTeddy 03-12-2011 12:02 AM

*curls up under blanket*
Well today has sucked so bad and I have spent most of the day being angry at myself and crying which sucks I hate crying.

Billy! 03-12-2011 12:04 AM

*Hides in the denial tent*

frenchhorn 03-12-2011 12:07 AM

*hugs Charlie* whats up?

Hi atomicx xrocket *hugs if yuo want* I'm sorry you've had such a hard day.

Billy! 03-12-2011 12:22 AM

*Hugs Oliver* Just feeling guilty for something which I really shouldn't feel guilty for.

frenchhorn 03-12-2011 12:33 AM

*hugs Charlie*

hannahs04 03-12-2011 12:34 AM

Can i join in the hugs?

*hugs* << for those that need one... I know what it's like to need a hug...

frenchhorn 03-12-2011 12:38 AM

*hugs Hannah*

Batmansx_xTeddy 03-12-2011 12:40 AM

*hugs* thanks blah today is just a bad day I hope I will feel better tomorrow but I am just stuck here with my bad thoughts for now.

hannahs04 03-12-2011 12:46 AM

Thanks for the hugs....they're needed, and appreciated.

Mousie 03-12-2011 02:36 AM

Would like to take a little shelter here for a while... just got out of the local ward a a little over a week ago and I'm having trouble readjusting to being out here in this big scary world again. It just is so much simpler and easier to deal with in the ward than it is now. ugh. I can't do this.
*curls up and cries*

Reki 03-12-2011 04:46 AM

*curls up in a corner with a blanket*

Now I just wish I could stop thinking...

Doikers 03-12-2011 11:17 AM

Morning Hug all :)

hannahs04 03-12-2011 06:57 PM

Good morning

m0nk 03-12-2011 09:06 PM

racing thoughts and misfit emotions. and generally bad feelings. and constipated thoughts.
 
[20:31:09] <Miencer> You should take your razors and throw them away for your own safety
[20:31:27] <@m0nk> i cant
[20:31:37] <@m0nk> it would feel like im breaking a part of myself
[20:32:06] <Miencer> nods, im glad we see eye to eye :)
[20:32:21] <@m0nk> and i would never even be myself anymore. i need things to keep in touch with myself.
[20:32:31] <@m0nk> even though i dont cutted for along im
[20:32:32] <@m0nk> etime
[20:32:36] <@m0nk> time*
[20:32:37] <@m0nk> ..
[20:32:59] <Miencer> yeah agreed
[20:33:41] <@m0nk> its the feeling of a dissapointed women. and the way she sees things through our eyes is the way we self injure

thats something i said on irc. but still i havent cut for about since before last time i was in the ward wich is about one to two months ago.
i feel so down i cant sit still. and i got the urging feeling in my forehead that something stupid is gonna happen. i didnt throw away my razors theyr'e still ontop of the mirror in the bathroom. i. like i have no friends. but when i did. i owe them so much for beeing my friends at theat time. but now theyre lost cause i was thrown like a snowball across(rather north) back to my birthtown. and still i have this emotions that tells me when someone wants me to move or they are gonna change something in the way i live im gonna do something stupid. all i'm saying is i dont know what tomorrow will bring therefore i rest in the nu(nowtime*present*) and i just expect myself to get better day by day like my mother told me. but it isnt just something that drags me into the wall and voices telling me to shove off. screaming and nagging and telling me where to walk or not. i know the voices have always been there. but from my experience the voices is only your braing trying to talk from a different perspective to itself since your mind doesnt have a mouth. and mouths can are and will always be missinterpreted cause its the only defence for a better tomorrow we have. i mean. where the **** is the ppl that want to talk to me? aaand (just remembered) when talking to the few ppl i talk to i feel they hate me and is gonna knock me out wit a horrendous force. im just afraid i will start to nosebleed again. cause it means im getting sicker. i've regained some strength lingering here i live in my town but, i visualise and dreams a whole lot. if i dream something stupid it means either im gonna have a slip up like loose my balance and fall on my ass or i might just hurt myself. but since i have no friends like nearly everybody i know i went to class (high school) with lives in this town but noone of them talks to me. or even says hi when they see me. i had a few nods here and there. but nothing. i have alot of ppl i cannot communicate with over the internet that i remember from back when #alt.suicide.bus.stop was alive. and i literally knew that someone was doing the right thing bringing alot of ppl that shared the same emoticons and did the same thing like hurt themselves and it transformed to this (my theory about it)=(*c";) anyway. i have a poem for you again if its ok:)

Don't let my smile fool you,
It's only a diguise.
My life is like lightning,
and rained filled skies.

Don't let my laugh fool you,
I just am scared to tell the truth.
Don't assume my life is perfect,
Until you have your proof.

Don't let my expression fool you,
I just can't show you how I feel.
My heart has always been broken,
And I doubt it will ever heal.

Don't let my easygoing spirit fool you,
Don't think that I won't care.
Because when I need you the most,
I'm expecting you to be there.

m0nk 03-12-2011 09:09 PM

i've been half way across the world looking for someone to communicate with but when i get back home, what do you think i get. nothing but rumours and **** that fills my head with the wrong things. its true there isnt love out there for me. i need to witness that someone would care to join me for a afternoon talking and having fun over a hot choco (koko) or some food. something we all share with eachother. :Gasp: and i feel like life is a dance but there is no roses cause someone used the flamethrower on them and the thorns got thrown into my back. it hurts inside without someone near.

m0nk 03-12-2011 09:15 PM

havent been here in a while since im dynamic in what i do. like i do stuff then i feel what that brought me and it changes my mood on certain things and it pushes me in a different direction and then the cycle starts over again. i can be very responsive or not responsive at all. it just gives me good feeling beeing slumbering here. *takes five gingerbread boxes and places it on the table along with a six pack of christmas drinks* *cant find table* * calls for help to find table*

hannahs04 03-12-2011 09:42 PM

*drags table over*

m0nk 03-12-2011 11:49 PM

*puts christmas drinks six pack on table; puts five boxes of gingerbread on the table*

Louise 04-12-2011 12:16 AM

comes in goes round everyone and gives them a hug

Doikers 04-12-2011 12:51 AM

I cannot cope

hannahs04 04-12-2011 03:12 AM

((hugs))

Me too :(

Sorry i'm not much help :/

risenfromperdition 04-12-2011 05:04 AM

*hides in corner under blanket*

hannahs04 04-12-2011 06:34 AM

*wanders in and curls up a dark.safe corner*

((hugs)) for all who wants/needs one.

Doikers 04-12-2011 10:44 AM

*Morning Hugs Y'all* :)

one_step_closer 04-12-2011 11:25 AM

Morning.

hannahs04 04-12-2011 04:04 PM

G'mornin :)

Doikers 04-12-2011 05:08 PM

Hey Hannah :)

Billy! 04-12-2011 05:31 PM

*Cuddles everyone*

hannahs04 04-12-2011 05:47 PM

Hey-ya. How'r

hannahs04 04-12-2011 05:50 PM

*How're y'all?

Billy! 04-12-2011 05:52 PM

I'm good thanks, you?

Antebellum 04-12-2011 06:09 PM

*hugs everyone*

I haven't been in here in a while.

*curls up in the corner*

hannahs04 04-12-2011 07:04 PM

I'm hangin in.

Cazki 05-12-2011 01:56 AM

*Hugs everyone*

caiden 05-12-2011 07:06 AM

*HUGE HUGS FOR EVERYONE!* just checking in again, letting you all know that im still somehow managing to hang in there and keep myself outof the hosital lock up for now. not doin too good today. been expriencing unusual severe manic episode, severe agitation and irritability, excessive energy, racing thoughts, bad issues wth the voices again the last few days, and i feel like my marbles are being scattered off into every which wild direction they can roll to other than being firmly in place in my head where they belong. i feel like im slowly falling apart, losing touch with reality and my sanity ever so slowly yet a bit more with each day that passes me by. not sure really what to do about everything. scared to talk to my docs about everything because the doctors and nurse practitioners that im currently seeing for my mental heath care and management needs so far (to my knowledge anyways) have no idea, no clue whatsoever that i actually in fact also have multiple personalities along with everything else i have already accepted diagnoses of over the last several years. im afraid they wont understand me, so instead of treating me as they are now im worried they will want to lock me up inpatient in the state mental hospital. if i allowed that i would basically become a guinea pig and test study subject im afraid, because its unusual for someone with my unique condition to be able to be completely consciously aware of all of the other personalities. much less regularly carry on actual conversations between the different personalities and be able to make actual conscious decisions about which personalities will be allowed out, when they can come out, how long they will be allowed to remain out, and what all freedoms exactly they are given while they are out. i doubt anyone will be able to come up with any kind of useful advice or suggestions for my different unique situation. and thats ok. we do still however appreciate all of your support as we struggle through some difficult issues going on in our life. and if there are any of you out there dealing with similiar situations and issues, we sure would really love a chance to speak with you. we think it might help make us feel a little better about things, and make dealing with our issues a little simpler for us if we knew we truly werent alone in our daily struggle with life as we try to maintain an appearance of being normal and able to still be a "normal" functioning member of the society around us in which we live in these days. anyways, thanks all for listening to me ramble on long enough to get that off our mind. i felt i had to tell somebody what is going on or i was going to explode. and unfortunately, out of those few people that ARE actually aware of our conditions and struggles, nobody will be available for us to talk to about anything for at least a few more days. so you will most likely be seeing a lot of us over the next few coming days, and maybe even slowly get to know us a little. anyways, i hope all of you take very good care of yourselves, and as always, try your very best to stay as truly safe as is humanly possible and within your abilities to have any control over until i am next able to come check in and check on how everyone is doing. thanks for just being here for us. you may not realize it sometimes, but you are truly appreciated and we are ever so grateful that you are here with us in the first place. we dont see any way we would be able to be as highly stable and functioning as we have been able to manage if it were not for us having all the help we receive from all of you wonderful people. try to keep your spirits up, and just remember one thing. when times come that seem to be your darkest, you are still not alone. there will always be at least one of us right there beside you to help shine a little bit of light to help lead the way through difficult days.

Doikers 05-12-2011 11:27 AM

*Hugs Y'all*

m0nk 05-12-2011 11:25 PM

*cleans up crisps and crunches on the floor after the gingerbread party*

Doikers 06-12-2011 11:22 AM

*Hugs Monk*

PoisonedApple 06-12-2011 11:13 PM

*sneaks in and leave hugs, things to nom and a heap of blankies, pillows and plushies*

Billy! 06-12-2011 11:46 PM

*Curls up in corner.*

Antebellum 07-12-2011 01:59 AM

How is everyone?

Batmansx_xTeddy 07-12-2011 11:25 AM

Hey everyone sadly I was a bit anti social the last 2 days or so but I am back now. Today was a good day and I have started working out and trying to eat 3 healthy meals a day but I didn't realize how hard it would be to finish one bagel after not eating much or at all for the last few months. Eating that whole bagel took effort but I managed to although I did end up skipping lunch. I didn't self harm today which I am happy about although I did get the urge to but tried to distract myself. Tonight I have been going back and forth a bit about whether I will eat 3 meals a day or not which sucks but oh well I am still in a relatively good mood. So anyway I just thought I would update peoples on how I am doing.

How is everyone else doing today or tonight depending on where you live?

Doikers 07-12-2011 12:38 PM

*Hugs Charlie*

*Hugs Antebelum*

*Hugs Atomic Rocket*

frenchhorn 07-12-2011 03:06 PM

*hugs you all*

Doikers 07-12-2011 04:21 PM

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Oliver*

Billy! 07-12-2011 04:35 PM

*Hugs everyone* How are you all? I'm being a good girl and trying to distract myself in positive ways instead of being a negative nelly :)

hannahs04 07-12-2011 08:04 PM

Hello! Good for you! How's that workin for ya?

Billy! 07-12-2011 08:21 PM

Hey :) It's actually going ok, I'm printing positive images and quotes off the internet and am going to make a scrapbook :) I'm Also going to try and think of things I like about myself and put them in there too. How're you?

frenchhorn 07-12-2011 09:12 PM

thats a really good idea Charlie :)


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