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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PoisonedApple 31-03-2010 06:05 PM

*huggles Hayley*
Yeah me too but if I don't limit it and only do a certain amount at a time I go overboard and burn out on it lol.
I'm up to 3 garbage bags of stuff to donate now though (and the bag of stuff I have J for her little one). It's so odd having an infant in the house again though.. today I had to get an espresso cuz I kept waking up with the little one last night lol

PoisonedApple 31-03-2010 06:05 PM

I had more to say on the matter but if I kept going on that I'd never get work done today lol.

SoMuchMore 31-03-2010 06:29 PM

*cuddles april* Im glad u didnt have to go to the hospital. And its not stupid to put of SI until you do something else, its a distraction so maybe the urges will pass or lessen, plus, SI can be draining so u may not get anything done if u do that first (But please try not to do it at all..)

*hugs mark* lack of privacy sucks.. Try not to SI, I know its hard.

*hugs helen* you are not whining, and if u r its okay b/c we all vent about things here. I hope that you and ur friends are alright. And you are a strong person.

*hugs hayley* Thanks for the individual hugs! lol. How r u today?

*hugs kahlia and crimson*

I want to SI. I want to get rid of every part of me that feels anything at all. Im so tired of feeling torn between thoughts in my head. I want to make it stop. But im not sure it ever will really. Maybe im just being stupid..

one_step_closer 31-03-2010 06:45 PM

*hugs everyone* I really want to die. I wish that my brother wasn't around so that I would be free to kill myself.

PoisonedApple 31-03-2010 06:48 PM

*huggles onestepcloser and laura*

MammaMia 31-03-2010 08:02 PM

Wow loads of posts *gives everyone a massive cuddle*

Don't think I'll be talking to my best friend tonight. Meh. My other best friend is ignoring my texts & calls. Am worried about her, am wondering if she to hospital after all. Maybe I should text her aunt, but not sure whether to.

Fed up of today. ****ing fed of everything. Think getting a ****ing migraine now :@ Stuipd website won't ****ing let me apply for something, well it will, it's just being a ****ing ********.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *hits walls*

PoisonedApple 31-03-2010 08:03 PM

*huggles helen and pets hair*

shadowedsoul 31-03-2010 08:55 PM

walks in and curls up in to a ball.iam worried about a
friend,she has dissapeared again.which means she either
done somthing stupiud again.or its her health,just wish
she would get online so I would know she is okay.meh
work is taking the piss take. stupid rules meh =\

Doikers 31-03-2010 09:04 PM

*Hugs the ward again*
*Ward promtly grows arms and hugs me back*

I cut , not great news but I knew it was coming , it's not very serious , I'll be ok physically .
Mentaly all I want to do is Eat/cut again/eat/cut , I've put on weight and gained scars :( I'm going on a diet when I get back to my flat after Easter , I've already figured it all out , I'll ask you guys your opinions when I start.

I watched the movie "Orphan" tonight thats unnerving but good though , gotta take the dog out for a walk in the dark now . I must have paused the movie5-6 times , hard to concentrate , who am I kidding bringing books to read ?

MammaMia 31-03-2010 09:08 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Well managed to make that website work and finished my application thing :) My best friend who was ignoring my texts & calls has text me a few times, am epically worried though. Not sure what to do :/ I'm in a bad mood with her at the same time. My other best friend hasn't text me, but not too concerned about that. Am a little.

*cuddles everyone again*

PoisonedApple 31-03-2010 11:03 PM

*possible SA and DV triggers*
 
*huggles everyone*
Todays lunch time was eventful... went to/on a march against domestic violence/sexual assault. It was cold but I stayed through the whole thing. I let no excuses stand in my way of going today. Kind of proud of that. Listening to the speakers and Alaska's statistics kinda left me on a bit of a low though...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : *triggers for SA and DV*
till today I didn't know living my my town I'm 3x more likely to be raped than in the continental U.S. and 5x more likely if in Fairbanks. And in violence and Sexual Assault my state has the highest rate in the country... by a landslide. and that's the least of the bad... *sigh*
But I still feel good about going before now events in the wintery time I let myself give excuses like it being to cold or having to miss work or a fear of going alone and not knowing people... etc etc... today I went anyways.

MammaMia 31-03-2010 11:08 PM

*cuddles*

She's not answering. I'm scared she's gone :'( :'(

Kahlia1981 31-03-2010 11:27 PM

*huggles everybody and thanks them for their replies*

Still feeling really shitty. Have a GP appointment today. *sigh*

*curls up in a corner of the room rocking back and forward chanting "it can't rain all the time"*

MammaMia 31-03-2010 11:29 PM

*cuddles with Kahlia* It can't rain all the time :)

SoMuchMore 31-03-2010 11:48 PM

*cuddles kahlia* Im sorry that u still are feeling badly

*hugs helen* Glad that you heard from ur friends.. although that one post u made awhile ago didnt exactly sound good. Hope everything is alright.

*hugs crimson* im glad u went out to ur lunch, thats good, even if they statistics left u feeling low... I think its good that you got out for a bit.

*hugs mark* sry to hear that u cut again. It sucks when you cant concentrate, but keep trying to look up. Eventually things will start to get easier.. hopefully.. right? I think so, they have too.

*cuddles jill and lindsay*

All i want to do is party right now.. prolly has something to do with it being 80 degrees in March. Its great... too bad its only wednesday, not exactly my prime going out time...

Anyway, the urges have calmed a bit since this morning... heres to hoping they stay down.. although i sorta doubt it.

MammaMia 31-03-2010 11:52 PM

*cuddles Laura*

My best friend's finally home & safe. Thank god. Was horrible :/ Her aunt's texting & being really nice aha. I feel guilty :S

*curls up and rocks*

SoMuchMore 01-04-2010 03:28 AM

*cuddles helen* im glad ur friend is safe. Hope you are alright hun.

*hugs everyone else*

MammaMia 01-04-2010 03:39 AM

Not really. Still fighting away.

When will I ever learn to not read other people's emails & texts? Especially those who are in my family. Meh, making me think and yet making me sad in a strange way.

Kahlia1981 01-04-2010 09:33 AM

*huggles everybody*

Had a really bad time at the doctors. He seriously went off in a rage at me about me not being able to take ANY narcotics EVER because they would ALL interact with EVERYTHING, and that it was MY FAULT ... etc, etc, ETC. I walked out of there nearly in tears and ready to friggin kill myself. He gave me a script for Brufen (seriously wtf! - I mean it's only the equivalent of taking 2 ibuprofen tablets at once!!). Oh and he told me that my physio at the hospital will only be treating me until the 5th of May. Then apparently I'm on my own. Regardless of the face that I have this new issue with my shoulder ...

So over it. So damn over it ALL.

*hugs everyone then runs into a dark corner and tries to hide*

Scarletdreamer 01-04-2010 12:34 PM

Wow, a lot of posts... :) That's a good thing though...

To go back a bit, Hels, I don't think you are whinging at all. *cuddles* We all deserve to have a bit of a rant now and again.

Crimson, no wonder you were in a rant-y mood!! *squishes*

Kahlia, I'm sorry that your GP wasn't of any more help... that's rubbish. :( How are you doing now?... still upset/frustrated/angry? *hugs gently*

Mark, I wish I could help you not SI... I wish we could be there IRL for each other, to keep each other distracted from SI'ing by talking or walking or whatever, I don't know. Just SOMETHING. :( Because it makes me sad that you're so triggered, and I dunno, probably makes other people sad that I want to SI so much too. In fact, I wish that we could ALL be there IRL for each other...

I am still feeling rubbishy... and it's hit me now that I present my senior sem paper in 26 days and I've only got about 2 sentences done on it and it's supposed to be 15-20 pages long!!!! :crying: I feel like such ****. I'm so incapable, so incompetant. I just want to play WoW, read for FUN, and sleep. I am so over uni. I am so sick of it. I just want to enjoy myself... but I can't, I'm miserable all the time, and I want to DIE.

:(

And today I've got to be at uni for a longish amount of time... but I did find out a few days ago that I've been chosen for an outstanding psychology student and get to attend a dinner on campus for it... this is what the email said: You are being honored by the Psychology Department for your outstanding academic achievement as an Academic Excellence 4th Year student. I only got a 3.8 last term, and have a 3.805 overall... which is not that great... so I don't get it. And I don't have anyone on campus that I can tell because whoever I tell might get jealous or angry... I don't know... am I making any sense?

I need to email my pastor again. I feel bad that I asked for his advice and then just kind of rejected it... I don't know... I feel so dumb. And so ****ing close to killing myself. :( So triggered!!!!

*hides*


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