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HEEEE Lindsay thats great news ! Go you ! *Hugs*
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Well done Lindsay, so proud of you.
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-sits rubbing eyes crying-
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*tackle hugs JK, Mark, and Laura* :D
Good to see you around again, JK, we missed you!! I'm sorry that reality is hitting hard again; anything you care to talk about about that? *cuddles* Mark, how's your weekend going? *cuddles* Hopefully well... :) And yey for comandeering the laptop!! lol. :D Laura, I'm sorry that being in your hometown again is rough... :( Why did your dad want you home sooner than planned? (sorry if that's too nosy) *squishes* Hannah, I wish the weather here were nice... it was yesterday, but it rained overnight and is now all wet out. Grrrr. :( WoW did take my mind off things, pretty well, although I am sick and feeling it... ugh. (I'm sorry if I complain too much about being ill, it's just that I HATE it... lol.) Hopefully you get a lot done today. :) *huggles* Kahlia, love your soapboxes as well!! :) *cuddles* So don't feel bad. At all. :) *waves at Owen, cuddles everyone else that I've missed* |
*hugs Lindsay* Well done. Really proud of you on your achievement. I hope that you are proud of yourself. Remember, every time that you say "no" to SI is an achievement, a "win". I hope you can keep going, but even if you slip, you know that you can make one day again, because you have managed it before. *hugs you again*
Sorry for my lack of individual replies. I'm a bit scatty at the moment and really only able to retain bits and pieces of information. I'm trying to respond where I can, but I just can't make things make sense, so I'm only responding when I can get what I want to say to come across so that it makes sense. I really don't mean any offence by it. I'll cover this more in my own thread, but my friend - the one whose daughter destroyed my monitor - has been pretty much rendered homeless. We offered for her to stay here tonight, but she managed to make arrangements with her estranged husband which she thought would be better as the kids would have their own beds. It's going to make for a crowded day tomorrow. Especially as my housemate and I have a meeting with an Advocate to try and get some Legal help in regards to my medical situation. My "head" situation is not good. Mood is severely low. Strong urges towards both SI and suicide. I don't know if it is reactive/environmental or psychiatric. My sense this time is that it is environmental. There has just been so much happening since it started to develop and then worsen. I don't know. Maybe sometimes things have to be tested to the point of destruction. *sigh* *offers hugs/safe gifts of support/care to all, then disappears into a dark corner under a huge pile of duvets* |
*hugs everyone lots & lots*
*jumps on JK* I've missed you so much. Hope you're sleeping well & it totally suck when reality hits you hard again :( *jumps on Hayley aswell* I know you were in yesterday but I don't think I managed to say anything to anyone individually really. Hope today's going better than you expected. I didn't sleep too well last night either so can sympathise. *hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry you're feeling so bad sweetheart, it really sucks I know :( *hugs Julie* I'm sorry you're not doing too great either. Hope you have a better day tomorrow. *hugs Hannah* Hope you're getting out in the sunshine whilst doing you to do list :P *hugs Lindsay* Yay on the one day of no self harm, try keep it up :D *hugs Laura* Sorry being at home isn't making you very happy :( *hugs Heather* Your parents suck, please be careful if you're wanting to lose weight. Do it healthily :( *hugs April lots* Right...think that's everyone covered, wow haven't done an individual replies like that in forever. |
is anyone around?
*sits in the corner* |
I'm around Emma if you're still here :)
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*looks sulky* can't do individual replies right now. want to, but i havn't the time, or a helpful husband.
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^^^ meh, i should control my temper, whoops. sorry all.
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*huggles everyone in the ward who wants huggles, and leaves pressies for those who don't, then curls up in a corner and hides in shame*
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*cuddles Kat* What's up, love?
And I spy a Laura!! *cuddles* |
*cuddles JK* aw im sorry that reality is hitting hard again... I wish that it wasn't. Hope that you are managing to stay safe though.
*hugs kat* you don't need to be sorry hun. How r u doing? *hugs lindsay* well done! *hugs helen* How's it going today? *hugs mark* How is the weekend going? *hugs april* My dad wanted me to come home sooner than planned b/c he didnt like that i was only coming home for a week. I guess he missed me or something, which is nice.. i just hate being here.. It sends me backwards, makes me feel like i did back a few years ago. Anyway.. How r u doing today hun? OH AND I SPY YOU! :-) *hugs kahlia* It sounds like things are really stressful for you right now. I hope that you manage to stay safe from those urges. Oh and Thanks about my signature! I think its very appropriate to where i am at the moment, always hanging on for people. *hugs emma* Hope that you are okay. Feel free to talk in here if you need to. *hugs hannah* glad that you slept okay. Hope that you are able to get things done today! *hugs heather* you are not a fail at life hun. Im sorry that your parents are giving you a hard time about things, that's awful. I hate it when they do that. That was a good tip about the beach that hannah gave tho, about the sarongs. I love the beach, but i get really self conscious there too. *hugs julie* Are you feeling any better? I hope so. *waves to owen* *hugs hayley* sorry to hear about your phone. Hope that your day is going okay/good/fantastic lol. Sorry if i missed anyone.. *sets out a basket of cuddles - just in case* |
updated r/v... am not doing well. at all.
pathetic. i don't know why the hell i've been SO angry lately!!! :crying: |
*Hugs fellow wardmates*
It gone quite well this weekend at my parents , I haven't cut all weekend and I DID bring a tool so go me! I'm going back to my flat when my Dad goes to work tomorrow morning, he works in the town I live so , convineient (spelling?) I've been a bit frustrated , lack of privacy issues , even if I shut myself away in my room people come :S so I'm sat on the laptop at the table in the living/dining area with everyone around the T.V. and baby and eating . Hidong in plain sight sort of , I'd be mortified if they all knew I was on a S.I. website talking about S.I...... hmm |
Hi everyone
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*crosses arms at April* NOT pathetic! *cuddles gently*
*hugs mark* YAY! great job on not SI-ing all weekend! *high fives* Lack of privacy issues are so frustrating. Hope that you are able to get some (But not too much) alone time soon! *hugs louise - if its okay* Hi! how r u doing today? |
*hugs Laura* Yes I like hugs, I am so so feeling low. How are you?
*hugs mark* well done on not self harming all weekend. |
*hugs Mark and Laura* Good job on you, Mark, for not SI'ing over the weekend!! Am proud of you too. :)
Laura, I feel pathetic. I really do. My r/v explains all and I know that you read it... thanks... but... I don't know. I really don't. I don't even know what to say. :'( *hugs Louise* Aw, I'm sorry that you're feeling low. Anything we can do to help?? I just want to curl up into a ball in a dark hole and NEVER come out. :'( |
*Hugs Laura and Louise*
Well as for the privacy , when I'm back at my flat tomorrow I'll be alone (I live alone) but I have a couple of appointments one I go too (Volunteering buero , 2nd appointment ,I'm anxious) and in the afternoon my SW is coming. |
*HUGS APRIL*
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*curls up next to Mark & cries, since she can't cry IRL*
:'( |
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*hugs april* |
*hugs april* I sent you a PM. I wont be redundant repeating everything here but you are an amazing person!
*hugs mark* sounds like you have at least a few plans. Hopefully you wont get too anxious about them. *hugs louise* flashbacks are awful :-( I'm sorry you are feeling so low. I am feeling a lot of things right now, so i dont know how i am really. Depends on the moment i guess. I need to start my graduate exam prep course but im not feeling it. I hate standardized tests. |
updated r/v again... :'(
did a few surveys - entered them into survey monkey, i mean - and am extra tired right now. really don't want to go to work tomorrow. :'( my birthday's coming up. i don't want it to come. i don't know why. i just don't. i'm so sick of myself. :crying: |
*cuddles april* I got into trouble with the police yesterday, and i can't believe I let it get that far. My anger got the better of me, and I ended up recieving a police caution for domestic assault :( :S.
I'm so sorry you're having a tough time of things. I wish I could say something magical. *cuddles* I'm gonna read your RV in a bit. *cuddles more* *hugs laura* I think I do need to be sorry, I did a pretty stupid thing, so now I'm not doing great. Feeling very guilty and ashamed, and kinda silly. Still, I managed not to cut..which was impressive given that hubby called out his collegues because I had a kitchen knife and had threatened to slash the care tyres.. Congrats on a good SI-free weekend mark *celebratory cuddle* thats really good! well done. Hi louise, not sure we've met properly, I'm Kat *safe huggles* flashbacks absolutely suck, and i'm sorry you're struggling with 'em at the moment. EDIT: I Spy A Julie |
*hugs April*
*hugs Louise* *Hugs Laura* *Hugs Kat* thanks for the celebratory cuddle!!:-) EDIT:- Sorry I missed this out , just to say that I'm really sorry that so many of us are feeling ...well crap to come straight to the point and although I am BAD at advice I am always willing to listen and will try my best to help you guys . and this is the first time I have said this ,and probably won't get around to answering until tomorrow afternoon UK time but you guys can always PM anytime k? |
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<3 |
i dont wanna do it healthily =\
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*snuggles heather* i think ur beautiful
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EDIT: apologies for the multipost - don't know what happened there! |
Righties, I'm going to have to go bed, because I've got to be on my own in the morning, and i'm still a bit fragile after everything that happened yesterday. I'm not proud of myself for getting a caution, and in a way I'm kinda hurt that my hubby decided that it was a good course of action. I'm not sure I've forgiven him yet, and my heart and mind are going all over the place. I've had 4 mini anxiety attacks today.. and I've only ever had 6 mini attacks like this in my entire life.
Sleep deprivation on top of that wouldn't be a good idea. But I wanna stay and talk, but as there's no one here I guess I can just leave it. *shrugs* it's not as if it matters really. I'm just another invisible person on a keyboard. :( I'm hurting, and I'm ****, complete and utter ****. Pathetic, worthless, stupid, ****.. The following content has been hidden - Reason : TRIGGERS FOR SI SUICIDE
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*cuddles Kat* Sweetie, I wish I knew what to say that could help you... but I'm in somewhat the same mental place you are, so can't help very much. :( Just know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you (but only if that's okay)... *more cuddles* You're not just an "invisible face at a keyboard," you're KAT. :) And you're important to all of us here.
*hides back in her hole* |
*hugs Kat gently* sleep is a good idea hun, take care and take it one day at a time 'k?
*hugs everyone else* my head is a bit chokka today so I don't have the words, but tonight I will try. Thanks for all the replies, and I am thinking about you all, just unable to verbalise any of it just now. Heaps going on for me with selling the marital home, someone in my life who is very keen on a new relationship, stressed out at work, a really busy flat these days and all the noise I'm creating for myself = agggh! My analogy to the psych last time I saw her was a puffer fish, whenever it gets too much my mind "puffers" and I can't think about anything, don't know if any of you can relate to that but I find it helpful to explain where I'm at. Anyway, where I should be at is work, will catch up on you all later, sorry and please take care of yourselves JK xx |
*cuddles april*Your prayers are greatly appriecated, and know that I am praying for you too. infact, I'm proud of myself because I remembered your name in church this morning. *clings* I dont wanna be alone tommorrow. I want to fix my marriage. *cries* I cant believe I did that. So F*****G stupid. Idiotic.
*hugs JK back* *nods* uh-huh, I so need to sleep. EDIT: okay collapsingly tired, :( and hubby is now home and in bed :), so i'm gonna go too now I dont feel like i'm going to be all cold and alone and unsafe. Night lovlies, look after yourselves. |
night kat :)
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G'night Kat, pleasant dreams... and I understand what you mean when you say about being all cold/alone/etc. *cuddles tight* Things WILL be okay. You've got to keep believing that. :)
*cuddles JK* That analogy kind of makes sense to me. :) I hope that your day goes well... try and check in tonight/tomorrow morning (depending on what timezone the reader is in!! lol) and let us know how your day went. *more cuddles* I spy a Kahlia!! *cuddles* How are you, love? I'm still feeling pretty ****, cried and that helped, but I don't know, I'm really struggling and don't know if I can put on a happy face tomorrow at work. I'm really scared too as I didn't finish the surveys. She - my supervisor - is really easy-going but I'm scared she'll think that I wasted my Friday. :-S When I was supposed to be working......... yeah. :( *hides in her hole* |
*cuddles/waves at all*
*hugs April* - Ah, you spotted me! Not doing too brilliantly. I have a meeting with an Advocate in a couple of hours. Really nervous. *bites nails* |
*more cuddles for Kahlia* I hope the meeting goes well... will be thinking of you!!
I also spy a Hels and a Julie!! *cuddles and/or waves* |
*hugs everyone* then sits in the corner with a book
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i want coffee but cba to walk and get it as its cold and rainy [england- take your weather back now please? :P]
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*hides and cries*
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What's up, Hels? *cuddles*
And Heather, I'm sorry that you don't want to walk in the rain to get coffee - can't blame you, haha... *cuddles* *cuddles Louise* How are you doing now? any better than earlier? |
Heather, I want to keep our warmness, except at nights, soooooo stuffy & sticky =[
April, so much :( |
Anything I can help with, sweetie? *holds you and rocks back and forth gently*
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*clings*
I'm thinking about walking away from someone, knowing it'll cause pain, but it's for the best. |
*cuddles all* sorry no individual replies, there has been about 10 pages since I was last here. Don't know why I havn't been here I just havn't, its weird.
I'm sorry so many of you are struggling, my Pm box is always open and I am going to place a massive box of cuddles in the ward :) My life is strange at the moment. I said when I was last on here I had met someone who likes me and I like them, well I'm now going out with them and its great, went for a picnic today with her and her friend and then went to the cinema and then just sat talking this evening, I've never been in a relationship before so its all new to me and very scary, but so good at the same time. However I'm still harming loads, still wanting to OD all the time and only not because I don't have any pills and so I SH to stop myself from buying them. I'm stressing majorly as my recital is in 2 weeks on monday, I'm not sleeping, sister has sent me some really mean texts, mum is hacking me off by sticking up for her. *sits in a corner and contemplates his life* |
oh wow so much going on and I'm afraid I have to be lame and just offer hugs to everyone.
I'm off to Copenhagen for work tomorrow, so may not be around very much, although I'm probably not around much anyway and then I'm going down to see my boyfriend at the weekend and I'm pretty sure there will be very little internet there. I won't have seen him for three weeks, am so looking forward to it, it seems like forever. *hugs Oliver* try to concentrate on the good things, like enjoying spending time with your girl, sorry to hear your family is being ****, try not to listen to them, try not to stress about your recital, take it one day at a time. *hugs Hels* remember to do what's best for you *cuddles* *hugs April* sorry to hear you're struggling so much and I hope work goes okay tomorrow *hugs heather* the weather in england isn't lasting, so where are you where it's raining *hugs Louise* hope you are okay *hugs Khalia* hope your meeting goes okay *hugs Kat* I hope you sleep well and things feel a bit more manageable tomorrow *hugs Julie* how are you? *hugs JK* wow does sound like you have a lot to take up your mind. I hope you sleep well and work goes okay and things start to work themselves out. *hugs Laura* good luck prepping, hope things are ok *hugs Mark* yay for a good weekend and whoop whoop! for not SIing hope tomorrow goes okay *hugs Lindsay and Hayley and Emma* Got pretty much everything done and got into the sun too, hope I have everything tomorrow. Am trying not to stress about it or my interview on Friday, ah well, we will see, indeed we will. sleep well or those in the other hemisphere/time zones leaves fresh doughnuts and orange juice and a random collection of magazines. |
im in new jersey in US lol.
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*snuggles oliver if want*
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