Julie You are not selfish. *Gives Gentle Hugs*

Same end of the earth I m in Australis welll the western side

I can totally empathise with that Kahlia ^

Oliver , I feel I'm a loner too , I have 2 friends IRL and I haven't heard from 1 since he called me Christmas day , I'm really worried about him , but point is before I was in hospital last year I had no friends at all then I met these awesome people who are totally accepting of me and all my problems at the age of 29 . You will so meet people who see you for the kind person that you are you just have to beleive that :)

April , personally I think the 2nd (Short) haircut will look great on you , I'm no expert but I think its very pretty , like you :)

*Hugs everyone who needs em*
*Waves at everyone*

Oh and I'm sorry about saying I was paranoid , all the stress is catching up to me I think .

I got an e-mail from BT not answering my query but asking if I wanted to pay differently *sigh* I'm actually nervous as to what I'll get in the post today and I unplugged my phone last night to avoid THEM phoning me.

*Spots Helen and A&S*

*tucks owen up*
yay mouse in darkness southener

*Peeps out*

*Runs over and gives everyone gentle hugs.*

Doikers - Hope everything goes well. Stress is a bugger. Hands you a ray of sunshine to brighten your day.

xxJuliexx - Go the southerners! I fail utterly with the IT stuff so I guess that is ok.

*Hugs if I missed you. Sorry.* Memory like a minow at the moment.

Thanx for the Ray of sunshine from Mouse in Darkness , I think I'll go by the canal and find out if the sun comes out with it , I need milk anyway lol.
You can call me Mark Mouse in Darkness :) Nice to meet you

Haya Kahlia I sees you!
Gentle *Hugs*

*hugs all who can accept hugs*

mouse or would you prefer MID or something?: *huge bear hugs* Welcome back sweetheart. I hope that things are starting to improve for you. Just remember to take one day at a time, and if necessary one hour or one minute at a time. We're in this life together, right?

Mark: I'm sorry to hear that you can associate with my kind of life without a computer, but I'm still kind of glad you can ... so I don't feel so alone with it. It's really not good though. Sorry to hear the saga with BT is still going on, I hope it's resolved in your favour soon. *big hugs*

JK: I'm really glad you liked it. I wrote it for all of us (and myself) because it's true, but also because we need to hear it (or read it) and we don't. Our illnesses or habits seem to set us apart from everyone else and we all think that we are so alone and so different that no-one could ever like us or love us when it's just not true. Be easy on yourself regarding feelings, they will come when they are ready. The meds can stop them from coming now and showing themselves, but they can't stop them forever. I hope that you reach a sort of optimal level for the meds sooner rather than later.*big hugs*

Hayley: My housemate has now shown me where the password is. Hopefully that should make it all okay until I get my new monitor. *crosses fingers* Things don't sound all that crash hot with you though. I wish I could offer more than just some *hugs*

*offers hugs to everyone else that she is scared to mention by name in case she leaves someone out - damn it gets so busy in here sometimes now*

My mood still hasn't lifted from the drop inflicted from the Champix. The si and su thoughts are getting worse, and I don't have a Plan B. I don't really have a crisis line other than lifeline, I don't have a hospital to go to if things get to a dangerous level ... so I guess I just have to get through. Sometimes it would be so much easier if I wasn't awake to witness all this ...

*gives Kahlia a teddy*

*takes teddy from Julie* Thank you. :)

How do you play?

Can I use one of yours? I don't have my own model planes , BUT I DO have model star trek ships will that work?

cool :)

Perhaps you should try and sleep ?

Well , play a little , until you are ready for bed ? Don't get too tired though

hey Doikers *hugs* owen already is to tired he's getting grumpy
he couldnt come out all day while i was at work

*Hugs Julie* Hey :) thats ok

so Doikers wat u doing

*cuddles Kahlia* thanks hun, you are amazing in worrying about others while you're in such a bad space yourself. Please hang in there, if there's anything I can do [in the absence of a magic wand] you let me know ok?

ur up late jk lol

I'm just listening to Music ( Flyleaf ) asking the mods a question , wondering if I need a jacket to go out in , am very aware of a cut I last made and it's triggering me a little . I feel down , numb and pointless.
If I get through today and tommorow it will be a week free of S.I. so it's on my mind quite a bit . Feel like there was no point I got up this morning , most of the food I was gonna eat today has gone off, all mouldy so now I HAVE TO THINK about what to eat and I don't have the energy , cereal and fruit again I guess , sorry to ramble.
How are you Julie?
And you JK ?

*hugs Doikers*
i'm tired and ate way to much today

yeah, doesn't happen often Julie lol... so are you given you started work at 7!

I'm ok thanks Mark, just waiting for some sleep to come my way. As I said earlier I'm trying not to think about my 2 week SI free "milestone" and just taking it one day at a time doing the best I can. Good luck with your day, cereal and fruit's a great start, that's what I'll be doing in hmmmm, about 5 hours!

I better try to sleep, you guys take care of each other til the rest of the Northern Hemisphere comes to play.

*blows kisses goodnight*

*hugs Julie* I bet you're tired it's really late in New Zealand isn't it?

Night Night JK *Hugs*

i'll probably fall asleep typing soon

its
1245am

I'm off out , fresh air is needed ....

WOW , Full blown thunder storm !
I spot an April :)

*peeks in & offers cuddles to those who want them, and dark chocolate to everyone* :)

Am at parents' trying to figure out this whole soc essay thing... it's very confusing to me... :-/ I hate feeling stupid!!! :(

I absolutely LOVE Delain, Mark!! Thanks so much for introducing me to them. :D

I'm really tired although we nearly slept in until 7am today. Oops, lol.

Sorry no individual replies at the mo, should be working on my paper. :-/

*more cuddles, then hides* :(

HeHe , I am Glad you like Delain , I've only just discovered them myself.
*Random Delain Fact*
The Delain Keyboard player was the Within Temptation Keyboard player right up until a few months before they got popular but he had to leave because of ill health . So it's kind of Karma that he is finally gettng known :)

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5juc6fmgylw&feature=related[/ame]

Very pretty song... :D I need to get that album too, "Dark Passion Play" by Nightwish... I love Nightwish, they were the first Gothic rock band I ever listened to. :)

That's a really neat fact, Mark!! :) And yeh, it's awesome that he's finally getting recognized. Is Delain a newish group? (2007ish I think?) *cuddles* How are you doing?? and congrats on the near week without SI, that's AMAZING!!!! :D (and JK and Hels and Kahlia, and everyone else who is fighting SI, you guys are AMAZING too!!! :D)

OOoh I like Nightwish too , we have such great taste April :P

We really do, don't we, Mark!! :D lol... I'm so glad that I have someone I can talk with about my favorite groups, as there aren't many people around here who have heard of Within Temptation or Nightwish (or Delain!! :D).

*curls up next to*

*Huggles April* I only have one Nightwish Album from back whan Tarja was the lead singer .

*huggles Mark back* I have three albums, all with Tarja... but I really want the ones with Annette... :) I like the operatic style that Tarja had but Annette's singing is pretty damn good too. Sounds a lot like WT though, now, so some of the individuality is gone. Which album do you have?

I have " Over the hills and far away " it's got some live tracks on it , I like it :)

Cool, that's one that I don't have. :) I don't like live tracks as much as I like studio versions, but they are okay. Hmmm. :)

I just had some baked potato chips and now I'm drinking hot choc and it tastes like it's the choc that's spicy, not the chips!! Really weird... lol.

*hides*

:) MMmmmm spicy hot chocolate.....

Lol... I got Jarrod some dark chocolate with chili pepper in it for Christmas year before last... wasn't brave enough to try it though!! :P

How are you doing? And I spy a Hiddenlies!! *waves*

It's busy in here. (every time I go to write busy I almost write busty!)

LOL I've done that before now Lindsay :)

It is a busy ward at the moment.

Just popping by as I'm actually going out in 30 minutes or so, got to try find something to call dinner!

*cuddles everyone lots*

wow so many pages, i'll try my best, sorry if I miss anyone!
Thanks to everyone who was really nice to Rosie last night, big hugs from me!
mark: well done for getting this far through a week! *special hugs* don't be sorry for saying you're paranoid, you are entitled to feel that way at times. (and I want a thunder-storm!)
Crimson: I get like that too. Infact I only half feel IRL the things I type in RYL. It's as if I would be feeling them in full, if I wasn't writing them..make sense? *hugs*
Oliver: Well done on getting the list sorted, Good luck with what you need to do. *huggles* you are not a freak, not at all, and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise.
Kahlia: Hope you get a monitor sorted soon, I think I'd feel trapped without net access. You are intitled to complain and whine, just not go to sleep and never wake up. *huggles* I hope you find a way to clamber off the roundabout soon. And thank you for the lovely post you left on page 1190 to everyone.
Helen: *gives you big cuddles* sorry I wasn't about to give you them earlier
April: *huggles* I've not seena picture but i'm sure you are far from it.
Julie *huggles* hi hun, how are you? How are the others?
Hayley: *cuddles* yeah, we're keeping as safe as possible. I have to keep my mind as much as I can because of baby. *cuddles you tight* I know that slippery slope, the only thing that's keeping me going now is baby haz, other than that I feel pretty pointless.
JK: *huggles* 'do you understand how sick you are?* that is such an odd question to ask. I wonder what your therapist meant.
Mouseindarkness: Welcome to the ward *huggles* what can I call you?
AS: *hugs* thanks for talking to rosie *smiles* I'm Kat, nice to meet you.


Again, so sorry if i've missed you out *sends extra special huggles*

Feeling terrible today. Tired and confused and every muscle aches.

*Hugs Kat* Thanks for the special hugs , thats quite a feat you managed to reply to everyone I think, wow .
I'm sorry you feel pointless , I do to , but feeling it doesn't make it so , we are nice people and deserve nice stuff to happen to us and it will we just have to hang on in there :)

*nods* you're right mark. I just wish I could have some time to enjoy the nice things I do get without all the sh*t stuff hanging around my neck the entire time. I'd just like one day, one day when everything goes right, where nothing seriously messes up. I'd like to go to bed smiling for once instead of absolutely knackered, stressed out and in tears. Come to think of it i'd like a night without nightmares for once. *Sighs* i'm sorry, i'm ranting. I just feel for once. you know?