Jade: Thanks *hugs back*

Helen: Christ alive o____o;; I never want to move again. I think I'd go completely loopy if I had to move five times D: *hugs you too*

Bye everyone =( I'll be back one day =( Take care *cuddles*

Dayne good to see you back!!! Hopefully when I get back we'll have a place =)

Take care Snuffles xxx Miss you xxx

*Cuddles Katie* Hope to see you soon <3

How're you holding up, Jade?

Dayna Im doing better today thank you xxx
Thanks for asking xxx

How are you doing????

Glad to hear it, and you're welcome. Between friends **** and our old landlord, I'm stressed to high hell

It sure is a lot of moving. I will have to move again at some point *sighs*

Don't blame you hun!! *cuddles* I wasn't too thrilled at having to move a sixth time last year but then we backed out anyway because of all this crap with money atm. But this is the house I've lived in longest..10 years :blink:

Missing you already Katie :'(

Helen: Eeeee, I'd hate to leave somewhere after 10 years D:

Ah crap, the dog wants a walk. Back soon

*leaves hugs for all*

Am just going to disappear into a corner for awhile okies ??

Thanks for the hugs. That was neat. It did make me feel better. Even for the moment. So thanks.

Wooo.

Needs to rant, and dunno how to start myself off =D

*hugs people* Poe welcome *offers tea and cake*
*hugs Dayna* hope you get to de-stress soon
*hugs Jade* glad you're feeling a bit better I hope it keeps going that way
*finds kahlia in the corner and offers a big hug*
*hugs Kat*doesn't sound fun, no words, just hope.
*hugs Helen**hugs MaryAnne**hugs Chkymnky**hugs Nikki*
*hugs Secrets* hope you're doing okay.
*hugs Katie* good luck

am doing okay, feel like im in a bit of a nowhere place right now.

leaves a variety of assorted muffins - there are even sugar free ones but I don't think they taste as good

*leaves a hug for everyone*
thanx for the hugs guys xxx

:-D mmmmmmmmm thanx *spots the bluberry muffin*

*Hugs all*

Wildly: Chance would be a fine thing, but thanks, lol.


...I hate that I still love him. And I feel so stupid bitching about it, considering the seriousness of other **** that's been going on, blah blah. And here's me essentially going 'OMFGBOYPROBLEMS?!' like a Goddamn kid. It just...it hurts. It keeps hitting me at the most unexpected moments. Usually, anyway. The past few days again, it's been bothering me solidly. I'm so sick of hurting because of him.

Restricting contact with him doesn't help, either, because then I miss him. I got to experience that when I was offline thanks to the move. Yes, I missed everyone, but my God, I really missed him too, and what the **** for?

I'm a stupid, naive little girl, an idiot who craved love too much, and blinded herself to the very real possibility that things just might've been going wrong. I was scared to think that I might've been losing him, and so I ignored it. I knew, deep down, I knew that he didn't love me any more, but I tried to convince myself otherwise. I don't even know what it is that's made me so...wanting love. I've no idea. And I'm a whore. A pathetic, wasteful little whore. I took...pictures that he wanted, even though he knew that I was uncomfortable with it. I did that for him, just for his damned lust. So yes. No two ways about it, I'm a ****ing whore.

'I don't understand how you've done
These things to me
I can not comprehend your lack
Of loyalty
For you I would have shaken down the
Heavens from the sky
But it seems my love was stronger than
This love of yours that died
Did you think it wouldn't hurt?
Did you think I wouldn't feel
when the world came falling down?
Or maybe you didn't think at all
And that's why I feel what I feel now
Did you think I wouldn't fall?
Did you think I wouldn't cry?
Did you think I wouldn't beg
you to stay?
One of these days you're gonna realise
Just what you've thrown away'.

The mental images of suicide are coming back, too. Overdosing, hanging. I want to SI so much. And not just cutting, either. I want to bitch and rant about the...other means, but that'd break the ****ing tipsharing rule. So I guess I'd best stfu about that.

Urges won't leave me alone again. To swallow every pill in the house. I keep wanting to cut my arm open, but I don't have the physical strength to do so. I just...I don't even know any more. I fail. I'm sick of it all. I don't even remember what else I had to say

Dear Wildly xxx sorry your not in a nowhere place right now xxx

Dear Dayna I hope the dog walk did you some good xxx

Dear Helen Sorry that you will have to move again Hopefully it wont be soon xxx

Hi ya ChkyMnky Hope your doing ok

::::::::::::::::: sends hugs to everyone :::::::::::::::::::::

How is everyone doing this afternoon ????

Jade: Nah, it just made me cold, lol. Doing pretty fail here, tbh, and yourself?

Oh Dayna You sound like your going through some tough times. Im here to listen.

Please fight the urges honey, no one is worth taking your life over. Please stay strong.

You have just gone through one of the most stressful times of your life < moving > give things a chance to settle back down.

Im here for you
Love Jade xxx

I'm trying, I really am x__x. And I'm just hoping that things go okay for my housemate today, too. She got a load of **** off our old landlord yesterday, the bastard actually made her cry, so I'm hoping that she doesn't have to talk to him again today.

And bleh. I don't even know if...he...realises just how much **** he's caused. He admitted that he knows that a part of my suicidal thoughts and urges as of late has been because of the crap he's done, but I dunno. I haven't felt able to speak to him about it for ages. I guess...I guess I don't really want him to know just how much I'm hurting :/

Im sorry you are having trouble with your Landlord. What a bastard making your housemate cry, epecially because she is feeling delicate too.

Maybe if you told him how much he is hurting you he will stop it ??? I dont know because I dont know what he is like. Do you have a past together.

Still listening honey carry on