Aye, good luck ALL I'm Living For.
And *hugs* to Dramatic.
Alexx hun, you won't get ill from sleeping with wet hair. I do it a lot and I've always been ok.
It's understandable to hurt the people that have hurt you. I know I do. But you'd tell me I'm not a bad person, and I don't think you are. I've only ever seen you be a great person, really.

Forgot to say (i nearly wrote "Froggot" - Tired much?) thanks for all the hugs.
I appreciate them.

And Voice of Reason - *Big hugs* sorry, i'm slightly lost for words this evening. Try and keep your chin up x

xx

Thank you (btw i'm sophie :) )

*huggles and cuddles everyone* you're all going to get through whatever bad things you're all going through. i dont really know any of you but i still believe in you! :)

OMG.

I am even MORE pissed off.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY HORRIBLE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD?

:@

Laura, I'm sorry we made you feel guilty, some of us just get parnoid?? xx

Why are you pissed off?

And, i understand some people are paranoid, i'm an expert in paranoia. However, rationally thinking - if i was speaking of someone on RYL, or on this thread, i wouldn't exactly come here to rant about it would i?
Anyway, i'm too much of a bitch, because i say it to peoples faces heh =]

Laura, true true I guess you wouldn't openely flame members...well u get me if it was rthem. I hope things get better hun and they stop being leeches? (Is it your mum?)

I'm pissed off for lots of reasosn, well several people are the cause of my anger >.<

Who are the people that are causing you to be angry?

And no it isn't my mother, well, they aren't family per say, more a very close family friend of ours - someone my mother used to work with when i was born. However, we consider her as part of the family.
If that makes any sense. >.<

Meh.
Leeches = sucky.
Er..no pun intended..lol. x

*huggles and cuddles*

Blah, just some ex friends, people on ryl, people at uni LOL. I'll explain in my thread later, cba to type it out anymore lol. Oh I understand what u mean tho...haha that made me giggle...they are sucky indeed ;)

*hugs*

i'm not on for long but is there anythingi can do to help?

I dunno hun tbh.

I'm just really angry again now because people in chat went bit mean on me and it easily hurt and upset me. Then I went on an ex-friend's myspace and looked at the photos I commented nastily (a bit nasty) when we first fell out to find some responses to me, from the 'friend' who fell out with me on thrusday night >.< Really hurt!

Apprantly I have no friends hahahaha and apprantly people laugh at me :| Oh and apprantly I'm really ugly & need sugery on my face rofl. >.< I do tho for my nose, it's digusting >.< It's my dad's nose ewwww

*hugs Helen and everyone who needs it*

Can anyone spare a hug?

*hugs Hells*

You know where I am, sweetheart, sorry I haven't been around much recently, been a bit useless, lol. Hope everything's ok today hun.


*hugs pomegranate*

I'm around if there's anything you wanna talk about?

Missed college yesterday coz I was hungover. Got two lessons today so am in 11:05 - 4:25 So I'm bringing a chicken sandwich with me.
Hate college. But recently I've been in that kinda mood where you are actually interested in what the teacher's saying and want to learn.
My hair's a mess, but I can't be bothered to sort it out. I'm wearing a top with fluff on the sleeve and yesterday I got some grated cheese in it and now it smells a bit cheesey. LOL.
Gee, I am chatty today. I've just told you some completely pointless information.
*Hugs anyone who wants one*
see you all later x

*Hugs Zowie back* thanks i needed that

*hugs Helen* i think your beautiful so there!

I think i have "Please speak to me like a piece of ****, and take all your frustrations out on me" written in big letters on my forehead.

No matter what i say, no matter what i do on here, someone always has to snap and bite my head off.
Er. Sorry for offering support.
My bad.
>.<

*hugs Dramatic* wish i knew what to say, but i dont so just *hugs more*

Thanks, hugs mean alot right now.
Don't worry about knowing what to say.

I just think there's only so much i can take before i'm going to snap myself. I've taken so much crap from people on here over the past 3 weeks it's unbelievable.
Driving - me - up - the - WALL.
*Rant over*
Heh ignore me.
x

Dramatic - I just wanted to let you know that your comment about "leeches = sucky" brought a smile to my face. I know that you didn't intend the pun but it was good to hear someone else say something I think. I'd like to offer you some hugs if you can accept them. *hugs*

*hugs anyone who wants, needs and can accept hugs*

I wish I hadn't seen my pdoc today. Oh well.

*hugs Kahlia back* thanks for the hugs i need them. What has happened with your pdoc?

I told him that I'm getting close to just stopping taking my meds. I take up to 25 tablets a day including sleeping pills and PRN meds. From where I'm sitting they aren't really helping anyway and I've started gagging when I'm taking them. My head is telling me that they are going to kill me.

He wants me to keep taking them but he said he could see where I was coming from. He also said he wants me to have ECT again. I've told him no but haven't been able to verbalise the reason and he keeps trying to talk it up.
The reason: I did get improvement when I had ECT three times a week but the improvement was not sustained .... which means it's not sustainable .... which means that in order to really live, I would have to have ECT three times a week for the rest of my life. This means I could never work, it would be pointless trying to study, and realistically, I would not be able to have a life. So if you're going to do that ... wouldn't it just be quicker and easier all round to euthanise me now ??

Sorry, I just feel like poop now.

*hugs* i'm the worlds worst at taking tablets so i won't lecture you over it but do try to keep taking them, unless its possible to convert some of them to injection format as i have done?

As for ECT if you keep saying no they can't make you have it *snuggles* i can understand why you feel bad though my poor friend

*Hugs Kahlia and Dramatic*

Feeling a bit shitty. Just had English and have Media in 20mins. The voices are really bad, but I can't afford to miss anymore lessons.
It's not fair. x

I'm on 2 antipsychotics and 2 mood stabilisers ~ so they can swap the antipsychotics over to injection format. He doesn't want to do that right now. They have done that before because I got to a point where I just couldn't take what I was on.

Actually, they can give me ECT even if I say no. They would have to put me under an ITO to do it, but they could. Hopefully it won't come to that.

*hugs you back*

*hugs Zowie*. I'm really sorry that the voices are bad. Good luck.

Why doesnt he want to swap them over to injection?

I hope it doesnt come to an ITO, surely he'll respect your right to choose

*hugs right back atcha*

Zowie i'm sorry your having troubles with the voices *hugs*

I'm not sure why he doesn't want to swap them over. I think it's just that I have so many issues with medications. He just said that he didn't want to change anything right at the moment.

I want to start crying again. I've barely stopped since I came out of my pdoc's office.

Sorry everyone. :(

*hugs Kahlia and offers tissues and a shoulder to cry on*

*hugs emma tight* I just sent you a text and then this post reminded me you probs wont get it....*hugs you some more*

*hugs Hana* I do indeed know where you are. Need to talk when I finally get home tonight (it's gonna take a while possibly, cus hoping to meet up with Jess quickly...)

*hugs you back* Thanks darling.

*hugs Kahlia, Laura & Zowie* I'm sorry you two aren't having good days either.

I'll explain more later, but I think I'm beyond help, I just can't stay safe :wow:

*hugs you back* No one is beyond help sweetheart

*hugs more* going out tonight hun, (more free food, lol) but I'll have my mobile on me if you wanna text or anything, and I'll be home around 10 or so, we can talk properly then or something.

Loves you sweetheart.

*hugs you again* I feel like I am at the minute :blink:

*hugs more* You & your free food :laugh: But okies, talk to you later hunni :]

*more hugs* it may feel that way, but it isnt true, i promise

I believe you :) Why are people so hurtful??

people can be hurtful without meaning it, and sometimes because they want to be. I try to ignore it the best i can even though it still hurts *hugs*

Hey everyone. I am back from Texas, didn't get a chance to come on while I was over there. Hope you are all ok.

Hi all. *hugs all round*

It has been a weird day. I had an asthma attack after taking my meds last night (I do realise the two most likely aren't related) that lasted for about 4 hours. I was thinking I was going to have to get myself to the hospital to be put onto a nebuliser. Then I crashed out at about 4:30 am and basically slept until midday. I kept feeling like I wanted to go back to bed. It was really hard to keep myself awake.

Now I'm wide awake and it's 10 pm. I think I might end up doing some of the packing and repacking that I need to do.

Hope that everyone is surviving. *hugs for anyone who wants them, and I have chocolate for anyone who wants it as well :D*

*pounces on the chocolate and grabs a hug* glad your ok sweetheart

I'm glad you're ok sweetie and welcome back 1ofmany

I threw up this morning, so had to miss uni yet again. Then I checked what time this assessment is for next tues and realsie I'll have to miss Tuesday of next week and therefore wont do a full week then. Hopefully the second half of term will have me attending every single lecture & tutorial without fail :D Cus this side hasn't been great, though some of it wasn't my fault!!!

Sometimes it seems as if life conspires against what we want to do *snuggles* but i know you'll manage it soon

Having a bad day. Had to leave my lesson and now I'm worried they're going to kick me off the course. I was feeling really risky, couldn't stay there. Getting the train home was really hard. I kept thinking about dying and killing myself.
I just had a bath and found that really hard too (I have little stamina to actually bathe and change my clothes) And seeing my body makes me cry. There are cuts, burns and bruises everywhere and I'm so fat.
I weighed myself and I'm STILL gaining. I felt so pleased that I was a healthy weight again, but now I'm overweight and still gaining. This isn't recovery, it's over eating and not purging as often.
Hate myself.

*hugs zowie*

*hugs you both*

I've seen my gp today heh.

Thanks to Emma for coming :) Much appericated :]

*hugs shadowedseraph, Helen, and Zowie*

Ach it's 4 am and not only am I awake, but I've started cleaning. I did actually manage some sleep 3.5 or 4 hours of it but now I'm feeling the urge to start filling the garbage bin. I just can't seem to switch off. Meh.

Helen - just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone with having had to miss chunks of a uni semester. The first time I tried to study I had that issue. When I went back 2.5 years ago I had to do it one subject at a time. Last semester I managed 2 subjects, but then I had something happen that resulted in a breakdown. So I know where you are coming from. *special hugs and "fairy" wishes that your second half of semester will be better*

Zowie - I went through something similar when I entered recovery from my ED. What I went through explains in some part why I have issues with medications. *hugs for you*

*hugs everyone then dives under the bed to try and get some more sleep*

This is **** can I go now please?

*hugs Kahlia* hope you get some sleep honey

*hugs back* Thanks for making me feel less alone. I feel really guilty about it because if I don't turn up for lectures, my notetakers (I have 3!) don't get paid for working with me. It's like some of the time, it hasn't been my fault cus of my timetable being changed. But I could have gone in last weds and today. But I just didnt feel I could cope cus I was ill. Then had I not overslept Monday, that would have been fine. So I think I'm going to end up spending most of not next week but the week after (or maybe next week after all) catching up on notes/reading and doing any work I may need to do. Which reminds me I need to see my it lecturer about this assignment, well I may not need to once I've read it again LOL! I think I've gone into uni too soon somedays, I'm not coping that great...:S I wish I lived in halls, it'd be easier in some respects. So I could actually attend some society stuff without worrying about travelling there/home. I hope you've gotten some more sleep. =\

*hugs everyone else*

I'm pissed off and drinking a bit of alcohol. Why is everything going so badly at the moment? Well yeah I've had some good times too recently, but still...

*hugs Helen* sometimes life just doesnt work out the way we'd like it to!

How did the GP appt go Helen? x

It was okay actually. He wants to check up on me, in the way of having to see him next wednesday aswell. He asked why I was suidical and I don't think he thought they were good enough but hey ho. He made do another dperession test (I've done like 3/4 for him now LOL) and stuff and then given me some reading to do woohoo. I'm so glad Emma came....

Indeed not!!! *hugs back* What's your name btw lol xx