Hand holding, please.
 

This morning I found out I'm pregnant.

I know I need to ring my CPN or my support worker but I have no idea what to say or anything.

I just need a hand to hold because I don't think this journey is going to be easy.

Bless ur heart hugs and congratulations. I'd just come out with it when ringing cpn I'd be like well I have some very surprising news to tell you so I hope you're siting down and then just be like I'm pregnant. Good luck with everything I hope it all goes well. Will be thinking of you.

Also I think your gp would need to know if they don't already

Thanks so much.

I think I'm going to let it settle in over the weekend as I'm seeing my support worker on Monday anyway.

OK sounds like an idea. Mayb ring gp for advice today as if you re on any medication you can ask gp if it's OK to take it while pregnant good luck with everything

We are here for you in whatever small way we can be. Take care of yourself over the weekend, and always, and I hope you get on ok with your support worker.

Congratulations, I hope you get all the support you need. It's definitely important to tell the people involved with your care.

Sending love. Is the father someone you can trust? Have you told him or anyone else you are close to? Maybe that would be a good way to start out so they can support you with telling your care providers? Or even practice by telling a cat or pet you are close to (I know you used to have cats, unsure if you still do).

Sorry for the questions, I'm sure you've got a lot in your own head. Thinking of you.

I don't think you are being selfish. Why does your partner not want you to tell anyone? I think given your history fear of exams and scans makes total sense so having as much support as possible would be good. Do your people now know of your history and why that may be difficult?

I think he's worried something will go wrong and it'll let people down cause maybe they would get excited and stuff and then be sad.

They are aware so I'm hoping they would be understanding but I don't have a regular Doctor at the moment so it means explaining it all but maybe my SW could explain it.

Thanks again, just having someone listen is so helpful.

Finding out you're pregnant, especially if it was unexpected, is such a big thing! It's definitely not selfish to feel all the things you do, so go easy on yourself. Definitely get in touch with your mental health team when you can as it'll be good and important to have someone to talk to as all these thoughts and feelings come up. We're here. Xx

I mean I guess I can understand your partner's concern. But it's also something that is going on with your body, so I think it's also up to you in terms of who you tell and also what telling people looks like. Your wants and needs are super important here, please don't discount those. Putting you first does not make you selfish. This is, I imagine, a complicated situation, and having a lot of different emotions all at once is definitely okay.

Thank you for the reassurance.

I feel exhausted with all the emotion but I guess I'm still in shock. I will definitely bring it up with my MH team on Monday and call the GP.

How are you feeling today?

Thanks for asking.

I'm okay, very tired. I keep waking up in the night over and over just 'thinking'. I'm actually looking forward to Monday now so I can air some of what I feel in real life.

It must be hard having so much going through your mind and not having a chance to talk it through with someone. I hope you can have a good chat tomorrow.

Hope it's helpful today. I'm thinking of you.

Thinking of you x

Hope you are OK xxx thinking of u

Hope today goes ok lovely x

Adding to the good wishes. <3

Thanks all, it went well, she didn't offer much advice other than she could attend appointments with me.

She kept saying congratulations and that I'd make a good mum which made me feel pretty uncomfortable for some reason.

She did say she'd inform other people in my care though to save me having to re-tell a lot of times which is useful. For some reason, I just want to cry. I feel overwhelmed I guess.

I can understand why you'd feel overwhelmed. I'm glad you have some support and don't have to tell everyone else in your treatment team from scratch. It must be hard to hear all these Mum related things when you weren't expecting this. When are you next due some support? What might you be able to do for yourself right now to express things and soothe yourself?

You've shared some pretty big information that was difficult for you to talk about. It's okay to feel overwhelmed after that! I'm glad that she can tell your other providers and potentially go to appointments with you if you want.

If comments or specific phrases feel unhelpful or make you uncomfortable, I think it would be okay to say that to them as well. This is new for you, so it's bound to bring up a lot of things that you wouldn't necessarily know about in advance.

Everyone else has already given really good thoughts so I just want to echo that, and to say it's okay to talk about all of the feelings here, even if they seem less than 'pretty or 'neat'.

Thank you all.

I guess it is understandable but I always feel like I should be the strong one so feeling so vulnerable is difficult. I have more support tomorrow and perhaps I will mention that talking all about babies and being a mother and stuff is difficult to comprehend.

I spoke to my partner about how I was feeling and he said I have him but it's odd cause yes I do and I'm very grateful for him and all the support I'm getting from the MH team but I still feel very alone in this.

I managed to ring the GP just now and they've referred me to the midwife so that's one thing sorted.

It sounds to me like you're being pretty strong. Talking about this stuff with professionals is really difficult and in itself takes a lot of strength. Being vulnerable takes a lot of strength and shows a lot of willingness on your part.

It also makes sense to me to feel grateful for the support of your team and your partner but feel simultaneously alone. It's something that's happening to your body, and while the situation impacts others, it doesn't have an impact on anybody else's body.

So proud of you for how you're handling everything, even though it's clear it's been a massive struggle. I hope you can be kind to yourself through this.

Thank you <3

Yes, that's exactly it - Feeling lonely in this because its my body and my brain and all these changes are happening.

I feel guilty for not being happy all the time.

Change is really difficult, even if it's a change you are okay with. Something like this is a huge change, so you don't have to be happy about it all the time, or even any of the time!

Also, like, I know this sounds dumb and I don't mean this to invalidate how you feel, but hormones can really impact your mood and energy levels, as can physical changes in your body. I imagine being pregnant can do some wonky things to hormones and your body. I'm not pregnant, but I do take hormones and I can definitely feel a difference when they aren't stable.

However you feel is okay. <3

Please don't feel guilty for anything and certainly not for not being happy all the time. None of us are happy all the time, however it may look sometimes on social media etc and no matter what the circumstances. My good friend who also suffers badly with mh issues is pregnant with twins and she is struggling to cope too. I can understand why you feel this way and relate to your loneliness and I relate to struggling with being vulnerable. It's so hard. Try taking one day at a time if you can or even an hour or a minute at a time if you need to. I am glad you have support though from your partner at least plus mh team so I hope you're able to talk to either of them. Sending you my love x

Sending love n hugs xxxx

How are you getting on? It's ok not to share if you don't want to. Sending love.

Thanks for asking.

I'm struggling - feeling very low.

You’ve had an awful lot to take in, even without the lack of meds, nicotine etc. Keep using this as a safe place to talk :-). Has your team mentioned referring you to perinatal at all?

I'm sorry you're feeling so low. Please use whatever support you have. We are here to listen if you need to post.

You are going to be going through a lot of emotional and physical changes. Every and any feelings are normal. It's OK to be scared, happy, low, anxious you name it it's OK.

Keep an eye on your mood, there are some medications that are associated with no increased risk to the unborn you don't have to struggle through this without help. Do you have any perinatal mental health services in your area?

Good luck and best wishes!

Hey lovely, I just wanted to check in with you x