mark :)

oliver- hope his dad comes round... its ridiculous that he wont pay for the apartment or w/e because of that... people are frustrating o_O im sure it wont mean anything coming from someone he doesnt know- but feel free to say that im proud for coming out =] that alwaysss takes courage- especially with something thats even less understood than being gay/lesbian soooo yus.

/rambling

sorry you didnt get much sleep lia, hope you have a good day <3

ergh. food is dumb. it shudnt existtt >.> lol

*crawls out of her hiding hole in the warren and skulks off in search of a shower* *sits in shower fully clothed*

<3 hey kat :)

ps, you're not being stupid lia *nod*

*Hugs Heather**Hugs Kat* How are you both?

I went to go out to the shops (Food shops) and got my wallet , shoes on , keys , MP3 in my ears but I just coulden't bring myself to go out the front door , I coulden't even go down the stairs to the door , I'm tired and achey despite sleeping ok , I woke up but just wanted to sleep , just a LITTLE BIT MORE . Maybe this afternoon hmmm? I drank an energy drink , hope it gives me energy.

Hey Heather.
Hey Mark *hugs* awful. but it doesn't matter.

Sorry you're having a tough time mark. hope it solves soon.

EDIT: ^^crap^^ such crap.

*pounces* i spy april, and kahlia

here if you want =]
if i dont reply its cuz im gonna try and get 4 hours sleep >.>

Updated my R/V thread

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...80#post2335180

It's pretty pityful.

will read mark. I dont ever mention mine, because i try not to read it. it scares me.

Kat I'd be more than willing to read yours if you chose to mention it :) , My latest entry is crap though

meep. link is on my sig.
I just wish i had something clever, intelligent, helpful, loving and supportive to say, but for some reason, i dont. I just cant think and i havn't been able to for months. where have i gone? I dont know me anymore.

OOH I didn't spot your link , *Mental note to check it from time to time*
It's Okay Kat , you will get through this :) *Hug*

I might think about mentioning updates and using it more often..i dont know. I just feel like i have nothing of worth to say. and if i do say **** then it stays in rv to be unread because it's not worth anyones time.
*hugs back* will i? I just feel like everything is falling apart.

*curls up in the ward for the night*

*pokes*
anyone around?

*pokes back* I'm lurking around. how are you?

Trying to avoid myself.
How're you tonight?

Meep. Dont know. dont care. *shrugs*

hmmm... dunno if thats better or worse than how i'm doing... *scratches head* though it isn't actively bad so i suppose that's a good part... *huggles*

*sigh* well its5am... i guess i'llgo lay down and try to sleep the urges and thoughts off...
*hugs everyone*

*huggles back* *sniffles*

Is anybody around? I need somebody to understand.

i'm here, can i help?

I'vehad a letter from my neurologist this morning. He wants me to have a blood test before my scan. I have a severe phobia of needles. I'm having a panic attack just thinking about it, and nobody understands. They're telling me to 'just do it' but I can't. And i don't know what to do.

telling you to 'just do it' isn't very good advice or support, and I am sorry that is the response you are getting. Try not to think on it for the moment if you can, and try to calm down, a panic attack is the last thing you want right now. *cuddles if you can accept them*

Hmm think world war 3 about to kick off today lol. It's so funny and for once I havnt started it. =)

what makes you say that? (name reminder please, and yes I do this everytime!)

Hmm names Jill. Sorry i didnt explain that very well.Everybody seams to be picking a fight with this one member of staff today. So I'm sort of staying out of the way as it looks like it's going to kick off. Would feel sorry for her if she wasn't such a bit*h.

I can't do this any more. I hope the three men succeed in killing me.

One step closer are you okay Hun? Big bear hugs if it's okay.

*Hugs Lindsay* Oh , Don't say that Lindsay, Just hang on it will get better , it will.

*hugs everyone*
this is so confusing :(

*Hugs Nicole* Whats confusing Nicole?

BPD i know what it is now and stuff, but i still dont fully understand, and my head is just rejecting it! im sat here reading up on it, all the symptoms and stuff, and one part of mes going 'omg, thats so like me, thank god im not just a freak' then another, stronger part is going 'thats not you at all, tell them to shut up, you should go self harm, thatll show them!' and im so confused! im not sure im strong enough to fight the second part. :(

Please try not to S.I. Nicole , no wonder you're confused it's enough to trigger anyone *Hugs*

*hugs mark* im trying, i just hate myself so much right now. im scared to go back in the borderline personality disorder thread because they shouted at me :( i just dont know what to do. i knew i wouldnt be able to handle 2 weeks without group, roll on wednesday :(

Hmm They shoulden't have yelled . I hope Wednesday comes swiftly for you and even if you hate yourself know that we here like you :)

thankyou *hugs* they yelled because i asked them to explain it to me but i dont understand! i need to know from someone else whos experienced it. :(

I wish I could help Nicole :S I hope you get some answers soon *Hug*

thankyou. *hugs* i think i might try and talk to louisa at group on weds, theres loads of us but shes the only one with no friends who lets her anxiety show, and noone really talks to her because shes so paraniod, but i am too and i just hide it better, and i think i should talk to her, but have you got any ideas how i can start up a conversation with her?

*hides in corner shaking* - if anyone's around later could they take at look at my post please, I really need some help and no-one's responding. thanks. http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...d.php?t=141715

Thanks for the hugs. I am feeling a little better now - Although I did cut some more tonigth and almost fell apart on the bus ride home from my nans but going to go to bed soon and just cry or sleep - depending on how I feel and hopefully will wake up a bit better. *hugs to everyone*

KatNovia- just gonna head over and reply :)

They were slighly harsh Nicole, which is why I kinda stuck my ore in there. Useless at sticking up for myself mind. It was just the one person mind, ignore them, like you and I both said, you needed someone who had had experience with it so that's why you went there. Try not to give into those urges you have no reason to hate yourself, you have a mental disorder and that's not your fault. *Hugs*

*Sits near Kat but doesn't touch* Kat? What's the matter?

xx

Spies newcomer Vicki. How are you today sweet? I'm Lia.

x

So anxious. Anxiety, how I hate you!!!!

Rooted (worship night) tonight. Then church tomorrow. I'm scared. :-S

Anxious anxious anxious.................... :'(

I spy Felicia, Lia, and Oliver!! *glomps all* Hehe...

Oh & Kat, I took a look at your thread... sweetie, I'm sorry you're feeling this way & I will keep you in my prayers... I think that is about the only thing that I can really do, no advice to really offer as I have no experience with alters. Although I would say that going for an assessment might be wise? but I don't know for sure. *gentle hugs if okay*

*cuddles april* since I spy you.

*cuddles Laura back* How are you, sweetie? haven't been posting much lately (although admittedly I'm one to talk :o)...

Now I spy no one... it's lonely in here. *curls up in corner with a book and her journal* :(

i'm still here.. just lurking about the site.

I know i haven't been posting much.. feeling kind of weird so *shrug*
I'm sorry you've been so anxious lately hun. I hate anxiety.

I'm here too. How are you Laura?

*Hugs April. How are things other than your anxiety? Sorry you're feeling like that right now, but with no real experiance of it, I don't know what else to say. Although I have been getting more and more scared lately and I don't know why. Or more I do, but it can't be right but if it's not then I really don't know why I'm scared if I'm so sure it's rubbish. Sorry, making no sense. I'll shut up.

x