i cant write to them as i dont have any of their address. :(

Sorry to have not been keeping up with posts. Wrist is still a bugger and have had a friend in hospital .... but on the good side 9 months free today. I will not let this one beat me!!

9 months free WHOOOOOOP for you Kahlia yay :) *huggles*

thanks Hannah!! Am so excited!!

*offers hugs to everyone on the ward - sorry I'm not listing by name*

No worries Hannah, loved looking at them :) *cuddles*

Things are very **** here >_< grrr. One hell of a day >.<

YAY Kahlia thats fantastic!!! *hugs*

Yay Kahlia! That's brilliant!!

Sorry I don't have the energy to reply to everyone, but I have read and I do care.

I'm seeing my care co ordinator today. It's been about 5-7 weeks since I last saw her. She said she would see me in 3 weeks time after our last appointment, but never phoned. I tried calling her and they said she'd call me back, but she never did. So feeling a bit let down by that.
Oh, and when she did finally phone to make an appointment she had no appologies for it all.
I'm not angry, she's been in the paper recently along with my psych because one of their patients killed themselves. When I read that I thought about the shitty care I've recieved from them, and realised that a year ago that could have easily been me.

*cuddles Katie back* sorry to hear you've had a bad day, anything in particular? hope things get better

Sorry to hear that you care co-ordinator is being a bit shitty Arwen *hugs* I hope the meeting goes well.

*hugs can't erase it* is there no way you can get hold of their address, maybe through a mutual friend or someone you can trust? If they're at uni you may be able to find contact details through the uni website.

*gives lucy a gentle cuddle* you don't have to speak

*hugs Helen* don't be too hard on yourself

okay tis time for me to go to the airport so I'll see ya all when I get back, stay safe, take care of yourselves and have a lovely weekend, big big hugs

Ooooh have a good time! See you when you get back :)

Oh yeah it was just horrible just coz. Stupid people putting high expectations on me, triggering ed thoughts etc. Mmmm not fun (N)

um, two of them are still in foster care ones in a home for the intellectually disabled and the others work on farms. i may have contact with the one who is is the home over my mid year break which is coming up in a bout 3 weeks. thanks you for the hugs/.
> hugs to all the people in the room.

Hopefully you can have some contact then. *hugs*

*drops in and leaves some Orange juice*

How is everybody? i'm keeping well..just busy atm and hate waking up at 6am weekdays..ugh. *cuddles ppl in the ward* tc there xx

i cnat shake my stress, people are to much... there gonna push me to a whole new level, if they dont back off... and im concerned about that... closes door. no vistors to day..

My ****ing care co ordinator cancelled.

*hug everyone* Ive read all your posts but right now my brain is frazzled.

So today's exam went well, 2 down 2 to go. I just have no energy now and noone around either till tuesday. Not sure whether thats good or bad. Ahh well

I texted my dad to see if I could borrow a tenner. He said no. I said 'how about a fiver, I want to see my friends at the pub.'
He sent back a really angry text saying that I borrow money all the time and 'how dare you try to guilt trip me?'
I wasn't trying to guilt trip him. Not at all. He said 'every day you do this. im bloody pissed off'.
Why does he have to get so angry?
Not having a good day.

Sorry Arwen that you are your Dad are not seeing eye to eye at the moment. I hope things will get better for you. xxx

Secrets Its nice to see you again xxx Good luck in your exams.

Lucy I can empathise you about no visitors today xxx

Jetforce Thanks for the Hugs and hugs you back.

Kahlia YAY for being 9 months free

Helen Sorry I went to bed early last night, This change in Meds is driving me insane. I feel so sick, weak and dizzy etc. I hope you are feeling much better today.

Hannah, I missed you too. I wanted to wish you a great weekend away. You deserve it. Cant wait to hear all the news.

Katie I hope your having a better day today.

Cant Erase It I hope you can get in contact with your siblings and hugs right back at ya

I hope everyone has a great evening. Sending everyone lots of love and hugs

Jade xxx

Love you Jade <3 Don't worry honey

Kahlia, congratulations babe :D

Arwen, sorry your dad got so angry :(

*leaves hugs for all*

He got home and wasn't too angry once I explained I honestly wasn't trying to guilt trip him.
He's in a good mood now, and is giving me an £8 bottle of wine for £3 :)

Hope everyone's okay.
xxx

Oh lucky Arwen ;) I need alcohol dammit.

I look at everything in my day and have tried to get motivated, i got my work done, but just what i had to do and that's all i felt i could/ wanted to do. my car is so messy, this evening i left so let down, that this has to stop. .. i feel like i need some one to shove me hard till i fall over, when i get over shove me again.. till i wake from this nightmare... i want to turn my day, and replan, reset, i cant stay weak anymore.

Had a nice night. Glad I had alcohol. I seem to always need alcohol.

Thanks to all who offered me congratulations. On my next pay I'll be ordering my 12 month bracelet because I know I can make it now.

*offers hugs to all*

*hugs Kahila* its lovely you're so positive. well done for getting so far!

*hugs zowie* glad you had a nice night, how are you today?

*hugs lucy* today's a new day, try to focus on one thing at a time. And don't worry about a messy car, I'm sure the purpose of them is to be messy. Mine definatly is.

Secrets is ok this morning, still very confused and coughing her guts up however feels positive about the day ahead.

*leaves tea and biscuits for those who want them*

Kahlia I'm so proud of you *squishes lots and lots*

I'm proud of you too, Kahlia! Well done sweets.

I'm feeling fine today. The Brighton meet is tomorrow so I look forward to that :) I might have to get dressed at some point. Blaaah.

*Leaves hugs for everyone*

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggg gggggh

*hugs Mamma Mia*

*hugs Secrets*

*hugs everyone* how is the weekend going for you all? I'm doing okish, get to go look at some apartments today, so that should be fun.

My weeken is going **** lol. Have fun looking at apartments :)

*hugs Helen* Hope it starts getting better.
I am excited, hopefully I will find one for when I go to school next fall.

I doubt it will but thank you :)

*gives all in here hugs*

Ugh, I hate damn psychotic symptoms and my friends seeing me having them and doing nothing about it!!!

*sits in the corner and cries*

Having a weird weekend so far, I seem to be getting no where fast lol. At least the side effects seem to be wearing off, except for the sickness :( I will get there in the end.

I hope the rest of you have a great weekend.

Thinking about you all

Love and hugs

Jade xxx

i don't know were to start, everything seems like a climb up everest, there's too many jobs, simple ones.. i feel like i have no energy.. no want to do them.. im not lazy.. when i do start, o go overboard and drain myself out, the front needs painting, the hedges, the back room needs clearing, cus i fire everything in there, clean stuff, the lawns need mowing, the onions is a simple job,.. there on the window ready this last 3 weeks.. coal the turf, putting on a fire things i always handled with out a second thought.. i have gone to a person who never sat cus there was always stuff to do.. to a person who does'nt care about it anymore.. i didnt go to bed till 6.30am.. im a waster... just pathetic.

Haha I think you know about my weekend Jadey. The nausa will go as you know sweetheart, but I know it really does suck. I love you so very much.

*offers hugs for everyone else and feels bad she can't support anyone*

I've never been in here before, not feeling so good.

*hugs one step closer* welcome, we aren't that scary i promise.

*hugs mammamia* don't feel bad you can't support, it's ok.

*hugs lucy* everyone deserves a day where they do nothing. Maybe plan which order you'll do some in tomorrow.

*hugs Jade* nausea is nasty but as has been said it'll soon pass. Have tea and some ginger biscuits. Gingers meant to help.

*hugs yoda*

I've actually managed to revise! yay. And I was doing quite well with food etc until my friend got all stressy bout it and now its all I can think of.

How do you de-stress yourself without actually killing yourself in the process?
Near impossible.
It's 7pm and i've taken a bunch of meds to calm me down before i end up smashing my hand against a brickwall in anger. My aggression has peaked today for various reasons and i'm finding it very difficult to get by without doing something lethal.

Welcome one step closer :)

Yay for doing revision, fancy doing my two assignments for me?

How is everyone this evening? x

I'm tired. You?

i went away, and thought u said.. do it one step.. it's working.. iv 3 rooms, hallway mats are airing out side, it's nice and sunny, i opened all the windows of the house, the shed and lawns my car, il tackle them all slowly.. taking side chops.. and see what i can get done.. im going to aim to be in bed at 11.30.. hopefully, i want this day to look back before i go to bed and feel like i got some control back in my life.

i need some were to be safe to cry to be hugged oh god i wanna sh i wanna od i cant take no more criesplease no more


free spirit

Welcome One Step Closer, its calming in here and your always welcome. Sorry that your not doing to well at the moment.

Secrets, thanks for the tips. I am hoping the side effects wear off soon. So glad you have managed to do some revision.

Thinking of everyone else xxx
Take care and stay safe xxx

Love and hugs
Jade xxx

He's hurt another. I'm still hurt. Three others hate him.

I'm finally bearing the entire story to a friend. I want to let said friend know just how much he's hurt a load of people, but...God. Feels like it's re-opening old wounds

Hi One Step Closer (sorry, think I've seen your name before but don't remember) How are you feeling now?

Well done for revising Secrets. Sorry to hear your friend upset you, try not to let it get to you.

*Hugs Acrasia* Sometimes it's really hard to calm yourself down without doing something that will harm you. Try to stay safe, okay?

I'm also a bit tired, Helen. Want to be drinking but have no money :( Are you going to have an early night?

Lucy - Good idea to go to bed at a set time. Hope you have a good day tomorrow.

free spirit - You'll be safe in here. We're here to listen, hug and help when we can :)

*Hugs Jade back* How are you this evening?

*Hugs Dayna* Not really sure what to say, just wanted to give you a hug.

-------
I feel like my evening's a waste without drinking. Isn't that lame?

Thinking of you all
xxx

Thanks for the hugs Zowie - means alot. Take care of yourself also. Hugs x

*Hugs Arwen back*

*Gives hugs to everyone else in the ward*