hugs lia.
sorry ingoure what i posted. not important. sorry curls up.

Oh darling, I can understand why you thought we wouldn't believe you *cuddles tight* I know I'm not April, but what you said makes total sense. You're not stupid though.

Thanks Helen, don't know what I'd have done without you tonight *cuddes*

*Hugs all* I've never met any of you, but in some ways you're the best friends I could ever ask for.

These two had me crying happy tears *cuddles you both tightly* You're both very welcome x

*cuddles Helen and Mia and everyone else* You guys are amazing, thank you for everything x

Well it's true. I trusted you enough to tell you all of that and not one of you judged or didn't believe me. I can't even begin to tell you what that means.

We all love ya lia!

and nope, no signs of infection. I'll clean them incase and put a new plaster on...Kinda worried now...

O...M...G...
*lies down on the cold floor*
been working too hard and trying to do everything and have it all done at once... now I feel like I've been run over by a bus. :( but my office is looking better and better... that's good right?

*cuddles Sarah* You're very welcome sweetie. We are an amazing bunch really. I'm very proud to be part of this ward.

We wouldn't do that, but I think you know that now :) I can imagine it means an awful awful lot.

*cuddles tight* Yes that is good, always better to look at the positives rather than the negatives. Make sure you look after yourself aswell Crimson x

Heh, it's the 25th here now, so not only is finally single days in my countdown to seeing my best friend, I'm also 7 months fee of cutting.

*sigh* now that I'm not as overheated and exhausted I have to go cover the front desk and do the court run...
I meant to do individuals before that but no time to get everyone... sorry.
so to not forget anyone i'll just send hugs n cuddles to everyone and say I did read all the posts for today and am thinking of you all *huggles*

what are the first signs of infection anyway? I have a slight idea but I may be wrong..... :(

huggles all. curls up and hides

ok, about 50 pages since ive last been on, so will have to read through in bits.

well, a bit of an update,
- i started college and am loving it, and i seem to be a bit of a teachers pet :)
- i found out i have arthiritis in my spine, and they want me to have cortizone injections :/ apparently they hurt like hell...
- i went for an interview today for a flat in supported lovong, and i got it!!! move in 4 weeks on monday :)
- have started going out with friends a lot more, so i now have a social life :D
- have done well with the si, and have stayed on my mediation.

so all in all life isnt too bad atm. hope everyone else is ok, and i will at some point get round o reading all the posts, will just take me some time, especially as my dongle has broke and i have sent it away to be repaired, but will try and get on a computer whenever i can.

*cuddles all*
xxx

Congrats Hels. It's my 25 months SI free :-)

*leaves extra hugs for lia* <3
*leaves teddies and hugs and care packages for everyone and yawns*
hopefully will be on tomorrow

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Steph*Thats great news all round:-) And good news with your injections

*Hugs Kahlia* 25 months is HUGE !! Congratulations you :-)

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Shad* The first sign of infection is it feeling really hot and going red , then maybe a discharge later I think.

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Sarah*

Thanks Mark. :-)

*throws confetti for herself and Helen and anyone else who wants some because she is in the mood for confetti*
*offers hugs to all wardies*

How are you tonight Kahlia ?

Yeah, not too bad Mark. In a lot of pain in my R arm but otherwise not too bad. How are you?

I'm anxious at my parents but it's only for one more night , I want to injure perhaps because I can't whilst I'm here but I'm not massivly depressed just quite anxious heh . Still worried quite a lot about my friend but she texted me this morning , still concerned though . Hmm can you take pain meds for your arm ?

Thanks Kahlia, was really honoured that you'd remembered when it turned 25th in Aus, because obviously we hadn't quite got there yet here in the UK :p But we have now (obviously).

Steph, good to hear all your good news :)

*hugs ward*

Aaaaaaaargh!!!!! Someone please make this stop please.=(

*Hugs Jill* Whats happening ? are you okay?

Talk to us, Jill. We're here for you.

The devil is strong i am weak cant fight it anymore
not safe

*Hugs Ryuu* Don't listen to the devil Ryuu , You can fight it. Put some music on loud and really focus on it .

RYUU, you are strong because you continually fight this. I know that you can do it.

I cant have my music too loud because am home alone and i have to hear the phone if it rings

am scared i might do something to myself

*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Ryuu*Keep talking to us here if you find it helps , you are strong .

*Hugs Nicole* How are you today?

*Hugs Lindsay*How are you too?

*hugs mark* i'm good thanks, although still cold :/ how about you?
*hugs april cause i spies you*

*Hugs Nicole* I'm coping although still anxious/stressed by being at my parents . the fact that I know I shoulden't injure whilst here is at the forefront of my mind I guess . But okay , not overly freaked out just on edge , sorry if that makes no sense.

*Spots and Hugs April*

Hehe yup, just trying to catch up on posts. My comp is being an asshat at the moment, really slow and stupid when it comes to scrolling down/new tabs/typing. It's infuriating!!! >:(

Anyway. Can't do individuals 'cause there have been so many posts since I last posted!! But I'm glad of that. Means the ward is back to being active again, which makes me a happy panda. :)

Jarrod's working both days this weekend, which makes me a sad panda. :( So I have no one to hang out with, because my dad is ill with a slight cold so I don't want to go over there (parents' house) in case I catch it... don't want to get sick. I am going to put it off as long as possible, ahahaha... >_< Ugh. Hate being ill. :( Anyway. So any of you want to be teleported over here? We can go to a booksale today, then tomorrow.... hmmm... not sure what we'd do then but we could figure out something!!! :) And you could even sleep on our couch so you wouldn't have to teleport back to your house/flat/dwellingplace... :P Sooo... any takers?? :P

Blah. Just lonely. Again. Still. :'(

*hugs mark* that makes sense hun, and i understand how you feel with not being able to injure while there, i couldnt at my dads, i live with my mum so its kinda different, but i suppose sometimes its a good thing, it keeps you safe at least.x

OOhhh April lets!!!! Booksale's let's teleport me and go :D

yay i'll be telported :D eurgh all i can smell is weed and burning :/

Ooooh we could have a party!!! :D 'Kay, Nicole and Mark, teleportation incoming... ;)

(I wish... :( ...that would be beyond awesome.)

lol april-i know! hmm, i think i've just agreed to make out with a girl on video :/

Cuddles all. Today is so stressful just want to hurt. I swear this place is either going send me early grave or to drink, deff think I need one today.aaaargh!!!!!!!

wow its been really busy in here. No time for individuals but...

*throws confetti for kahlia and helen* congrats you two!!

My rents are coming today so i probably wont have time to post again until late tonight after most of you are sleep, but i hope that you all stay safe today. Nobody is bad or useless and i <3 all of you.

Off to get ready to go to the football game. Not as big of a deal this time, and no tailgating b/c i have no time for a nap later lol. I hope these allergies go away as i wake up b/c its no fun being sneezy all the time.

*cries*

Nicole , how are you smelling those things ? and whats this about a video , please make sure you are safe Nicole.*Hugs*

*Hugs Jill* Try to be careful if you are drinking today:S

*Hugs Laura* Have fun at the game and with your parents :)

Oop duel post ! Whats wrong Nicole?

I cant hold on anymore the devil is getting louder want to get my tools
need to cut

*hugs mark* i'm smelling those things cause the cat broke the cat flap and my neighbours in her garden smoking weed and has set fire to a rug :/ (dont ask!) and the video-my friend is doing a media course at college and she asked on facebook if there are any gay or bi people that would be willing to be in herr vid, and i said yeah not thinking, then she said she was thinking she would have us all having a giant rave and making out XD
and my sister is being a bitch and upsetting me :(

*hugs everyone*

I feel like crap. I think I'm staying in bed most of all day. At least maybe I can work on my Chaucer paper.

Are you sure that's wise, Nicole? :-S Seems a bit odd of a request for a media course, but then again, what do I know... :-/ And goodness, what odd neighbors... :-/ Have you ever called the cops on them? *cuddles*

Mark, how are you doing? *cuddles*

Laura, sounds like you've got a rather busy day ahead. Hope you feel better, too. *cuddles* Enjoy the time with your 'rents, if you can!! :)

Ryuu, you ARE stronger than the devil, you CAN make it through this. Keep telling yourself that. You can do it. I know you can. *hugs gently*

Felicia, sorry you're feeling so crap. :( Maybe you can relax for a bit, do some work for a bit, relax for a bit, and rinse/repeat? *gentle hugs*

*cuddles all other wardies whom I've missed!! (sorry about that...)*

So I've been to the booksale and then was a bad girl and went to the pharmacy and picked up some iced tea... haha. It tastes good but... :-/ I've definitely been eating toooo much sugar lately, and I'm betting that my nutritionist will be able to tell by all the fat that's been piled on me. Clothes aren't fitting any different though so maybe I'm wrong? dunno. Hope so!!! :-S 'Cause I definitely do NOT NEED to be any bigger than I already am, ugh ugh ugh. Sorry, mini ED rant. :-/

But the booksale was nice. :) I picked up some good books... can't wait to dig into them. Heehee. I love booksales. Mark, where WERE you?? I couldn't find the place you teleported to ANYWHERE... maybe you went to the wrong place by accident?... :P Hehehe... sorry, am just being silly. :-/ Per usual.

Still lonely. Ugh. I think I will try to relax and not think - for now - about what I'll have for lunch as I've absolutely NO IDEA!!! :-S Want it to be healthy, not too sweet, maybe a bit salty... was kind of thinking salmon but I don't know if I want to bother cooking that up all by myself. :( That's the worst part about being alone/cooking... there's no one to share the meals with. Like yesterday's pancakes. Ugh.

*hides in the warren where no one can find her* :'(

*spots April hiding* I love booksales! I'm so jealous. Of course, I'll have access to a week long booksale next week (YAY banned book week!)
I'm sure the tea won't hurt you. *hugs*

So... I'm trying to write my paper. I have the intro down lol. That's it.
Also, next Thursday, I volunteered to read a passage from a book for Banned Book Week. So... either The Awakening or A Room with A View, cause I love those two... but I can't decide.

Cuddles all. Wow that was a day from hell from start to finish. don't know what was going on today, but that sucked.
Mark: don't worry about me, by the time I get home I be lucky if I'm not sleeping within 2mins. Either that or just have on mouthfull and fall asleep. Lol