I like Sundays, the way I can get out of bed at 11am and not have a panic attack because I've wasted half a day because that's what sundays are for. Have a deep dread about tomorrow though I don't know why. Job applications went well, didn't quite do as much interview prep as I was hoping for but did get a cycle ride in and the weather was lovely, didn't do well again on the whole food front - grr hate food, eat too much.

Hana - did you manage to get out for a walk? hope you sleep well tonight. *offers nice cup of herbal tea to help relax* hope Tom shows you a little attention, men just don't seem to get it sometimes.

*hugs MammaMia* take care hun, be kind to yourself.

*hugs Zowie* they're not worth your tears or anything else, stay strong show them you're better than them.

*Hugs Mary Anne* Sorry to hear about last night, we had random people being scary and ringing our doorbell last night as well, scared my housemate so much she nearly phoned the police. I think I slept through it. *gives tea and a cuddle to help make sunday a bit less of a downer*

*hugs Secrets* sorry to hear you had a bad day, hope tomorrow is better and you get some sleep, good luck revising - don't forget, step by step, little by little, you'll surprise yourself.

*hugs Katricia* good luck with your mum, be strong

*leaves a hug for Ravynsoul when she drops in* hope you're doing okay

*hugs Dayna and Snuffles* hope Sunday went okay good luck for Monday.

*Hannah feels safe here, just going to curl up in the corner and pretend that I don't have to get up tomorrow morning and deal with a monday, the weekend went by way too quickly*

*hugs everyone*

It's Monday again. I dislike mondays. I have to go see my lecturer today about my assignment and I just can't be bothered. I need my bed. I just can't be arsed with Mondays in general. But I have to go, I already missed this meeting once and can't yet again. I am so tired. I'ms truggling but keep going happy. Hmm. Met some great new people at the meet on Saturday who've helped quite a bit today. But I still miss people- I need my dad. I didn't quite have the guts today to ask him if he left because of me...but he'll only worry if I start going on about them splitting for a millionth time and start giving me the "I had no choice and would you rather I'd stayed and people argued and got hurt" stuff =\

ARGH.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to ask for help.
But I need help.
=/

Nnnrrggghhhhgg. df;gkjdfkgjfdkhgjtkldhjrdkljryh.

In English? 'SHITI'M****INGTRIGGERED'. I don't even know why o_o;.

*Hugs all*

Meep. Getting a little worried about tomorrow. Both my housemate speaking to the CAB and going to the doctor's. She told my dad about my appointment as well, who told my gran, so I bet they're gonna ask about it ._.;;. And depending on how it goes, I ain't gonna want to say. GodI'm****ingtriggereddfklgjrtlkgjeklyjerklyjklrer klger. *Ahem* Anyway. Wish me luck D:

RAWWWWWWWWWR

My ear is being a **** still :(

Huh? What's up with your ear? Sorry if I missed that ._.;

I only just complained about it. I don't even remember posting that?

Oh, well when you said 'still', I thought you'd mentioned it before. Sorry. I'm being a dick atm x_o *hugs*

You're not being a dick hun, I am, don't wory baout it xxxxxx

Noo, you're not either *hugs tightly*

*gives a huge hug to both MammaMia and Dayna* Good luck with everything going on today and the fact that it's monday, have to dash - again - no rest for the wicked ;)

*hugs*

:crying:Can't wait to get out of this flipping house:crying:

*hugs everyone*

Katie *hugs* - how soon before you leave?

Hannah - *hugs back* thanks for the hugs and the tea; hope things are going alright with you.. you said you had a deep dread about today; hope it passes.

Dayna - *hugs* hope the triggeredness passes soon... good luck with your appointments today; I hope they both go well.

Helen - how are things now? sorry that you've been having a rough day... i dislike mondays too!

Katrica - hopefully soon your mom will ease up a bit and not get so freaked out.. sorry that's been happening though.. how's your day going today?

Secrets - sorry to hear about your rough day! how are things going now? Hope the triggeredness passes quickly.

Hana - glad to hear you had wonderful times at church. It's not too much to ask for Tom to spend time with you without the 360; are you able to talk to him about?

Mary Anne - thanks for asking... I've updated below.. I would have been scared too with a stranger banging on the door; eeks! How is work going today? Hope your sunday was better than you thought..

Zowie - *cuddles* you deserve better than that hun! Also, I never replied to your previous post; I wanted to say that it was great that you had a nice time with your other friends watching movies the other night. Hope things are going ok.

*leaves hugs for everyone else who hasn't checked in recently - hope things are ok*

--
Sorry that I haven't been around much over the last bit; I have been in a weird place emotionally.. at times I feel so low that I'm nearly ready to give up, and then other times I'm just neutral and somewhat empty. not sure what's going on.

*nips in for a quick snooze on the couch*

like everyone else I think Mondays are rubbish!

*leaves lots of hugs, tea and biscuits*

Just wanted to let you all know I am thinking of you

will be back later.x.

Thanks for the support everyone. I still feel miserable and angry but I am feeling proud of myself as I am two months free today!
I decided you were all right, they aren't worth my tears and certainly aren't worth throwing away two months of recovery just because they are all c***s. So there :P x

*curls up in the corner*

I can't face the world today, I think Ive finally broken

*hugs secrets and katricia*

*hugs all*

I **** everything up. I was supossed to see my lecturer again today as I didn't go to a meeting with her last week, and what do I do? Miss it again. Then I missed her lecture at the same time. Well done Helen. Another lecture you've gone & missed. *rolls eyes* I had an email from my combined honours programme leader today, abouyt the email I sent to my lecturer (who's a senoir tutor) and she's asked me to see somone else, who will then decide if I need to go see the programme leader aswell. I think it's to decide how to help me get back on track with assignments and she's concerned about me missing lectures too- opps. I've only missed two so far this term which is a better start already I suposse :S But we'll see how we progress.

curls up and crys in the corner, argh cant take much more of this, hits head aganst wall

I think the world should just give us all a bit of a f***ing break (can I say that?) either that or the world should be doling out hugs and endorphins by the dozen to make us feel better. I think we should manufacture vitamin D.

*Hugs Shell* keep trying to find a way past the neutrality and sadness to something better, you deserve it.

*hugs Zowie* good for you - wish I was that strong

*tucks Secrets into a blanket and gives her a gentle squeeze* hope you're okay hun.

*Hugs Katricia* I think I'd be scared shitless of being diagnosed, I much prefer burying my head in the sand and pretending that I don't have a problem, of course that coping mechanism is no better than SI :confused: Good luck diagnosing the diagnosis

*hugs MammaMia* sorry to hear you missed your meeting, hopefully you can re-arrange and you get it all sorted, University is worth it in the end even if you sometimes feel like you're wading through cement to get anywhere, you can do it :-)

*hugs shadowedsoul and offers a cuppa* if you wanna talk you know you can here.

Right, am procrastinating again have to get some interview prep before I head off dancing, oh if only I can pull this interview off....thursday, I need a little bit of luck and a little miracle. Keep going peeps we can all do it.

Thanks wildly insane, I'll just go see her when I'm in on Wednesday if I get chance :) Uni is like walking through cemet at the moment haha, well it feels bit like it...