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risenfromperdition 28-06-2012 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire hearts (Post 3276849)
I don't know, because I don't know why I hurt myself while out of it sometimes and not others. But the people I'll be with don't know anything and I can't tell them. Thing is, when I'm not dissociating I don't want to hurt myself, it only happens when I'm somehow not in control of myself :( I wish I didn't have to go.
How are you doing Laura? Did you hear back from the special unit yet? *hugs*


i know how you feel =\ so bit useless but... <3 although i do wanna most times. but it scares me when it happens.
im around.

RootsbeforeBranches 29-06-2012 01:33 AM

The voice in my head keeps playing the same things on repeat, "you're fat. You're ugly. You're worthless. You're pathetic." - how come I would never let anyone else speak to me that way but I can't stop myself...

I feel like I'm hiding all of this and it's driving me insane

risenfromperdition 29-06-2012 02:04 AM

heads are stupid like that :/

RootsbeforeBranches 29-06-2012 02:13 AM

I don't like it. It keeps me from sleeping

YodaBearInterrupted 29-06-2012 02:33 AM

*hugs all and leaves goodies on the table*

Brownies and cookies and stuffs... all yummy :D

Besides that I am just going to sit in the corner and stare at th wall

RootsbeforeBranches 29-06-2012 02:39 AM

mmmbrownies - Hey Matt, wanna watch some old school Disney movies instead of staring at the wall? I promise I won't sing along too loud.

happiness...its all a lie 29-06-2012 10:07 AM

checks in for the day!!

midnightphoenix 29-06-2012 10:11 AM

Ooh did someone say brownies?

*gives everyone hugs and bring choc chip cookies into the thread*

Doikers 29-06-2012 11:38 AM

*Huggles My Wardies*

Drained....

happiness...its all a lie 29-06-2012 01:35 PM

whats up mark? hugs

im in a weird mood today i feel a bit strange

sapphire hearts 29-06-2012 01:52 PM

Checking in. Maybe permanently. I shouldn't be allowed out into the real world.

F*cked up again last night. Hurt myself without knowing. Scared my friends.

I just want to retreat. I want to curl up inside this thread and never have to leave.

*hugs Mark* you alright?
*hugs happiness* strange how?

happiness...its all a lie 29-06-2012 02:14 PM

hey hun sorry things are so hard for you right now. Have you got your wound clean etc. *offers safe hugs*

well for about 20 minutes i was feeling ok almost normal and yet for the last 2 weeks have been awful. Then my mum came home and said to me "i dont know how you'll cope working again you've been off so long" so now im ****ed off and want to be on my own.

Doikers 29-06-2012 02:42 PM

Just been low for quite a while Faye...

sapphire hearts 29-06-2012 02:51 PM

Parents can be a pain *hugs* don't be on your own, be here with us :)

Sorry you've been feeling low hun *offers hugs*

I don't WANT to hurt myself, I don't even remember doing it, it's when I'm all stupid and dissociated and then I come back and there's blood everywhere. I hate this. I'm so f*cking pathetic.

Am gonna clean them now

happiness...its all a lie 29-06-2012 02:52 PM

aww anything you want to talk about can always pm me if you like x

happiness...its all a lie 29-06-2012 02:53 PM

im glad your going to clean them hun, its hard but you will get better in time.

Im going to stay here im just sad and fed up. Nothing i do is ever good enough. I dont want to feel this way forever.

sapphire hearts 29-06-2012 02:56 PM

*hugs* you won't feel this way forever. It'll pass. And you are good enough honey.

I've just been losing chunks of time, I don't know what I've said or done, and three times now I've come out of it to find I've hurt myself. It started again after the bad thing, five weeks ago, and I don't know how to make it stop :(

(I'm Katie, btw)

happiness...its all a lie 29-06-2012 02:58 PM

Hi Katie im faye :) nice to meet you.

I dont know i just want to cut so i can show them show them how i always fail them.

Could you go to a dr or therapist to get help? do your family know could they help?xx

sapphire hearts 29-06-2012 03:03 PM

Nice to meet you Faye :) beautiful name

My family don't know, and will never know if I can help it.

I'm being referred somewhere to deal with the ED - not sure if they'll deal with this too or just the eating thingy.

I'm sure you don't always fail them honey, and you don't need to hurt yourself (hypocrite alert, I know, sorry) why do you think you always fail people? x

happiness...its all a lie 29-06-2012 03:08 PM

hey thanks.

Well you could always ask if they cant deal with that if their main focus is the ed you could ask them to refer you elsewhere for the otherstuff. Do your friends know? could they help?

lol thats ok hypocrite is my middle name. Because they supported me when i left my job due to bullying and its been a lot longer than planned me getting into work again and then now my mums making comments i also have a broken leg and shes like so what are you doing today? etc as if im meant to do stuff. My ex broke up with me and met someone else straight away i feel like a failure and my dad told me not to talk such crap i only said how i felt. Its just always something negative coming back my way. sorry ill shush now.


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