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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

ljmeep 26-12-2010 04:39 PM

well... boo... to being sick. :( I'm a light wieght when it comes to drinking so I was shocked I wasn't running into walls or slurring my words after two lol...

Yeah... I had to go from our house to my parents house to my inlaws house... so snow would have really annoyed me yesterday. So long as I don't have to go out in it... it's welcome to snow all it wants... :)

ˈsäləˌterē 26-12-2010 04:48 PM

Hey Kelly, I'm so glad you got some rest. If you like, I'll pray that Ty will take that much needed (by you) nap.

Sends you a case of soda and of course I care!
Solo

ˈsäləˌterē 26-12-2010 04:50 PM

Heather, I'm so sorry! I finally pooped out on ya last night. It was almost 3a.m. How'd ya fare?

You asked how I am? I'm trying!

Solo

ljmeep 26-12-2010 04:56 PM

thanks, solo... praying would be good... and I wish that case of soda was real :) ... speaking of naps though ... I think my 7 month old (Tes) is about due for hers... be back in about 5 mins :P

Doikers 26-12-2010 05:07 PM

*Hugs Ljmeep*

*Hugs Nicole* Oh dear , are you feeling okay now?

*Hugs Solo*

*Hugs Lindsay*

I've come back from my Sisters familys to my Parents , to my old room for a nap , My sister said I could nap in her and my brother in laws bed but I felt funny about that , and besides this house is quiet , just the dog and I

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 05:10 PM

*Hugs Kelly, Mark, Solo, Heather and Nicole* Hope everyone's alright. I'm going to walk my dog. It'll be dark in a moment, but I don't give a ****. Back later.

ljmeep 26-12-2010 05:11 PM

*hugs mark back* I'm envious... a quiet house sounds like heaven... lol.

at least I'm down to two children... well until Tes wakes up ... hopefully not for at least an hour or two. :)

how did you fair yesterday? good Christmas?

ˈsäləˌterē 26-12-2010 06:01 PM

Thanks for the hugs Mark and Lia. I really needed them. Sorry it's just virtual soda Kelly, but who knows. Maybe some real soda will come your way today. I'm glad Tess is napping! Ty will too. Have your third to do a puzzle or something. You'll have some peace and quiet for a bit. Just what ya need!

ljmeep 26-12-2010 06:07 PM

lol... thanks, solo. i did find a spare coke ... my hubby didn't drink :D so i now have 2 sodas... so I think your virtual soda worked somewhat ;) ...

I plan to finish reading Tempted today... it's next to the last book in the House of Night series and I love them all so far. So I'm hoping they don't fight nap :P ... they are eating lunch now... an hour early, but they didn't eat much for breakfast so it's all good :)

ˈsäləˌterē 26-12-2010 06:27 PM

Your welcome Kelly. It may seem silly, but I actually prayed for you to somehow come up with a second soda today. God knows what we need, even if it's something as simple as a coke. Nap time's gonna go well too. Enjoy your book!

ljmeep 26-12-2010 06:33 PM

thanks... and i don't think it sounds all that silly. I pray for little things like that all the time. But mostly I find myself praying for patience and strength :) ... And I will definently enjoy my book... I have one laying down watching tv and the other fighting nap all together (ty - 3) lol... hopefully he'll lose soon ;)

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 07:10 PM

*Hugs Elaine and Kelly* How are you both?

nicole94 26-12-2010 07:20 PM

*Hugs everyone*
I still have a headache mark, but otherwise ok :) it serves me right for drinking so much.

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 07:25 PM

*Hugs Nicole* Glad you managed to have an alright Christmas :)

nicole94 26-12-2010 07:29 PM

*Hugs lia* thanks hun :) how was your day? Did you get anything nice?

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 07:43 PM

It was good. I got a new TV and an E-book. Only the E book is doing my head in trying to download things and the TV doesn't work. I was meant to be going to my auntie's for dinner tonight, but she's ill. All in all, a classic fail of a Christmas :)

nicole94 26-12-2010 07:53 PM

Lol lia. I got an ipod and a new phone. Was supposed to be going to my aunties house too but my step brother is going and we dont get on so i am home alone :)

ˈsäləˌterē 26-12-2010 08:03 PM

Hey Lia, You asked how I'm doing? I'm trying! Thanks for askin! I got one a those e readers lately. It frustrated me too! Hope you're able to enjoy it. I sent mine back.

ljmeep 26-12-2010 08:03 PM

*seeks out a dark corner to hide in* dammit i screwed up! I so don't wanna hear it from hubby when he finds out :( ... I told him to remind me to help him put in his jobs and put in his unemployment claim for last week, but he didn't and I forgot so now we will go a week w/out his check and we are already behind on bills *tears*

The kids are fighting nap... shocker! NOT! and I just cut despite the fact that I've been fighting the urge for days now. It did make me feel better, but now I'm drained and feeling like crap again :(

yet another mark to hide *sigh*

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 08:05 PM

Have a nice night in then :) I love nights in. I sit with Nessa (my netbook) hang out here, write and think about doing work. I would watch my nice new TV, but no, it's being a prick. Ah well, what can you do? Well, actually, I can take it back to the shop, which is happening tomorrow. But there's nothing I can do right now.

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 08:08 PM

Trying's good Elaine, I've been doing that over most of the festive season, but you can have a good rant to us if you feel the need to :)

*Hugs Kelly* It's not your fault. He could have remembered too, you can't be responsible for everything. Does your husband know about your cutting at all? I'm sorry you couldn't fight the urge anymore, but it's still great that you managed to for a few days. It's a start, and a step away from giving in without a fight.

nicole94 26-12-2010 08:14 PM

lo lia. same here! I am sat on here and texting my friends on my new phone and listening to my Ipod (which my mum put a load of crap music on, so i need to sort it out XD)

ljmeep 26-12-2010 08:27 PM

my hubby knew about it 6 yrs ago... but he doesn't know about it now. He doesn't handle my emotions very well... lately he just brushes me off when i try to talk to him about how i feel... so i've kinda given up... (for full story feel free to read my last journal entry... it's kinda a long story to put on here)

I'm kinda responsible for all the financial jazz and the appt making and anything to do with the kids health/school/activities... in fact the only thing I don't do is hold down a job outside the home... he does that... and assists with the house and taking care of kids... to an extent... still mostly me :/

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 08:27 PM

No one's texting me :( I think the entire of my phonebook has died. ...Oh, reason for that discovered (at least for one person I am trying to talk to) I forgot to actually press send on the text. I do find that often helps. Did you get the Ipod for Christmas as well then? My mum wouldn't even try to put music on mine, she'd blow it up for a start.

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 08:31 PM

I know how it feels when people brush you off Kelly, it's part of the reason I no longer talk to people IRL because it just hurts to be rejected time and time again. So I hardened my heart and stopped displaying any emotion other than happiness to the outside world. I wouldn't recommend that's the way to go though. It can be awful lonely. We're always here to listen though :)

Still, you have a lot on board and can't be expected to remember everything. Everyone forgets and makes mistakes, you shouldn't be too hard on yourself for it. *Hugs*

nicole94 26-12-2010 08:37 PM

lol lia. yeah i did get the ipod for christmas.
And you can have some of the people i am texting if you want? im texting 6 people and i cant keep up XD

ljmeep 26-12-2010 08:39 PM

thanks... i do have one person aside from RYL to talk too... the prolem is that she also used to SI and I worry about setting her back. she's my bff and has been since we were in 4th grade... she's been struggling with her depression lately too so I don't want to lay too much on her... I don't hold back emotions from everyone... but i hold back all but happy and angry from hubby... i just can't stand being brushed off and it hurts :(

*sigh and deep breath* i think i just need to get away for a while, but there is no way to do that... not right now at least :(

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 08:55 PM

I know it does, Kelly. There's nothing worse than someone who struggles to open up finally doing so only to basically be told their feelings don't matter. It makes me feel like no one's ever going to hear me and I'm not worth listening to, so there's no point. It does nothing to increase my feelings of self worth.

It's good that you do have someone else to talk to, but I get that you don't want to burden people. Another of my reasons for keeping to myself. But a chat now and again could be good for the both of you.


I hate it when I am trying to talk to too many people at once Nicole. Last night, I was texting two, had two on fb chat, two on fb messaging and the same two on someone's status. I was also trying to watch Harry Potter and write. Fail.

ljmeep 26-12-2010 08:58 PM

thanks... it's nice to know someone else feels the same way... though i wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.

nicole94 26-12-2010 09:00 PM

I know lia, i always seem to be trying to do too many things at once! sillyme.
OMG. I just turned the music channels on and the go compare man has a version of santa clause is coming to town. :O

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 09:08 PM

Oh my life, I hate the go compare man. I, along with 99% of the population, wish to shoot him. There's a Harry Potter version of the 12 Days of Christmas on youtube.

It does suck to feel this way, but there are people out there who care. I have found someone who does, but I just don't want to tell her about the cutting I haven't quit and the suicidal thoughts because then she'd worry about me and I'm not worth that. And I'm scared once she knows all that stuff, she'll just turn against me and ditch me like my best friend did.

nicole94 26-12-2010 09:15 PM

:O I love the go compare man XD I am probably about the only person in the world that does though!

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 09:18 PM

Yes, I think you are Nicole. Everyone else has him 2nd on their 'to kill' list, after Nick Clegg.

Doikers 26-12-2010 09:19 PM

*Hugs Lia* I hope you enjoyed your dog walk ,I too walked the family Dog in the dark .

*Hugs Ljmeep*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Solo*

FlyingNy 26-12-2010 09:23 PM

Mark :) *Hugs* It gave me time to think, and clear my head a little. So it was alright I guess. How are you? How was Christmas?

Doikers 26-12-2010 09:25 PM

I too find it hard to speak to people Lia, I am terrified of rejection *Sigh* But I have you guys and gals and I don't know what I'd do without you .
My Mum was all like even though you aren't on the Antabuse anymore you mustn't drink yesterday , then procceded to down the best part of a bottle of wine whilst sat right next to me at Christmas Dinner . She , tonight asked us is we wanted a drink and I got camomille and spiced Apple tea and Mum and Dad are sat downstairs drinking Southern Comfort . I Really want to try drinking responsibly and thought that I would have my familys support but nooo now I have to hide it like some 30 year old naughtey child . ****.

nicole94 26-12-2010 09:35 PM

*hugs lia and mark*
lia-lol. I just think he's really funny!
mark- Sorry your family are being like that, its hard when they don't trust you, and what i dont get is they always say you have to gain the trust back, but then they never give you a chance to do that *Hugs*

Doikers 26-12-2010 09:37 PM

Gorgeous Version of this song , Nice and chilled out :) TBG is amazing.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS4fJPwBui0"]YouTube - Fast Car Cover[/ame]

risenfromperdition 26-12-2010 10:54 PM

*yawwwn* i've only been up for like 2.5 hours and just wana go back to bed. in my defense i didnt fall asleep til after 5 but still

ˈsäləˌterē 26-12-2010 11:15 PM

Kelly and Lia, unfortunately, I can so relate to your hubby n friend troubles! I too have trouble talking and trusting. I agree. I wouldn't wish any of this on anyone.

Thanks so much for the hug Mark! Any of you, feel free to pm me anytime!

ˈsäləˌterē 26-12-2010 11:22 PM

By the way Lia, yes you are worth worrying about! Isn't life rough enough without beating your own self up?

ljmeep 27-12-2010 12:05 AM

aww... feelin the love right now *tears* ... I think your worth it IceQueenHasAHeart <3

Mark... you're not a 30 year old nauty child, but I understand feeling that way... well in my case that would be a 27 yr old nauty child. ;) My parents hate my choices. I was terrified to tell my dad when I got pregnant all 3 times... he was so down on my choice of husband... Just know that you're not alone in feeling like you have to hide things from your folks. and thanks for the hugs :)

Cazki 27-12-2010 01:03 AM

Hey everyone

*Hugs Mark* How are you mate?

*Hugs Nicole* Hows you?

Hi Solo, how are you? Im Ian :)

Hi ljmeep, you ok? I'm Ian

*Hugs Lia* How are you?

*Hugs Heather* How are you?

ljmeep 27-12-2010 01:09 AM

we met yesterday, ian... and i'm hanging in there.. barely, but i am. i created my own padded cell (figuratively as in another forum not litterally)... got some stuff off my chest and am starting to feel a little better... thanks

MammaMia 27-12-2010 01:15 AM

BOO!!

Hope you didn't all miss me too much :) I've had a lovely Christmas & Boxing Day yay ^_^

Also on Christmas Day I made 10 months, so Kahlia was right in asking if I was reaching a milestone :)

I'm off to bed now, will post more now Christmas is over :D

ljmeep 27-12-2010 01:30 AM

*looks down and shakes head in shame* K... so I thought I was doing well at hiding my relapse from my BFF ... she knew about the first time, but none of the ones after ... guess I wasn't doing a good job... she already knew... it's kinda a relief though... *sigh*

ˈsäləˌterē 27-12-2010 01:32 AM

Hi Ian! I'm struggling at the moment, but I'm trying! Thanks for askin! How are you?

ˈsäləˌterē 27-12-2010 01:38 AM

I think it's great Kelly, that your friend cares enough and pays close enough attention to know, but also respects you enough to give you time and space. I'm happy for you that you have a trusted friend that you can now talk to as you're ready.

ljmeep 27-12-2010 01:42 AM

i should have known i couldn't hide it from her... she used to cut too... :( feel kinda stupid for even trying now.

Cazki 27-12-2010 01:48 AM

Sorry ljmeep, i completely forgot. Hiya Solo, your welcome, sorry your struggling *Hugs* and im ok thanks.


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