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-   -   A complete guide to chat. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181473)

sajhfuahuefghaeg 23-01-2012 08:26 AM

A complete guide to chat.
This is very long, but hopefully very useful!

RYL is lucky enough to have a live chat function. This means that when you click the link to chat and enter a room, the chat happens in real time. This makes chat seem scary to new people, as the conversation is usually flowing fast and the new user has no idea who people are, what the buttons do, or anything else! This sometimes leads to them abandoning a really useful support tool because they feel too confused and overwhelmed. This guide has been put together to help new members understand how members in chat interact with each other, and how chat actually works.

1] Entering chat.
When you enter chat you’ll be chucked into room 1. From there you can decide where you want go based on how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling depressed and would like some support, try room 4. If you’re a bit sad but would like to chat about random things to distract yourself, try room 2.

2] Introducing yourself and getting your bearings.
Once you’re in a room, people will say hi. If they don’t it’s because they either missed you come in because the conversation is flowing fast, or they don’t know you. Don’t feel bad, this happens to all new members – even me, long before I was a mod. If you’re known around the forums, you will be known in chat by at least one person.
People who are regularly in chat will know each other by name, and will greet people they recognise by name. This may seem really intimidating, but they aren’t doing it to make you feel bad. Try and join in the conversation, don’t just sit there and expect someone to say “Hello <username”>. If you join in, people will get to know you faster, and if you keep coming into chat you’ll be greeted by name too. If you can’t just join in the conversation, feel free to type something like “Hi, I’m <name>, what’re you all talking about?” People will reply, and then carry on with the conversation. If you don’t wish to be called by your name, introduce yourself as your username instead!
Watch how people interact with each other in chat – conversations run quickly and turn from topic to topic quickly, so try and keep up. Chat doesn’t slow down, so if it’s going to fast for you it may not be the best thing for you.

3] How to get support.
When you’re in room 4, you’re understandably going to be feeling rubbish. However there are a few things you need to do to get support properly, quickly and efficiently. Introduce yourself if people don’t know you. Ask if people are free for support. Don’t be rude to people. Sometimes you’re angry and pissed off, but don’t take it out on the people who are trying to help. It you doesn’t help you and will make other members less likely to support you. Please also remember that everyone on RYL is here for a reason – we all struggle with mental health and we make mistakes. We’re human after all. Don’t get too annoyed if people ask questions to clarify what you are talking about, they’re trying to help.
If you want to rant but don’t want any advice, state this before saying what you have to say. That way people wont waste time in trying to advise you, and you won’t get any people trying to interfere.
Typing *cries in corner* or other such things generally gets peoples back up. They can’t help you because they don’t know what is going on, and if they’re in 4 they’re usually feeling rubbish themselves. Try a “I would like some support” or a variation of that. If they ask what about, try and expand on what you’re feeling right now.

Chat has a whisper function which means you can select a user, and you can talk to them privately out of site of the main room. This is great for talking to your friends, or having a one on one conversation. However, there are a few things you should know.
Most people don’t like being randomly pm’d. This is nothing to do with you personally, it’s more about the fact they don’t know you and it makes them uncomfortable. Ask whether anyone is free to pm. If no one takes up the offer, try asking the main room. People don’t bite!

4] Moderators
Moderators are the people with green names. They can help you with any issues you have in chat, including people being rude or nasty to you. They make sure the appropriate topic is kept in each room, which means room 4 is completely serious and room 1 is completely general. Us moderators are no different from normal members – we all struggle with our mental health and from time to time we may even ask for some support. We are not dedicated to supporting people, we are not therapists or anything special. Arguing with us about rules isn’t really helpful – the rules are in place for a reason and we uphold them the best we can.

5] Rules
The rule most commonly broken in chat is the text type rule. Typing “lyk dis n stuff” is not acceptable. We have members here whose first language isn’t English, and they cannot understand this type of writing. Brb, lol and well known abbreviations are okay as they tend to translate alright after someone has explained them. Flaming is also a common rule that is broken. Please remember that some people are very upset whilst using chat, and although it may be frustrating when you can see what you can see and they can’t, there is no need to be rude to anyone. Just because you have been in that situation and you didn’t react like that doesn’t mean that person can do the same. Here is a link to all the rules to refresh your memory: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...php?do=cfrules

If you break the rules, there will be action taken against you. If there is a mod in the room, you will be given a verbal warning at first. If you continue to break the rules after a chat mod has told you to stop, you will be frozen, and if you carry on again you will be kicked. Sometimes, you will be kicked straight away, but that’s only if you’ve said something very much against the rules. Points (infractions) may or may not be given to you for breaking rules. If you build up a collection of these, you are potentially facing a ban from all of RYL’s services. If you see people breaking rules and there are no mods present, please send in a log to chatmods@recoveryourlife.com.

6] How to save a chat log
Unfortunately, rules are sometimes broken in chat by some members, and when you notice this it is important to report it. Rule breaking is anything that goes against these Rules, and include insulting other members, posting triggering information, and tipsharing.
It is firstly important to try and contact a chat moderator who is currently online asking them to come into chat. Chat moderators appear on the forum in green. We don’t bite, so come and find us in another room and send us a whisper with the problem and the name of the user we need to keep an eye on.
However there are times when a moderator is not available... this is where we need your help, by saving a chat log. Chat logs of bad behaviour can be obtained by pressing the button indicated by the arrow:

This log will be everything in main chat and your whispers (not private messages in tabs) from the moment you log in. If you log out, the chat log is unfortunately lost. A save box will appear allowing you to save the chat log somewhere in your documents (Recommended renaming the document to something you will recognise). A simple copy and paste of the section of chat that you are reporting can be pasted either in a PM to a chat moderator or into an email to chatmods@recoveryourlife.com where the next available chat mod can pick up the email and deal with it accordingly. (Please please highlight the behaviour we need to look at – some logs are really long and it’s nice if we can jump straight to the problem.)

7] Putting someone on ignore/Dealing with trolls.
Sometimes people have disagreements. The person you have an issue with may not be breaking the rules, but you don’t want to see them talking. The best way to deal with this situation is put the person on ignore. You can do this by clicking on their username on the right hand side, and go to the option “block”. This means you can’t see what they say, however, they can see what you say. Please use it when you've had enough of someone, otherwise being snippy and calling people names will land you points.

This ignore function is also handy when trolls turn up. A troll is someone who registers to a forum just to cause upset and interrupt things. Save a chat log of the behaviour so us mods can deal with it, and put them on ignore. The more attention you give a troll, the bigger it will get! If it doesn’t get any attention, it will get bored and leave.

8] Seriousness
In room 1 and room 2, there is more general chit chat than seriousness. Most things said in these rooms are not to be taken seriously. No one is insulting people who feel down when they say “emo”. Everyone on this website is here for a reason, and some people deal with their troubles by laughing about them. If something bothers you, ignore it, or put the person on ignore. Try and join in with the banter, you never know, you might find something really funny!
However, if you are feeling sad and there are no people in room 4/3, this does not mean that the general rooms are there to support you. Please bare this in mind – the supporters are still available to be contacted are there are many help lines you can call.

9] Technical issues with chat
Sometimes things go wrong with chat. You may get a blue screen or a message saying “Authentication Failed”. To fix the Authentication Failed message, you will need to change your username, as you have characters such as * or ~ in your username, which chat does not allow.
Using different devices with chat causes a few issues. If you’re using an iPad/iPod/iPhone, the browser Puffin is your best bet to make chat run. Apple doesn’t like flash, so you may have issues using the browser provided.
If you are getting a blue screen and nothing else, delete your temporary internet files and cookies, then try again. Make sure Flash is updated to the newest version. If you have any other issues, feel free to ask in Forum and Community Questions and we'll do our best to help.

We hope you have a great experience with chat. It is a useful and wonderful tool. Don’t let a few people put you off of something that could really help you.

Bellatrix 23-01-2012 09:08 AM

*thanks Tiffeh muchly*

Fry 23-01-2012 04:23 PM

I like this.
It makes it a little bit more likely that I'll try and frequent chat at some point in future :)

The One Who 23-01-2012 04:40 PM

Thanks for this Tiff. Is it going to be put anywhere, or just left here?

LemonTangWang 23-01-2012 05:34 PM

Good to know

sajhfuahuefghaeg 23-01-2012 07:23 PM


Originally Posted by The One Who (Post 3114101)
Thanks for this Tiff. Is it going to be put anywhere, or just left here?

In the guide and will be stickied here, I think.

Left Phalange 23-01-2012 07:58 PM

I have no idea why I read all of that, but it's awesome you put in that bit about seriousness and banter :P

akita 26-01-2012 11:04 AM

I read all of that and thank you Tiff for taking the time to write it.


crazykat 26-01-2012 11:15 AM

Thanks for this :)

sajhfuahuefghaeg 27-01-2012 11:18 PM

Koriandr 28-01-2012 12:25 AM

Thanks for the tips, Tiff!

iejatguih 30-01-2012 10:23 PM

Again, bump.

FabulousMike 31-01-2012 08:51 PM

That's totally awesome, thank you for taking the time to do that.

sajhfuahuefghaeg 13-02-2012 09:04 AM

shrimpy 13-02-2012 09:44 PM

awesome you li'l emo (said in the spirit of room 2:P)

FabulousMike 13-02-2012 09:48 PM

I love that bump Tiffy!

wake up 14-02-2012 12:02 AM

soi go into chat, the things i want to talk about are apparently triggering.

Im already in the serious chat room. Yet i cant post what im thinking incase it triggers other people????

Its a serious chat room on a sh website, what do you think im gonna be talkin about...the weather????
It IS going to be triggering, if you dont like it, simple dont go into the serious chat room!

The One Who 14-02-2012 12:08 AM

^ Are you just jumping in, or are you creating some sort of initial rapport with the room? Whilst jumping in is generally the way of things in the more chatty, general rooms, I don't think you can just jump in with your issues in Room 4. Might also be an idea to say something like "I need some support with X issue, can someone talk?"

Otherwise, I agree with you. I think on a self-harm site people should expect that to be a topic of conversation/discussion.

FabulousMike 20-02-2012 11:21 AM

sajhfuahuefghaeg 20-02-2012 01:25 PM

You stole my bump :|

FabulousMike 20-02-2012 03:51 PM

I won't lie but i did steal it, for that i'm sorry Tiffy, but it's just too awesome!

FabulousMike 05-03-2012 05:24 PM


ASkatersDream... 26-04-2012 01:25 AM

Does chat allow full stops in username? im thinking of changing my name and will contain full stops x

squirrelspit 26-04-2012 01:33 AM

It does indeed.

Pi.R^2 26-04-2012 01:55 AM

As an incredibly boring anecdote, dodgy hats are also allowed in chat (this: ^), but apparently apostrophes are not.
*wanders off to share more mindless information with the world*

bitomato 26-04-2012 03:21 AM

Triggering vs. suicidal threats

Originally Posted by wake up (Post 3137852)
soi go into chat, the things i want to talk about are apparently triggering.

Im already in the serious chat room. Yet i cant post what im thinking incase it triggers other people????

Its a serious chat room on a sh website, what do you think im gonna be talkin about...the weather????
It IS going to be triggering, if you dont like it, simple dont go into the serious chat room!

I have had this issue a couple times with chat. I agree that things are going to be triggering, because some people are very vulnerable when they come on. However, more than once persons have outright said they are going to kill themselves and I have mentioned it to a moderator if I am concerned no one is talking to the person. But I've been told by one moderator that is not their job.

I am unclear if this was covered in the start of the thread, but I personally think while saying you are thinking about it is understandable- it really sucks to be put in that position when you log on. Some people obviously know each other personally and can get to them- but for me it is just not fair to expect persons to deal with that and for the moderators not to be able to help. I am prepared to accept it as is- but I would only go on chat when I feel emotionally stable most of the time because of this. And sometimes I really need someone to talk to...............I just would appreciate being clearer on the rules.

griddlebone 26-04-2012 03:34 AM

Yeah.....to be fair its not the moderators jobs to sort people out if theyre suicidal or not getting support....thats really down to other people in chat to be supportive.

Our job is to enforce the rules in chat and were not there for support, thats not part of our job.....we cant do anything either. If someone says theyre going to kill themselves Im as helpless as every other member. Unless I know the member personally and know where they live/can get them help there isnt anything we can do.

It would be unfair to expect that solely of the moderators, the job is draining enough as it is.

bitomato 29-04-2012 03:29 AM

My question: since when do mods pop into private chat rooms? I tried to ask the mod why or how but got ignored. It was just a generic message that was warning that rule breaking was being monitored.........something had just happened in the main thread which I didn't even know about and some members were warning each other about rule breaking and being kicked. But I thought mods weren't in the private chat rooms. I mean I am in room 4 and no one was being exactly serious at the time so I went into a private chat room to have a serious conversation. So I was a bit confused by the message.

Is that normal, or is that the warning that comes before the freeze/ kick thing- cause I didn't do anything!!

squirrelspit 29-04-2012 09:50 PM

Did it come up in bold green font?

Moderators can post messages that appear in all chat rooms at once including into peoples private chat windows, but they can not read your private chats at all.

bitomato 30-04-2012 03:00 AM

Yeah bold green font- it was really creepy. But would it mean that I did something or was it a general warning. Or maybe to the person I was talking to?

griddlebone 30-04-2012 06:50 PM

It was a general warning and appears in all areas of chat.

LostHeart 08-05-2012 12:51 AM


Wished mine worked.

griddlebone 08-05-2012 01:29 AM

I dont think chat will work for you because of the hearts in your name.x

sajhfuahuefghaeg 26-07-2012 12:29 AM

PaperKlip 10-08-2012 10:36 AM

So I wasn't sure where to put this but I figure here is as good a place as any.

I was thinking that maybe people need to be reminded that in room 4, people can discuss triggering things and I want to ask if I am right in suggesting that if people are finding what somebody is wanting to discuss in room 4 triggering, that it is up to them to move rooms and that just because they find it triggering, does not mean that it can't be discussed if somebody needs support with it.

Does that make sense?
Am I right in saying that

sajhfuahuefghaeg 10-08-2012 12:29 PM

Yeah, pretty much.

As long as people are not deliberately triggering other people for the fun, room 4 is completely serious and all triggers should be expected. If you don't like what you're reading, change rooms or get someone to whisper you when the conversation is over.

Faulty item 13-08-2013 02:32 PM

I may pop in and just try and see how it goes, i barely make sense on the forum so im wary . Whats the worst that can happen. Im rambling.

Faulty item 14-08-2013 11:07 AM

Must admit i am very glad i did pop in yesterday, really welcoming people and distracting in so many ways. The different topics being chatted about really were different.

qwerty1.7 07-05-2014 05:55 PM


Anger_Fills_Me 17-08-2014 05:55 PM

Okay so I click on chat, a window does open up but it's blank. So I'm thinking either something's missing maybe a plugin or maybe I need to restart...? Any feedback would be great. I do know that my java is updated bc I had to do that to participate in online step meetings and those chats work most times for me.



lord of luck 18-08-2014 07:27 PM

it won't work for me. :/ when I type then I can't press send. I really want to have the distraction today and it looks great but it won't work. what am I doing wrong?

Alimad 30-11-2014 05:31 AM

Hi, sorry im new on here. does anyone know what times chat is online?

talaiporia 30-11-2014 05:48 AM

Chat is always online.

If you mean life help (the button on the top left) then it is very rarely online as there are very few people trained to use it.

hazimkazim 14-12-2014 07:59 AM

thanks a bundle for this great information man...good job

nufin_left2lose 13-03-2015 05:36 AM

When is chat going to be available for android?

Kelly_Lucile 07-04-2015 01:30 AM

"authentication failed"
I'm using google chrome and chat usually works fine for me, but today it's saying "authentication failed" every time I try to enter the chat room. is it down, or is something wrong with my computer or what?

talaiporia 07-04-2015 01:36 AM

There's a thread below explain this in detail - but you can't enter between midnight and 1am BST (you have to wait 25 mins).

whatever... 19-07-2016 09:19 PM

hi, does anyone know why chat isn't working? i always get a completely blank (blue) window when I try to open it :/

talaiporia 19-07-2016 09:22 PM

Have you tried a different browser?

whatever... 20-07-2016 06:01 PM

yes I have :/ firefox, explorer, chrome... :(

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