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like is our julie is the host like the body
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*hugs Laura* - Still not good. But good spotting considering I was having a go at disappearing in the corner.
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amy: ah, now I get you hun, sorry, slow on the uptake this morning. I'm the host sweetie, but i'm not really called kat, that's just my safe name because if i use my real name, it hurts more.
Laura: *huggles* it's bad this morning. switching all over the place and i dont know WHO i'm switching to. I just flipped at hubby, screamed at him in front of my baby girl, something i'd never do. But now I can't remember what i screamed and why. I remember doing it, and i remember feeling really hurt and angry and bitter, but i can't remember what about. I hate it. |
Kahlia - well i just used my visibility powers lol. Its the new thing, i make invisible ppl visible. Okay, enough silliness, its like 3am here so im getting tired. I'm sorry that you are not doing well. I think I read that you told your roommate about the urges.. thats probably good, at least someone knows.. Please try to stay safe. Dont let those urges get too bad *cuddles*
*hugs kat* im sorry that youve had a rough morning. I wish i had some words for you, but I don't know that much about switching and alters, other than what i've read in my psych classes.. which isnt that helpful when trying to talk about what it feels like. *offers more hugs* |
oh ok u seem like a really nice mummy
*sits* i'm sorry it's confusing i dunno why i is even here |
*sits with amy* here as in now, or as in here in your system?
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whole system
like why i got made |
laura, it feels like..like..i don't know. I sometimes get eye ache, or headaches before a switch.. it's a bit like rapid mood swings but all consuming. Sometimes it's like i'm viewing things from a movie point of view, sometimes it's like i'm in and behind the person out front, sometimes it's like i'm just letting them use my mind, sometimes i feel i have no control over them at all like i'm behind glass, sometimes i just completely flip and do stuff and know i did it but can't remember what is was i actually did, like this morning. It's so confusing, and if i think about it, i get scared. If i try and analyze it i end up tying myself up in knots and feeling completely insane and wondering if i'm making it all up.
Amy: I'm sure there is a really good reason. what do you do? do you look after any of the others? |
*cuddles Laura* - Thanks, try and get some sleep.
*hugs Kat - if that's okay* *waves at Amy* |
*hugs* thanks kahlia. i'm alright with hugs, it's just amy who isn't
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if the blue person reads this then talk to us we can help u help kat
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Kat - That's okay, just didn't want to give you hugs if you weren't feeling able to accept them. *big hugs*
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i'm listening
but she doesnt let me thats because you always come when she needs to be doing something else stupid. |
ouch, major migraine. see what I mean? I can't keep up *rubs eyes*
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amy whats the other persons name
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sorry kat i was trying to help
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*sits and looks at the floor* i'm sorry *hugs knees*
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'tis alright amy. kat had to deal with baby hazel and we had to get ready for church. hes nice, a bit odd but nice. but he made us promise not to tell so that he could protect us. but as he's out now i dont know.
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protect you from what
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the shadow thing. he gives us a bad name. he hurts us. he hurts kat. he pretends to be us but he's bad at it.
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the shadow could destroy us all. everything. he used to pretend to be me. he made kat's jack hate me.
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she wont tell you my name
shes too scared of shadow they all are i like being out i like having hands i dont talk but i can type i like typing for myself i could get used to this |
*waves shyly at everyone* sorry I've been off the ward a bit, just struggling atm. I have no hope of replying to you all, but I still care as much as I do when I'm up to individual replies.
One post stood out to me, a few days ago now, sorry again..... Quote:
Anyway, will try and keep track of everyone the next few days or so. *sits quietly and hugs knees like Amy* |
can i choose a name for for u
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i have a name
i told you my name baby needs a name she never had a name |
baby?
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*curls up*
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*Super Hugs For Everyone who wants them*
*Waves towards Owen* I'm sorry , there have been 5 or 6 pages since I went to bed last night , I've read some but I can't keep up with it all . SO Sorry The stress of everything caused me to cut yesterday afternoon , I just have had enough. Energy company bills, E-mail breaking, Benefits medical, Phone bill weirdness, Dr refusing to prescribe me my meds, and on top of all that I feel down and have no energy. Sorry to moan , I could cut again so easily now . I don't feel I deserve your support here . |
Of course you deserve our support Mark. It sounds like there is a lot going on for you right now, you must be feeling so overwhelmed by it all. You don't have to use self harm to cope though, we are all here for you. Please keep talking to us.
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*hugs for mark*
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*hugs Mark*
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Lindsay is right Mark. You do deserve our support. We'll always be here for you if and when you need us. There is a lot going on in your life right now, but self harm doesn't have to be the coping mechanism you choose.
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I overdosed yesterday, want to do it again today but I don't have enough medication. I don't know how else to get away from life.
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Quote:
All this stuff thats happening is freaking me out but I also am feeling Low apart from it all , I struggle to get out of bed , I'm just ........depressed right now , I have depression and know when I'm in a depressive slump and I'm heading into one now . I'm also getting Suicidal urges along with the S.I. urges :( They come and go, I don't see the point in life right now *Hugs Kahlia,Lindsay,JK,Amy* *Extra Hugs for Lindsay* I'm sorry to hear you took an OD , please be very careful , perhaps it's a good thing you don't have enough meds, but I understand you being frustrated at not having them , please take good care ok? |
*hugs evryone that likes hugs*
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*hugs Julie*
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hey mark *wriggles* man my back is itchy
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*hugs everyone who can accept them & then curls up tight*
Has anyone heard from April since her last post here last night, getting worried... |
*Hands Julie a scratching stick*
*Hugs Helen* |
*hugs Mark* How you feeling?
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Quote:
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How am I feeling ? Man thats a tough question , I'm flat , empty and depressed , sorry to bring the mood down.
How are you feeling Helen? any better? |
oooo scratchy stich *use it to itch my back*
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I'm sorry I missed Aprils last post do you know what page it's on? I'll check it out , there were so many posts last night that I coulden't keep up when I logged back on .....
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*offers scratching stick around*
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Julie, that's okay. How you feeling honey??
Mark, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I'm feeling pretty bad too. Feeling pretty anxious & still feeling bit suicidal and really drained. So you're not alone. We'll get through all this somehow. She last posted on page 1233 I think. As Laura replied to me after my replies to April. |
I read Aprils latest post on her R/V Thread , I'm worried now too . She will probably come back here this evening , I THINK she is 5 hours behind us in the UK and could be at her parents so maybe can't get online so easily.
I spot an Oliver !! *Hugs* how are you? |
*hugs knees and shakes head* i'm fine
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Mark, that's a good point.
Julie, you sure you're fine? :( |
*hugs knees tighter and shakes head* um....
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