*Hugs everyone* How are you all?

Utter Utter Failure ! One more scar who ****ing cares? I just hate myself .FFS!.

*Hugs Mark* Don't hate yourself for it, it's an addiction. We've all been there, most of us still are. No one's completely free. I certainly don't hate you.

*Hugs Lia* I realy hate myself , really , and I know (In the rational part of my mind that it's the Depression talking but it's SO convincing , I'm not feeling rational . I am Utterly Sober , I hate being sober , I have had to take 2 Diaz today for Anxiety and such , It's been 16 years , enough already.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, Mark. I'm here if there is anything that I can do.

You don't have to answer Mark, but is your depression biological or psychological? (as in did something cause it or is it an 'illness' so to speak).

It's not something you can control, depression can get to us all. You should give yourself a break, hating yourself can only make thihngs worse.

Sorry that was sickening

Lia My Depression is an illness, It's been with me since at least 14 possibly earlier , that make it biological right? Brain Chemicals are screwed.

*Hugs Lindsey* You alright?

Please don't Mark. It may sound utterly ridiculous, but you could get in the bath and use red food colouring, as I discovered, it looks a heck of a lot like blood. It's not the same, I know but it might help to satisfy some urges. But having said that it could make them worse so be careful.

And yeah that's biological. We're doing it in psych atm.

I don't have food colouring :S I think that would push me towards injuring myself , *Sigh* Can I just sleep for a bit ...........please (ain't going to happen , I have to take my meds closer to 10pm at the same timeish everynight) so 9pm is my early bed time , I reckon I'll be taking it too.

Just a couple more hours and you'll be able to go to bed. You could try holding an ice cube or snapping an elastic band against your wrist (which actually works quite well- it really hurts).

Lia , The Rubber band thing....... Well I snapped it so much that I broke blood vessels and my wrist bruised right up , I don't think I'll injure again tonight , You are a great help hun *Squishes*

I'm really glad about that Mark, but just in case you get another urge...

http://www.selfinjury.org/docs/selfhelp.html

*Hugs*

*Hugs Lia* Thankyou SO much for that webpage , I have favourited it , Not in the frame of mind to read it but I read a bit here and the last bit

You're welcome :) Me too :) I searched it just now. Trusty old google.

Hehe , Trusty old Google , I've pretty recently converted from Yahoo to Google :)

Good. You have converted from the dark side. But you will forever bare the dark mark (Harry Potter reference).

Hehe , I was on the dark side eh? That could have been out of Star Wars too :P

Never seen a single Star Wars movie and I never plan to :P I love Harry Potter, it's the coolest to the end. Star Wars doesn't have wizards.

True , No Wizards . I've watched a few Harry Potter Films , But I think I need to sit down and watch them chronalogically (sp).