I'm sorry Mark. Sounds like a long day! Hope you can get some rest so you feel more refreshed in the morning. <3

The one day all week I need hubby home on time and he will be hours more I'm sure. I'm completely drained from today.

Hope your Fella rocks up soon!

Tomororow is a 3 year olds birthday , I wanna go home.

this was 2 pages ago, I'm sorry. I took an internet break. Sometimes keeping up everywhere is too stressful.

Because Kathryn asked a while back: I got accepted to residence and I put my tuition deposit down and got my student card. Just have to keep going to work so I can pay for my first few months at residence in a big lump sum. Going to work feels really hard but staying where I am now is unthinkable. It's starting to feel real and I'm getting cautiously excited.

*offers everyone handmade blankets* hope things are ok for everyone.

Drew, congratulations on residence! I know work may seem hard right now but just take it a little bit at a time and think of your end goal. You can do this!

Thank you for the blanket. It's beautiful :)

Today is going pretty well. Not at all how I planned though. That's both good and bad.

Thank-you :) I think it'll be really good for me.

I'm glad at least some parts of your day are going well!

I don't really understand what a residence is but I am happy you got what you needed ,Drew !

I'm fighting a sinus infection. Not fun. Sad that it's Sunday because if we can't get my son where he needs to be today then I'm worried how this week will go.

So for now... *offers warm drinks and pastries*

*sits down to color some more*

I don't want to be here again.i don't want the fear. I don't want the hate. I don't want the hopelessness. Yet here it comes.....again

*Offers Safe Hugs to Kathryn and Margo*

*offers Margo safe hugs*

I'm feeling really anxious today. I'm hoping it goes away soon.

So totally frustrated. I really want to give up at this point.

Mark - I feel for you. Your nan, the nephew. All of it.
Kathryn- sick sucks. Anxious worse.
Drew- wonderful news.
Yoda- *safe hugs*
Matthew - * offers squidges and chocolate*

Me, I'm just gonna crawl under something, Matthew got me back here so I is safe. Ish. I cannot stop thinking I ruin everything.

*Sits with My Magical Tea Machine to make anyone any Tea they'd like*

*sits with Mark* it OK if I sit here? I'm not much of a tea person but since it's a magical tea machine in willing to try a cup :)

Of Course it's Okay , Kathryn :) How are you doing?

I'm feeling done. I don't know how to describe it. I slept for quite a bit last night but woke up looking like I hadn't slept at all. I've got a million things to do and don't feel up for doing any of it.

I'm Sorry you feel Rubbish , Kathryn , I'll be be knocking about for an hour or 3 if you want to chat . Magic Tea?

Thanks Mark. I'd love some magic tea! I'm so tired of being a parent. Screaming kids all day today. Therapies all day. Scheduling appointments but the dates available don't work because I have another kid with an important appointment that same day around the same time.

I'm beginning to feel done with sh all together and more OK with just giving up completely.

May I try some too? I think I can deal with magic tea.
Its 5 something in the morning and I've not slept. Again. Am about to attempt. But YAY for meds tomorrow. Mostly. Shall try better to not run out with so many days left to pay day. Cannot do without this long.
Fresh home-made bread for anyone who wants it.

gross, I've got a doctor's appt at 1 today. I'm hoping my blood sugars and A1c numbers went down and I also hope I lost a little weight.

*hugs all in here and puts out more cookies*

Got put on new meds and they are pretty strong... am at work, yet I want to do no work since I feel tired and don't feel like doing anything at all

*sits in the corner again*

How did your appointment go Caitlyn?

Thanks for the hugs and cookies Matt. Sorry you are feeling so tired. Hopefully as time goes on you'll get adjusted to the meds and won't feel as bad.

It has been just go, go, go today. I'm exhausted. And now I'm feeling a bit paranoid so that's heightening my anxiety. Ugh. Not good.

How is everyone doing today?

Fairly Unwell , this bug is taking it's toll :(

How are you Kathryn? And everyone Else?

24+ hrs of meds has done wonders. My skins no longer crawling with the need to hurt myself. Only figured out what that itch was just now cos it's gone.
Unfortunately, have zero motivation to do my uni assignment. Started it. But so difficult to focus on it. Given up for the night.
Matt I know the feeling. Mine do it everytime my dose is adjusted or i go a week without. Titrating my meds up as we speak cos I cant afford to be bombed whilst I adjust to my normal dosage.
Mark, have you tried honey and lemon and ginger tea? If your flu-ey, it may help you feel a bit better.
Kathryn, I hope things slow up a bit so you can feel less exhausted.

I'm very thankful I have a calendar. All these medical appointments for my kids is making it hard to schedule anything else. I've had to decline dates again because of conflicts with other appointments. I'm so busy there is little time for me. *sigh* I really need to start scheduling stuff in like showers and taking care of me.

I am heartbroken. The legendary musician Prince has passed way

It's a very sad day indeed Caitlyn. :(

Well done for your organisation skills. Scheduling you time sounds like a great idea

*leaves blankets and pillows for everyone*
I've been on a waitlist for a doctor's appointment for almost 2 months and it's finally this coming Thursday and I'm so anxious about it :(

It feels like every time I go to the doctor about mental health somehow the message doesn't get across. I went to the hospital once for it and came away with a diagnosis I know isn't right.

I just feel like I'm too bad at talking to ever explain to anyone in a way they could understand. I keep worrying I'll leave there really stressed out without getting what I need :( I can't wait around forever for help.

Sorry for disappearing and returning to rant.. Hope all is ok with everyone

Best of luck Drewbles! I know the feeling of not being able to make the right works under stress *Offers safe Hugs*

Drew, have you ever though of getting your mental health down on paper? Your concerns, your history with mental health, that sort of stuff. I did this after going through several doctors and getting sick of telling the same story, as well as several frustrating attempts to open up to them but being unable to express verbally major problems due to paranoia.
I generally express myself better in writing. Some of the things I *can't* talk about I can put in writing, and others make more sense on paper because I tend to lose track of conversations and get muddled. My written vocabulary is better and concepts are slightly easier to convey and much easier to keep track of.
And there's always the possibility that if you have prepared what you want to say and what you want to ask on paper, the anxiety you have about the appointment might lessen because you'll have a reference so you don't forget to say things due to the anxiety of seeing the doctor. If that make sense.
Good luck with the appointment anyway.
* puts starburst and marshmallows on the table*
I'll just sit quietly over here. Still struggling with lack of motivation and now concentration for this stupid and now overdue assignment.

Drew, writing things down always helps me. I still ramble when I write but not nearly as much. Good luck with the appointment.

I hope motivation and concentration find you Eir! Good luck with the assignment.

I was doing well for a few days. This afternoon though I just seem to be going down hill and I don't know why. I just want to crawl into a hole and hide.

I ended up botching the submission. And it's a long weekend so I can't contact the subject coordinator. Ah well.

*Flops*

*crawls further into her hole*

Hey Guys , How are you all today?

My daughter has therapy most of the day so I'm being forced to function. I really don't want to parent today though. I don't want to do much of anything really.

How are you?

Just got Home :)
*Offers Safe Huggles*

Thanks for the hugs. *offers safe hugs back*

I'm feeling really done for today. :/

How are we all today? **Leaves a Jar of Hugs*

Struggling. I have a few friends going through rough times and watched a show that was unexpectedly triggering last night. My back is spasming out again. Just not a great start to the day.

How are you Mark?

I hate being unexpectedly Triggered :(

I honestly don't know how I am . . . .

*offers safe hugs*

I'm done. I give up. No more life, please.

Really struggling right now. Feeling a bit like what's the point in trying any more?

*places some goodies on the table*

*crawls back in to my hole*

*Climbs into the hole with Kathryn ( Whoa , I had to word that carefully ) and Sits with*

Hey Mark. How are you today?

Much the same . . . .IDK if that's good or bad or neither. How are you Kathryn?

Well you aren't worse so that's good, right?

I'm feeling a bit antisocial at the moment. And overwhelmed. And just overall struggling. Really don't want to be here right now. Meh.

I feel asleep. Ugh. Now I feel worse than before. Could be I haven't eaten much all day. I ache and can barely function.