Can't be bothered hurting myself? :S
 

Recently I've been fantasying about self harm and planning in my head how I can buy new things to hurt myself. Thinking when I'm finally alone I can hurt myself. But then when I'm alone I can no longer be bothered? I know that is technically a good thing because it means I'm not hurting myself but yeah.


It's also weird how it feels like I can't be bothered hurting myself rather than not needing to. It's like I have no energy to do it. Just wondering if anyone else has felt the same way and can maybe word it better than me, rather than me sounding like I'm complaining about not hurting myself which I'm not.

Do you think it might come from very low mood? If so I can relate to that.

Possibly. I keep having thoughts of 'what's the point' and feeling drained all the time, almost like autopilot.

I can very much relate to this. I spend quite a bit of time imagining what I could do to myself and making plans but when I try to act on things most of the time I feel too exhausted and like it's too much effort and like I just physically can't take the actions required. It does feel strange, when you want to do something but feel like you can't. Do you do this planning when you're not occupied or when you're trying to sleep etc? I find that having too much head space can lead to it being filled with stuff like that.

Is there anything you enjoy doing that you have the energy and motivation to do?