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*hugs Pam*
Hang in there hun. I'm sorry, I've got nothing for you atm... *hugs again* Take care chica |
Emma, whatever you've got planned, please don't. Go to bed sweetie, sober up, please..? I can't lose you or see you seriously hurt sweetie. Please take care.
*snuggles you* |
It wasn't a suicide threat hun, my plan is physically impossible tonight because it involves a location I am too drunk to drive too... how pathetic. I don't even want to die I just don't want to live like this and can't see anyway out. *cries* I guess i am just being self pitying, hope you are alright *hugs back* thanks hun, you have nko idea how much i could do with real life hugs x
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*hugs Ally*
Thanks for answering, I feel so invisible right now. *hugs Emma* *Clinks glasses* I'm equally lovin and hating the effects of alcohol. Take all the time in the world to cry. You will come out the other side feeling stronger. If theres anything I can do for anyone..... *shares belated easter egg I'm currently scoffing* |
caliiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLOOOOO!!!!!! We miss you!!!!! sounds like ur not loving spain too much but maybe just chill ot for your last couple of days? rehearse all your stories youre going to tell us when you get home?
ally im sorry bout your appointment thingy, wat a pain in the arse. its not your fault hun, youre just finding life difficult, and i dont blame you!! alexx it sounds like the hospital is useless (as usual) maybe go into a n e and start shouting at them till they take you seriously?? that is if you dont mind making a bit of a scene.... emma and katey, hope you guys are ok. hugs for everyone. i only got up at 12 so am feeling a bit better having slept for like 12 hrs, but i prob wont sleep tonight. im also going to make myself go for lunch, even tho im not hungry, cs i know wat it wld do to my friend if i didt eat. but still, i dont want to....i dont really deserve to. im wearing short sleeves today. ive decided i dont care. the counselloer has apparently had loads of old patients ring up for appointments, so she's full up, she only works tues/weds/thurs. |
Argh! I'm going nuts! Wait a minute, I already am nuts :pinch: *sigh* that revelation doesn't help much :crying:
:crying: I want to harm, a lot, deeply... fatally :crying: I suck :crying: and suddenly I'm not sure if my next session is Monday or Tuesday... I wrote it down but now I'm worried I wrote down the wrong day :crying: how stupid is that? Puh-the-tic *rolls eyes at self* |
its not stupid, i do it all the time, worrying that i wrote things down wrong, worrying i didnt lock my door, etc. ring them up and check?
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Yes, giving them a ring would be the thing to do... But I can't do that till Monday... And I feel so stupid that I can't remember.
Ugh, I am such a twit, I know what my problem is... Last Saturday I thought I'd experiment with not taking my meds for a week... A few days into it I realized that wasn't such as good idea... But I kept forgetting to take them... So here I am, a week without my meds and a complete wreak :pinch: Rather depressing to find that I can't do without them though :crying: Damned idiot, that's what I am... I know better... ...And I can't fall asleep :pinch:... Probably my fault again... |
thats ok, it can wait till monday.
a week without meds and you're still here! and still talking to us. i would call that doing pretty well without them hun *hugs* |
alexx, how are you? you seem quiet....
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*shakes head*
If I didn't have internet on my mobile there's no way I'd be talking to y'all anymore... I feel about ready to crawl out of my skin... It's not any fun (as I'm sure y'all know) wanting to die, seeing yourself doing it, feeling so awful :crying: Oh well, I took my meds this morning and will continue to do so... Here's hoping things get better quickly :pinch: How's everyone? |
Hey Chloe....(Feel free to tell me if I'm wrong and thats not your name...I dont CURRENTLY know whats real and whats not at the moment)
I wouldnt mind making a scene....I think....I got enough attention by crying loudly for five hours....I'd stop....then start again if anyone said something....or did anything... put it this way.... people soon found a new seat AWAY from me..so I ended up sat on my own :( Ally...stay strong sweety....we're all here for you...I wish I had more for hun hun *hugs* CALLIE!!! EEEEE ^_^ Missed you darlin'...please stay strong...only two days left though!! cant wait to have you back! Pam...HEY :] Hope you're ok hun |
Ohhh....
just to demonstrate how out of it i am :P I was out today... and it started hailing...then it turned to rain...and i turned to my best mate and went "ARGH!!! ITS HAINY RAIL!!" and I didnt even notice until she told me... I ACTUALLY meant Rainy Hail... :pinch: |
Well done on going out without sleeves hun :) Did you manage to get some sleep last night?
Ally, I am so proud of you for taking your meds again. How are you doing now? I am worried about you Alexx hun, my PM box is open if you want to talk about anything. Stay strong x *hugs everyone* |
*hugs Emma* thanks hun
*hugs everyone else toooo* |
Ooooohs...I'm nearly crying....Kinda...happy tears though...
The reason? My best mate... Jess;; says (20:24): your the person i go to for everything, my best mate, the one who can cheer me up in an instant, the one i trust with my whole life, the one who knows everything there is to know about me, the one i need there to keep me going, the one i want to have at every special event to come, the one i want to be my kids aunty, the one that i love and will always need at my side, your the only one whos stood by me through thick and thin and i dont ever want to lose that I...can't give up :pinch:..no matter how bad this hurts...I...need to keep going for her....but I'm already trying SO hard...and I feel like I'm failing :pinch: |
You are still fighting hun so you aren't failing. Your best friend sounds amazing :)
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ahehe :]
she is. i love her to pieces. i just wish her boyfriend wasnt such a dick...then id get to SEE her more... OH!!! GUESS WHAT!!!:hop: 2 days free.... :] and... Ive gone the WHOLE DAY without crying Thats...nothing major... but...I want to do it this time :pinch: So for me... Its a big thing.. |
It's a huge achievement hun, especially considering the strength and willpower it must have taken.
----------- :blink: I have been back on pro SI sites, ordered some stuff, and I am so excited...how sick is that? Thing is, I have to...I have to reach *that* point. I want to see it, what the inside looks like. I need this but at the same time I am kind of scared :crying:. I hate the people who won't help and even more, the people who offer half help...and then give up. There is something wrong with me. |
*Hugs Emma*
Awww sweetheart!!!! I wish I could give you a real hug!! I'm always gonna be here if you need help...everyone here is.. We know what its like and we'll never leave you or offer 'half-help' There's nothing wrong with you...you're just stuck in a bad place... but you can get out of it... and you WILL get out of it with some help and then..you can carry on with a much BETTER, nicer quality of life ok? You can do this *Hold you tightly* My PM box...always open ok? Please PM and talk to me? xxxxxxxx |
How is everyone feeling?
It's...really quiet in here tonight... I hope you're all ok!!! :( |
Alexx sweetie, that's a huge achievement, good job sweet heart *huge hugs*
Thanks Emma, I'm doing about the same but it's gonna take a while to get any sort of effect back... Going to start wellbutrin soon as well... *shrug* I'm not to crazy about the idea but c'est la vie I suppose... ------------ Oh Emma sweetie *massive hugs* what's up hun? Who's not helping? Sweetie I wish I had some advice for you, some help to offer... I don't. But I do understand... Please stay safe luv *snuggles you up in a safe, warm, fuzzy blanket* |
hey guys.
alexx (yes its chloe) im so happy you've got such a wonderful best mate and she gives you your reason for carrying on :) emma, plase be careful!! try not to let stuff like that drag you further down. i feel like a **** daughter, my mum just rang, and she was like "i miss you" and i was like, hmmmm....cos i dont actually miss them...oops. i should have been nicer tho, but it would have felt so fake :s |
Curls in a ball sitting in a corner and tries to keep from crying for the fifth time today. I feel like the world hates me i freaking give up why cant people just leave me alone...
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OMG I saw the Eagles last night!!! How amazing! :D
Okay, now I have that out of my system... *hugs Ally, Emma, Callie, Alexx, Chloe and Kit and anyone else in need* Emma, we are all here for you - that is not going to change. We won't leave you. I am sorry to hear you are all finding it so hard at the moment and hope that you are all keeping safe. *leaves a nice selection of fruits and cakes while I finish packing* |
wat are u packing for?
i want cake i want cake i want cake |
*tangles with chloe for the cake* lol
Umm...i'm glad u enjoyed the eagles carole :-) |
jeremy...fancy a game of Twister?? :p
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Hahaha...sure thing :) LOL
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Dont worry hun....When my parents went away on holiday..they kept ringing and asking if i missed them....to be honest...I didnt...and it felt worse saying that i did..but i didnt want to ruin their holiday. then after a few times...i just started "mm"ing and dodging the question. It doesnt make you a **** daughter darlin *hugs* *hugs for everyone* *leaves a plate of homemade cookies* Theres more than enough for everyone :] |
OMFG><
THIS IS HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT YOU TELLING THE ENTIRE FAMILY I'M A FREAKING SCHIZOPHRENIC NUTCASE YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH >< I'M NOT SCHIZOPHRENIC!!!!! JUST...F*CKK OFF YEH?! IHATEYOU:pinch: *breaks down and cries* *rocks back and forth* I cant do this :crying: |
*snuggles Alexx*
What's up sweetie? |
ARGH ><
my bloody mother! I was doing fine today... bit paranoid because for the past few days...shes been taking 'secret' phone calls...then i got a text off my aunty today... started off as general chat then she said she was "very upset i didnt tell her i was struggling and ended up in hospital and i should have told her"!!! ITS LIKE...MY MUM IS TELLING THE WHOLE FAMILY HER SPIN ON WHATS HAPPENING TO ME!!! ONLY SHE DOESNT LISTEN ANYWAY SO ITS ALL WRONG I DIDNT EVEN WANT HER TO KNOW IN THE FIRST PLACE SO SURELY SHE MUST UNDERSTAND I DONT WANT ANYONE ELSE TO KNOW?!?!?! ARGH >< Sorry....I dont mean to shout... I'm just really frustrated and upset about it...:crying: *curls up* |
*pokes the camp fire*
I'm...all alone..theres no one here besiiiiidesss me.... my problems have all gone..theres no one to deriiiiidddeeee meeeee... *stops singing* |
ARGH!!! EEEE :D
MYBFFJUSTJOINEDRYL |
Alexx, *massive hugs*, I'm so sorry sweetie... It sucks when it seems the whole world knows your business, your secrets that you had hoped would stay secret forever... *hugs*
*pokes camp fire as well* Callies gonna be back soon... *sigh* I miss my RYL twin... *pthht* :-p got a doctors appointment tomorrow... Not sure why but *shrug*... Also a counseling appointment... At least I think they changed them to Mondays... Hmmm... Oh well... *sits in her corner, knees to chest, and stares forward vacantly* |
Awwww:(
I have sandwhichs...would you like one hun?:) |
*hugs for Ally
Wish i had more than sandwhichs for you hun... but im feeling drowsy |
*hugs Alexx and Ally and Kit and everyone else too*
*takes some cake* Glad you enjoyed the Eagles hun, and thanks to everyone for the kind words, it really means a lot. Alexx, I am sorry about your mum sweetie, you don't deserve any more crap than you are already dealing with. Please Don't let your mum's actions and behaviour set you back when you were doing so well today, and remember we all care about you a great deal *hugs* How are you doing now Kit? Are you alright Ally? I hope your doctors appointment goes ok *hugs* x --------- I just thought people should know as well that lil-princess (the other Emma) who sometimes posted in here agreed to go into hospital today after some stuff went on last night. If anyone has any words of support I can pass them on, it would probably mean a lot to her x |
No way!!! :(
Is she ok? I hope she gets better soon *hugs for her* Tell here we're all here for her, wishing her well |
Will do :)
*sits by Alexx and offers ben and jerries and cookies* |
ooh :)
Thankies ^_^ *hugs* how are you feeling hunny? Ive been worried about you since the other night :( |
*smiles at Alexx* mmm sandwiches :-) sounds wonderful to me. (Though I'm already a cow, I should probably not eat but... *sigh*)
*hugs Emma* Thanks for the heads up sweetie, poor girl :-( so brave of her though, I am pretty sure I can say for all of us that we're proud of her. How are you, Emma dear? You have a habit of checking on us all but not letting us know how you are doing... You ok hun? I'm alright atm... Tired and a bit triggered but better than I have been... Not looking forward to the drs appointment... Always makes me feel flawed (not his fault, mine)... *shrug* Take care all, much love *leaves a selection of teas, coffees, and cakes to go with the lovely sandwiches Alexx has* |
Thanks for the hugs :)
Sorry, for worrying you :notsure:. I didn't mean to, just needed to rant and I guess get some support and hugs (which I did :blush:) I'm just a little fragile at the moment. Not sure what I want, if I want anything even, just....you know...too many questions and no answers and all confused and fragile. I am worried about you though. I am sure you have said but what exactly is happening after your hospital trip if you don't mind me asking? |
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nonono.... thats not truuueeee silly :) you're beautiful and amazing..so have a sandwhich... besides...they are only ickle...coz im childish and have them cut into 4's... so you shouldnt feel too bed :) *tries to be a good little sister by keeping you company* |
*hugs Emma again* dont worry about it sweety. im glad you're ok
Its hard feeling so fragile...but we are here for you until you start to feel stronger...you can do this...slowly...you'll start to find the answers you need. After I ended up in Hospital over night, the crisis team faxed my doctor, and he has made a referral to send me to a local community team. So I have to wait for their call (should be early this week) and then I'll know more about it after then so I'll keep you all filled in if you want... talking of hospitals... I was gonna OD the night before last...but somehow...managed not to... I really want to beat al of this this time round...but part of me is scared because i dont know what it will be like without it... stuck between a rock and hard place in a way :/ |
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I am sure you are not a cow *makes mental note to go searching for pictures so as to have proof that you aren't* Besides in my ideal psych ward all of the food is calorie free and therefore none of it can make you gain weight. So this is a new addition to the VPW :hehe: |
I get that feeling of not knowing what it will be like without it but I think it *must* be better. *squeezes you* Well done for not ODing! :) We will be here for you whatever xx
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*snuggles Emma*
No worries luv, that's what we're here for remember. It's an awful feeling, feeling fragile and unsure *massive hugs* lol thanks Alexx, still... Je ne sais pas *shrug* you're a lovely RYL lil sis :-D *many hugs for all* |
Yay for not ODing Alexx, way to go! I'm very proud of you, that takes quite a lot of strength hun. *huge hugs*
Emma, no worries, I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright. It sounds like things aren't too bad and that's good. *hugs* |
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