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*Hugs April*
Could you maybe take a Klonopin and go to bed for a bit , maybe you will nod off if only for a bit ? |
Klonopin doesn't knock me out anymore, or even make me sleepy... I'd have to take at least 3mg to do that and that's over half my day's dose. I am so ****ing tired though... my eyes are heavy and I just want to doze off, escape... I don't know. Thanks for the idea though, Mark. And don't worry, I won't take 3mg or anything... *hugs*
I'm going out to lunch with an old violin student and her mum, who are cousin/aunt to my ex-best friend. It will be lovely to catch up with them again, although a bit awkward as I haven't talked with my ex-best friend for a very long time. :-/ Updated my r/v thread... :( |
April , I have the same benzo problems with my Diazepam , built up a tolerance to it . I try to take it only when I need it but somedays I just need it a whole lot more :S * Hugs*
I read your R/V Thread and it's a good thing that you are trying to get in touch with a new therapist , It could really be a step in the right direction. Don't give up mate just hold on a little longer and it will get better , you've only got to deal with Uni **** for what ? 5 or so weeks and I'm sure you will feel better without that pressure on you. *Super Hugs* |
*cuddles everyone lots and lots*
I see April =) Not long got back from an RYL meet ^_^ I think my ear's slowly getting better. Can hear better out of it. However, when listening music, it just rings loudly & painfully, ow :( Still struggling away aha. Need to destruct so much. Argh :@ Got really anxious earlier for no reason, which has lead to me being all panicky & dizzy. Glad I didn't pass out whilst was out, that would have been a drama & a half I'm sure... |
I am royally pissed of at myself , I eat to much and I cut and all Iwant is to cut more.
I feel so flat , so utterly apathetic. Why don't I just die , it would all be better then . Hannah C Has a loving family . Mum and Dad have each other.Who would ****ing miss me? Hannah P might but she has been depressed , she would understand . Would she? She is all I'm hanging on to in this whole world , I love her and I don't think she loves me . Sorry......... |
Mmm thanks for the hugs and cuddles, Hels and Mark. :) I just took a nearly 2-hour-long nap and it felt so damn good!! My eyes are dry now (contacts) but oh well... sleep is my friend. It was so nice to get a respite from my own mind - I know Mark knows the feeling... do you, Helen? anyone else? Oooh and I spy a Mark!! :D
Mark, how are you doing now? Hels, I hope that the meet was fun. :D I can't imagine an RYL meet, what sort of place(s) do they hold them? They must be a lot of fun... I'd love to meet some people from this site but that would mean traveling across the ocean... or teleportation ftw!! lol. :P And I'm glad that your ear is feeling "better" ... although it doesn't sound like a great deal better. But I guess a little progress is better than none, ey? *cuddles* How is everyone else?? My hubby's playing WoW with the two guildies that we met in January at the moment... which is good for him, getting in some time with friends. I'd feel really bad if I always were keeping him from having fun, if that makes any sense. I think I'll be getting on WoW in a little bit... but I have hardly made any progress on stuff (uni work) today, which has sucked... so yeah. Boo hiss. :( Anyway, enough waffling... sending snuggles to everyone who wants them. :) |
April , I'm not too good ,I posted right before you just did , must have been tandem typing heh
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Awh Mark, I'm sorry that you're feeling shitty. :( It wouldn't all be better if you died, life is so much more worth it - or will be... but I totally understand what you mean. I wish I could say and/or do more to help you... I'm pretty rubbish at the moment about that. Sorry. :( Please try and not cut more though... you're worth so much more. *gentle hugs*
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I think I'll go to bed , it's only 8pm but hopefully sleep will be my friend tonight too April if only to get that same respite from my mind you talked about*Hugs*
*Sleep is the safest place you can be* Catch you all tomorrow *Group Hugs* |
G'night Mark... sweet dreams!!! :) Hopefully you get the break from your mind torturing you too... *hugs*
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hugs april, man i feel like ****, being a trieing and stressfull day. so glad it nearly over.
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*curls up*
:'( |
What's up, Hels? *cuddles gently*
Awh Jill *cuddles* Sorry haven't responded to your PM yet (or yours, Helen)... been a busy day, kind of. I'm glad it's almost over too. What's going on? anything I can help with? I spy a Crimson!! :D I am so tired... just finished up "New Moon" and I feel really bad for Jacob... :( |
thanks april, no worries answear back when you can. nah just the same stuff as before. trying really hard not to cut, havnt yet which is a start a guess. its hard tho, its like two part fighting each other, one say cut, the other saying dont. if that makes sence. meh
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*hugs all*
The new software in my phone seems to be working well. I've also re-downloaded and installed the Animated SMS software (my phone doesn't come with the ability to send smileys as graphics as default - you have to type the characters). I've put in all the dates that I think it needs and set it up with the tones that I prefer. Now I just have to wait and see how the battery performs. I see my pdoc tomorrow. I think he's likely to up the Topiramate dosage to 50 mg nocte. It's what I'd do if I was him. I've come up a little with the depression but now I've plateaued. Definitely am still depressed though. But I guess we'll have to wait and see. *huggles everyone* |
*cuddles April* Just struggling to deal with something. Gah.
*cuddles everyone else* Clocks go forward here in over 40 minutes =) |
*hugs everyone tightly*
Sometimes it seems harder to go on then it does to stop. But then I remember "it can't rain all the time". And so I keep trying ... *huggles everyone, takes Puppy SinClair for a walk and a patting session, then disappears into a dark corner* |
*Hugs shadowedsoul , April , Helen , Kahlia *
How's everyones Sunday? Slightly jetlagged from the clocks going forward? ( In the UK ) I feel numb but my arms and head are tingley , I NEED to cut but I am putting it off as long as I can , however long that will be........ I'm going for a walk ,try and shake the urge before it rains . MP3 player on and just walk about a bit. I hope you guys are doing ok :-) |
*cuddles everyone*
I have had far too much sleep :p Very very odd dreams :S |
I spy a Helen & a Mark!! *cuddles*
Hels, I'm sorry that you're not doing too well. Is there any way I can help you deal with whatever it is? *squish* And too much sleep - is there such a thing? ;) Just kidding... hehe. I know there is... it's just that I can never seem to get enough. Mark, I'm sorry that you feel like you need to cut... I hope that you manage to put it off for awhile. What music are you listening to on your MP3 player? Also, did you order a Superchick album? :D *curls up next to* Kahlia *hugs* I'm glad that you reached a plateau of sorts, although am sorry that you're still depressed. :( That sucks. Keep on going... "so stand in the rain, stand your ground, stand up when it's all crashing down" ... :) How was your day? *squishes everyone I missed* I am so tired. I woke up at 5am and Jarrod and I snuggled until 6ish... which was nice. :) I like snuggling... and sleep is good. Although I did have a nightmare, about my pastor and a guildie from WoW. It was really messed up. :( And scary. I HATE scary dreams!! *adult* Jarrod and I have had a discussion about sex... it's like... I don't let myself want it. I don't know. It's so frustrating, to both him and me. And I don't know how to get over it. I've been told by my therapist (the one that hasn't contacted me in 2+ months) that it's because we're "still newlyweds" and that it will get better once I get used to having sex (we were both virgins when we got married). So yeah. We've been married for nearly a year and a half (as of 11 April) and so I wouldn't call us newlyweds anymore, unless you're comparing us to people like my parents, who have been married for over 30 years now. :-/ */adult* Anyway. So that's annoying. :( And my eyes are tired, and I have schoolwork to do, and I really don't want to do ANYTHING... :( *hides* |
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