I just hate them. I hate that no matter where I'll be, my family thinks they need to invite their (as they would say) "adopted family" Like my grandparents that I live with, just told me their inviting another family and their teenage kids to our house because they consider those kids as more of grandchildren than they consider me. Wtf. How the hell am I supposed to feel about that.
And my mom wants her stepdaughter at her house because "Tara is the daughter I always wished for; but you never could be." I get it. She's prettier, she's nicer, she's not ****ed up like I am. Do you have to ****ing rub it in?
I don't want to do Christmas anymore. I'm sick of trying to be happy and act happy for these damn people in my life. Why can't I be enough?
I wish someone could tell me why I'm never good enough, why no one wants to love me, and why they choose the damn holidays to kick me when I'm already down because holidays are so hard to get through when all I want is my daddy back.

*Massive Hugs Felicia* I'm sorry your family are being so mean and inconsiderate to you , We love you here . I do Love you , you're so cool and such a nice girl :)

Thanks, Mark. I love you and everyone on here too. The ward is probably the only reason I'm still living at the moment.
But... I'm not cool :p I'm actually very nerdy... but I embrace it. Eh.

You are cool Felicia and I love you too. I don't know why anyone would want anyone other than you, you're amazing *snuggles*

*snuggles Mark and Kitty*

*Snuggles Sarah back*

Thanks, Sarah. You're amazing too <3

Thanks <3

I just went the WHOLE FREAKING DAY without cutting :) *Little high fives my wardies*

-hugs and snuggles felicia- We all love you my dear. I know I haven't really known you for that long, but I think you are awesome and amazing. I lubs yew -hugs and squishes more-

my parents dont really want me either they'd much rather have my sister then me but they have me *sigh* *offers hugs*

*glomps mark* mark that is amazing marky

Heeee Thanks Julie *Glomps back* I had slipped back into daily cutting but I just didn't today , I didn't say , "Mark NOT today" it just happened :)

*claps happily then dances with mark* now i must go wash my car wish me luck i really hate going out side
talk soon
i'm so proud of u mark

Way to go, Mark *high five* You rock, you know that?

*cuddles Kitty and Julie*

I'm pretty tired so off to bed I go
*Plods to bed and gets in*
*Night Night My wardies* I don't know what I'd do withouty you guys :)

-hugs mark- yay for making it through a day without cutting! I'm happy for you. :)

-curls up on the bathroom floor again- ugh I can't eat or drink anything without feeling like I am going to be sick. Not even water. :(

Edit: night night mark

Night Mark, and well done :D

*snuggles Kitty* sorry that you're poorly :(

*snuggles Felicia*

Hey Julie - hope the car cleaning goes well *hugs*

My parents would rather have my sister than me. They even said they wished they'd only had her.

-hugs sarah- thanks...I just think I am prego and dealing with horrible morning sickness. won't know for sure until the beginningish of january though. but it's very unusual for me to feel this sick. taking my meds is the hardest part of it it makes me just want to be sick. It's horrid.

My parents wouldn't want me if I was on disability. they would disown me. They are constantly mad at my sister but I don't blame them. I just can't stand my mom for different reasons. I'm cool with my dad though. It's just he doesn't stand up for me to my mom because he knows that if he does he will be in trouble and well he has to live with her. but I'm sorry about your guys's families. That is so not cool to say to anybody. -hugs and snuggles and squishes-

*Hugs everyone*

-hugs nicole- how you be nicole?