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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 03:48 AM

*hugs laura :)* how is you <3

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 03:50 AM

hi heather! *hugs* i am extremely sick actually.. which sucks as i kind of wanted to celebrate the end of finals.. but i have a fever of 102... oh i almost forgot to say, good luck with your final on monday!! i hope it goes well. how r u tonight?

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 04:00 AM

I okish. And thanks. Sorry youre ill :( feel better

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 04:01 AM

I spies a felicia :)

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 04:03 AM

I'm sorry...got really triggered by the movie A Beautiful Mind. I suggested my husband and I watch it together but I didn't think it was going to be that triggering. And by the time I realized it my husband was so into it that I couldn't turn it off and it triggered me even more.

-hugs laura and heather, if ok- sorry to hear that you are sick, laura, is there anything you can take? Non-asprin usually helps with my fevers when I get them.

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 04:08 AM

sorry you got triggered =[

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 04:14 AM

*hugs heather* glad that you are alright right now. I'm around if you need to talk.. on fb too.

*hugs kitty* i'm sorry the movie was triggering. Can you do anything for distraction, like watch a funny movie or something light? funny youtube videos? lol. or maybe just something relaxing?

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 04:24 AM

It's not your fault...I get triggered fairly easily. I saw many symptoms of my biological mom in that movie even though I havent met her but from what I have heard about her and the way she reacted when I was a baby. And I know I have the illness as well and I want kids so bad but I don't know.

It frustrates me to no end. I can't control myself anymore. The girl has gotten stronger. But I can't go talk to my doctor until January 3rd because he is through the school as well and I can't afford to go to a doctor elsewhere I don't have health insurance. So I have to wait. I don't even know if I will be able to continue school or even work a job. I have mentioned it to my counselor but she won't give me an answer...she just says "Well I'm glad you didn't just give up right away". WTF. Why can't I get results? WHY?!? Its driving me insane!

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 04:28 AM

Laura: I wish stuff like that would help me. I don't know. I don't get it. When I get triggered, it's REALLY hard for me to distract myself. I can't focus on anything long enough to get distracted. I lose sense of time and everything. Then the girl gets stronger and pulls me into dissociation. I can't even hear what my husband is saying when it happens I get that bad. I need help, I know. But it's infuriating because I can't just go to the hospital. I hate the united states so much because their prices for health care are ridiculous. And Obama's "solution" by making health insurance mandatory for everyone won't do any good - he didn't force companies to lower the prices to make it affordable to everyone. The reason people don't have health insurance in the first place is because they can't afford it, HELLO!

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 04:37 AM

*huggles* im sorry you have to wait to talk to a doctor. You can get back into control. I really believe that, but it takes time and patience and a lot of work. Please keep talking to your counselor, if it is really affecting you, keep bringing it up, eventually she will have to address it. I know its a ways away, but please hang in there to talk to your doctor on Jan 3. Keep talking here too if it will help. I'm always around to listen :-)

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 04:40 AM

Im here too :) for both of you :)

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 04:46 AM

Ty. I just feel horrible because I feel I always bitch and complain but I can't help it. Then I don't know what to say to people to be helpful when others need help because I don't want to make myself into a hypocrite or anything. I don't know...I've been told that maybe I should apply for social security disability but I just don't know if I should, because I don't know if I can continue school while on disability and stuff. I hope I can last until the 3rd, I don't plan on dying but hell I don't plan on cutting, either, but still wake up in the mornings with new cuts. Least while I am dissociated I can still bandage them. But it kind of worries me because...what happens when I run out of bandages, and can't afford to go buy more? :S

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 04:46 AM

And, I am always here to listen. To you guys, and to anyone. If all I can do is listen, I will. So if you ever need to talk, I don't care how I am doing, you can talk to me. xx

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 04:58 AM

hmm.. yea i dont know about disability and school... you'd have to do some research i think. your not a hypocrite though. I mean we all struggle and know that some of our behaviors are bad, but talk against them anyway because we don't want others to hurt. I'm sorry that you SI while dissociated so much. I'd imagine that would be very frustrating. I'm sorry, i wish i had better advice right now :-/

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:08 AM

It's ok. Thanks for listening.

Question...how do you know when your cuts are healed enough to "safely" take a shower? Like removing the bandaid because its not waterproof but not have to re-bandage it after the shower? Cuz I don't have that many bandages left...

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 05:29 AM

No problem. *hugs*

hmm... im afraid i may not be the best to answer since i always just shower like usual and make sure it stays clean using antibiotic soap. I take bandages off pretty quickly because its good for them to air out a bit.

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:33 AM

Hmmm ok. I looked at the bandage and it seems to be ok like it hasn't bled through or anything but I don't know...what should I do if its still bleeding some after I take off the bandaid?

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:34 AM

-hugs back- sorry I meant to put that in my last post but meh pushed post too soon lol

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 05:40 AM

well i mean if it is still bleeding i would keep a bandage on it... if it is still bleeding after a few hours, then maybe u should try to get it checked out. It could need stitches. Btw. this is just my experience... maybe u should post in the First Aid forum about some of these for the actual medical answers. I dont want to give any bad advice... in fact, it might even be against the rules.. i don't know.. i should probably check them heh.

oh and also: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=93

that is the wound care advice page. it may be helpful as well :-)

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:43 AM

Heh sorry. I can't go get them checked no insurance. And the last time I had cuts that wouldn't stop bleeding and went into the hospital all they did was put some cream on it and bandage it with gauze and some good tape and charged me $616. So yeah it sucks. Thanks for the advice, though. I will check the first aid forums to see if I can find answers. -hugs- How are you doing now?

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 05:49 AM

*hugs back* im getting kinda tired.. hoping that if i sleep i will feel a little better. will you be alright if i sign off and go to sleep?

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:52 AM

I don't know. I'm not really doing ok right now. But you are sick, you need rest. I'm not going to keep you here. -hugs again- Go get some rest. Hopefully tomorrow you will feel better (or later, depending on where you are located and the times). I hope you feel better soon. xx

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 05:53 AM

ok hun. feel free to PM me if you need to vent and ill get back to you in the morning. *cuddles*

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:55 AM

Ok, thanks. Sleep well, feel better.

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 09:48 AM

Anyone around at all?

nicole94 18-12-2010 09:58 AM

*hugs everyone*
We have the snow now :)

xxjuliexx 18-12-2010 09:58 AM

i am....

Doikers 18-12-2010 10:01 AM

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Ian* Thats really good news!! :-)

*Hugs Nicole*

*Waves to Owen*

Doikers 18-12-2010 10:10 AM

Today is a new day.
A better day? We'll see.
I don't know what I'd do without you my
Wardies *Hugs*
Love Ya'll.

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 10:14 AM

holy crap I hate dissociating grrrrrrrr. hi everyone -hugs mark back-

-hugs anyone else who would like a hug- hows you guys doing?

Doikers 18-12-2010 10:19 AM

*waves to Owen*

Oohhh Snow Nicole :) *Hugs*

*Hugs Kitty*

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 10:25 AM

-waves to owen- -looks at mark- you didn't answer my question on here...

how are you owen? Nicole?

Doikers 18-12-2010 10:43 AM

Sorry Kitty , Still low and waking up .
I guess different you need to take each cut as an individual wound that it is , If it's stopped bleeding I would take off the bandage at night to let the air get to it so it can heal , when in the shower DON'T scrub it , wash around it to avoid making it bleed any more . Thats just what I would do . Leave it unbandaged at night so long as the bleeding has stopped.
I'm not a medical expert and this is just what I would do , Please look at the first aid forum and ask there , they might help like Laura (I think it was Laura) said .

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 10:49 AM

-hugs mark- sorry to hear you are still low. Hope you feel better soon. Unfortunately I won't be able to be on much longer...my husband is complaining he wants me to come to bed so I had to take my sleeping pill :( Please PM me mark if you need or want to. Don't hesitate. You are always here for me, I will be there for you, too.

Thanks for the advice. I did post it in the first aid forum a few hours ago haven't had any response yet. Will see if they respond later. It sucks living in the US when this is mainly a UK site. lol.

Doikers 18-12-2010 10:50 AM

Kitty *Hugs* I'm feeling low , already trying to figure out what to eat for dinner so as not to panic about it later , I Self Injured on my leg last night , I've simple almost run out of room on my arms . I didn't choose to have depression, Sick of it , Sick of feeling so low , Sick of feeling like a burden to all you guys , I just want to cry but I can't . *Sigh* Sorry , I was really telling myself I would be more positive today but thats just not happened :S

MammaMia 18-12-2010 10:55 AM

Nobody chooses to have depression Mark. Am sure nobody thinks you want it either. I'm sorry you cut last night, please look after your wound(s). You're not a burden and don't be so hard on yourself for not being more positive. You can't force these things, they take practice.... *hugs*

Doikers 18-12-2010 10:55 AM

*Spots and Hugs Helen* How are you?
EDIT:- Hey we posted together , sorry Helen , I withdraw my "spots" but leave my "Hugs"

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 10:58 AM

-hugs mark tight- I'm sorry. I totally know how you feel can relate so much. You definitely aren't a burden, mark. If you are a burden, then I dont know what I am because I bitch more than you do. By the way, for the record, I really dont mean to do that, either. I can't help it. I really hope you feel better, mark. You are amazingly awesome like others have said. You have helped me so much I can't begin to describe. I wish I was able to help people like you do. Did you dress your wound(s)? Take care of yourself buddy like I said feel free to PM me any time if I am not on when you PM I will respond as soon as I can. -hugs again-

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 11:00 AM

Hey helen how are you doing? -hugs-

MammaMia 18-12-2010 11:02 AM

*hugs Mark & Kitty*

I'm okay. We've tons of snow & more's coming down :D

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 11:11 AM

Sorry one more rant for the night. I have to get this off my chest before I go to bed.

Some asshole really upset me on facebook tonight. I had posted a status about annoying people posting pro animal crap all day long...don't get me wrong, I love animals, but when people post crap like that ALL DAY its annoying! Anyway this guy was on my friends list for a facebook game I play and he posted something that really hurt me. I would go into explaining it but I am so tired I'm just gunna cheat and copy and paste :D

The following content has been hidden - Reason : could be triggering to some
  • Him: Dolphins are intellegent... on rye bread, with mayo... :D3 hours ago LikeUnlike

  • Me: ‎...ok...I like dolphins..

  • Him: Me too. On rye bread.

  • Me: That's not funny...I really do like dolphins. I would never eat them. And dolphins mean a lot to me for personal reasons, so I'd appreciate if you don't make jokes about them to me again. Kthx.3 hours ago LikeUnlike
    It's a joke, I'd never eat a dolphin - it was to piss off the PETA people that you're referring to :DMe:

  • Yeah, that's exactly it. It's a joke. About an animal that means a lot to me. I don't appreciate people making jokes about **** like that. I know you didn't know. But I informed you. And you still find it funny? A simple "sorry, won't happen again" would have sufficed.

  • Him:
    Lol I'm not censoring myself to please you or anyone else lady. Get ****ed.

-sighs- I'm going to bed now can't stay up my husband is bitching. Take care everyone, if you need me, PM me. xx

MammaMia 18-12-2010 11:34 AM

Unfortunately Kitty people will make jokes about things that are personal to us or offend us, regardless of whether they know or not. Unlikely to censor themselves too, they don't have to. But if they are a proper friend, they wouldn't do it around you. If that makes sense?

Like a close friend of mine has a habit of joking about rape, knows it really upsets me and makes an immense effort not to do it around me. I'd like it if she stopped altogether but I can't force her to....

FlyingNy 18-12-2010 11:39 AM

*Hugs all*

Kitty, try not to listen to him, some people are just idiots who have nothing better to do with their lives than upset others. I've had several experiences with those people, and Mark had one on the forums a couple of weeks back.

Hey Helen :) It's snowing a little here too, but I don't want it to because I'm going to London on the train tomorrow and I will never get there if it snows too much. It can snow all it likes Christmas eve when I no longer have anywhere to go.

School's out for Christmas now and it feels weird. How can it be so close to Christmas? I actually like school, it's the only place I have ever really belonged and I feel accepted there. I don't want to leave and I have no idea what I am gonna do on my last day. I will flood the entire school with my tears, and I don't cry in front of people.

How is everyone else today?

MammaMia 18-12-2010 11:41 AM

*hugs Lia* Hope you get to London safely. Got any plans? :D

Doikers 18-12-2010 11:50 AM

Ignore That person Kitty , some people are just not worth getting upset over like Lia said I had one person upset me and it wasn't worth my energy to be upset.*Hugs*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Lia* I hope you are able to get to London okay:)

xxjuliexx 18-12-2010 11:53 AM

cant sleep hopefully sleep soon

Doikers 18-12-2010 11:57 AM

OH Nuts Owen :S Why are you having trouble sleeping do you think?

xxjuliexx 18-12-2010 12:18 PM

it' 1:18 am i just cant sleep -clutches the teddy-

Doikers 18-12-2010 12:39 PM

Hmmm , Owen Could you make yourself some warm milk to drink , That might help?

Doikers 18-12-2010 12:44 PM

I'm going to go to bed , just for a little while .

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