*walks in and sits down*

So my internet went back out right a few hours after it came back a few days ago... but its back again... so hopefully it stays this time lol.

Mark - Super proud of you for being 2 weeks free!!!! *huggles*

*hugs everyone else* (sorry, there are so many posts from the last few days not doing individuals right now. Will try to get some on later)

How are you, Laura?

*Huggles Laura*

I'm worried as I was Skyping Allison (A mutual Friend) and texting Felicia , and said to Allison " I'd rather Skype Felicia and Text Allison" and she broke down in tears and hung up .........I am horrible.

Mark, You are not horrible. It is not horrible to prefer seeing and hearing your fiance and texting your friend rather than the other way around! Could you text your friend and explain what you meant by it?

Speaking of you and your fiance, Mark, I demand pictures of you two! :D
(FB or RYL either way... I'm not picky just demanding!)

I suppose this is me checking in... hey all.

Today is a rough day. I'm not even sure what I'm so upset about to be honest with you. I can feel another panic attack coming on and it makes me angry with myself. I just want to get through today in hopes of tomorrow being better.

Crimson , there will be pictures :) 11 days :D :D

I can't Text Allison , we are sepourated (sp) but an oceon . She is in the U.S.A.

Hi Hurricane , I'm Mark *Hugs if okay?*

*hugs* hugs are good. sometimes they say what words can't. Nice to meet you.

Email then perhaps? *hugs*

*hugs Hurricane and offers tea*

Mark, do you have facebook? Add me! PM or text me if you do and i'll let you know my name.

Hurricane, do you know why you feel panicky? I hope you feel better soon.

I've just cut myself a little. I'm not counting it as a slip up because it's not to the right extent. I don't really feel able to cut as deep as I want to for some reason. I'm not bothered about wasting the 10 months i've been through, I just want some relief. I wish I had enough medication to overdose on.

*hugs all*

*hugs all*

Mark well done on 2 weeks :) really proud of you.

Hi to the new people I'm Oliver *waves*

I managed to go to asda today and not buy pills, that is a really big thing for me.

*Hugs Oliver* Thats Amazing mate ! So cool!

Well done, Oliver!

*hugs Oliver* Well done! Proud of you!
*hugs Laura, Mark, Lindsay*

*hugs Lindsay, Crimson and Mark* thanks guys. how are you all doing?

I've got my phone next to me trying to call the crisis team but i'm scared. They will probably be out on a visit and i'll disturb them, plus, they have just done my review which means they think i'm ok now.

Is it wrong that I brushed my teeth then tasted my blood and liked it , I am sick I swear.

I'm becoming really obsessed with death again, my suicide plan is all in place, it has been for a few months now and the date is getting closer. I feel a sort of calmness that it is coming, I keep listening to sad music and looking up funeral stuff which keeps me calm, I can't wait for this pain of life to be over.

*hugs poisonedapple and enjoys the tea* Thanks lovely.

one_step_closer, Not really sure why I feel the panic. I got through the day without any major incidences though, so I'm considering it a success.

Also, you all can call me either hurricane or Heidi. Either way is fine.

I love how people just ignore other peoples posts.... :/

Oliver, you need to reach out for real help. Death is not the only option

Mark, I don't think you're sick.

Hope all are okay.

proud of you mark <3

*cuddles oliver* love you <3 take care

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Heidi*

*Hugs Mrs Pan*

*Hugs Heather*

I miss Felicia . we are constantly texting , but I miss her voice , I'm almost in tears ..... 10 more days and we'll be together Friday-Monday , it's just not enough time , I want to spend 99 bajillian years with her.

Anyhoo,

How is everyone?

*walks in groggily*
*hugs Heidi* you can call me Crimson.
*hugs Lindsay* Did you call the crisis team?
*hugs Oliver* Have you talked to your doc or anyone?
*hugs Mark, Mrs Pan, Heather*
*goes out to the garden to nap in the sun*

*Hugs Crimson*

*hugs all*
sorry I'm not doing individuals again. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm fine and I've got a goal.
My goal is that I don't harm this week.
We are going to watch Harry Potter tonight :D

How are you all?

*hugs everyone*

Today is a better day. I don't feel quite as stressed out, though I have a few hours at both jobs so we'll see if that holds. Today is day number 99 of no SI. I feel really tired but I seem to be unable to sleep. At some point I think I want some Chinese food.

How are you all doing today?

*Hugs Laura* Thats a great goal Hun:)

*Hugs Heidi* 99 days!!!!!!!!!! Go you!!! . Yum , chinese!

*Hugs Doikers* Thanks. Tomorrow is a BIG day for me. Hitting 100 seems like it's taken forever... mostly it feels really good!

*hugs Mark*
*hugs Laura* You can do it!
*hugs Heidi* Awesome job!

Is anyone about......?

*cuddles mark* im sorry =[ but just think- 10 days is just a little over a week =] ie im wicked jealous =p <3 hope you guys have an AMAZING time. oh and i miiiight get to meet you too in jan or w/e lol

*Hugs Heather* That would be so cool!

I am feeling Lonely right now , I'm texting Felicia , But still feel lonely , I could use company should anyone be about.

I'm here, Mark. Sorry if i'm late.

Hey Lindsay *Hugs* How are you hun?

i am here as well

I'm not sure how I am. Planning on self harming soon but i'll keep it superficial if I can.

How has your day been?

I've been tired all day , I think a large part of it is emotional , I'm having an early night 9pm-ish , I took two Diaz so I hope to get a decent sleep tonight *Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Louise* How are you hun?

I know that feeling, Mark. I hope you have a decent sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed.

Lindsay , what is your sig quote from? I like it .

*hugs mark*

It's lyrics from a Muse song - Starlight.

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Lindsay* A quick inspection of my CD collection reveals that I have that song :P

Do you have the Muse song Invincible? I always find that to be very positive.

Yes I have that song to , they are on the same album but I haven't listened to it in a while,.............

I'm almost constantly listening to Muse and Linkin Park! What bands do you listen to?

Linkin Park , A thousand Suns , EVERY Moring , Today I've also listen to Taylor Swift , Avenue Q Soundtrack ,Within Temptation, Flyeaf , I think that is it :P