Thankyou Oliver *Hugs* I'm Numb today , Just..........Numb , I've had no person to person support so I've been a bit lost, trying to keep bust , planning getting materials to make a display of fishing flies , So all over the net looking for dense foam , but it kept me busy .
Oliver , if you feel the need to take many pills again PM me and I'll try and get back to you as soon as possible.
I'm too nervous to use the live chat support on RYL , How stupid! :S

I am so anxious about signing up for classes Tuesday. I keep watching my British Literature survey fill up and I need it. I need it, so I'm getting more and more anxious and stressed and angry, cause it's all my fault I couldn't sign up earlier. If I hadn't done so bad freshman year. Damn.

*Hugs Felicia*

Thanks, Mark.

I need to stop venting senselessly.

It's not senseless Felcia , We are all here to help each other the best we can , feel free to vent/yell/rant/verbally vomit whatever , we are all here for us all (Make Sense ?)

*curls up*

sorry.

*Hugs Laura* Whats up ?

They gave the 'special food' to the cat.
Now they are waiting till she dies and I can't do anything about it.
I don't know what to do.

i um... well, i feel kinda weird. Today would have been my ex's and my 5 year anniversary, and with that anniversary marks the only time in 7 years that I've gone more than 4 months with no SI (which was 5 years ago)... funny, i actually thought i was free back then... It also feels weird to me that for the past 4 years this was a happy day, but now it just reminds me of a lot of things, related and unrelated to my ex, SI, and suicide attempts... For example, it also reminds me of how better off I am doing things for myself rather than for him or anyone else... which is a happier thought I suppose.... but its also strange for me... living for myself and trying to figure out life is not something i've ever experienced EVER, before the last 4 or 5 months.. so i guess i'm still getting used to it.

Just a lot of things rolling around in my head. Sorry I'm not replying individually, but I can barely concentrate. Selfish i know.

EDIT: Hi laura! i'm the other laura of the ward... we'll have to figure out a way to differentiate. we can go back to using laurastar i guess for me, like we used to do when laurafriend was here.

Can you look at the food container to find out what it is ?
Perhaps , if your cat gets sick take it too the vet.

Laura *Hugs* You are NOT selfish , not at all, you have a lot going on, today is SO significant for you , don't worry about not doing individuals , we are here for you .

If I take it to the vet then they'll just give more to it.
What's the point of taking it to the vet and get it healthy again when they'll just try to kill it again.
they said that they want to kill our other cat, too.

* Hi other Laura.. lol. If you come up with a nickname for me we can use that :) I don't have a nickname yet though.

<3 <3 <3

New Signature Heather ? As if I didn't know :P

Laura , hmmm a nickname , what would you like?

I don't know.
My mom sometimes calls me Lore or Laureley or something like that. dont know how to spell it.

Nice sig Heather.

Laura , My Sisters Friend Laura is called Laus , Pronounced "Laws".

thanks =] i was bored so i changed it =p

Laus is the german word for lice... but we pronounce it Lows (?)

How are you Heather?

like your sig heather, how are you

am ok i guess. sleepy and no motivation... which isnt good cuz loads to do next week ><

Mark, it's usually me who is on Live Help so there's no need to be nervous.

*hugs mark* thanks, its hard for me to talk... i'm trying to reach out some though. How r u?

*hugs laura* hmm.. a nickname.. well it won't be laus since that means lice lol. Is it okay if we use Lore like you suggested? Sorry i am bad at coming up with nicknames.

*hugs heather* im lacking motivation too :-/ you have harry potter in your sig! yay! lol

*hugs louise* how have you been?

*hugs lindsay* how r u? feeling any better than earlier hun? Here for you.

*spies oliver and hugs* i'm glad that you are okay and i'm very proud of you for going to the hospital.

*hugs other Laura* Yeah... Lore is OK. How do you pronounce it in english?

side note: my mom calls me Lauretta sometimes, she is the only person who has nicknames for me.

*hugs laura* I am so so been really tired not sleeping well.

Laura, I'm sorry today is bad, but you can get through this sweetheart *cuddles tightly*

*hugs tight*

*gives motivation to laura and yawns*
this time next week i'll have seen deathly hallows 1 ^,^
hehe. hence the sig... that and i just really like the quotes :P

Laus is out of the question then , sorry I did not know the German meaning.

Hi Owen :) How are you?

I've just spent 20 solid minutes pacing my flat aimlessly with the T.V. on mute.
"I think I'll pace the appartment a few times , then fall asleep on the couch"

Hi julie
how are you?

Hi Owen :)

Who is Owen?

The Weekends going to be tough if today is anything to go by , 2 days with no person to person support , I'll just have to keep myself busy I guess.

*Goodnight Hugs my wardies*

*hugs mark* Sorry today was so rough. We're here if you need to talk. I know its not person to person, but we try. Sleep well!

*waves to owen*

*hugs helen* thanks, i'm trying to stay safe and make it through. How r u doing?

*hugs louise* sorry you havent been sleeping well.

*hugs heather and lore*

hey guyssss

*huggles all - waves at owen*

just quickly jumping in. have a friends wedding to go to this afternoon and am already freaking out. getting really sick of the down mood and the agoraphobia-related anxiety. thanks to everyone for your support by the way. going to disappear in the garden to play with Puppy SinClair until i calm down for a bit ...

Hey everyone :)

Hey Ian :) How you doing?

Kahlia, hope the wedding goes well. Sorry you're so anxious though.

Laura *hugs tight* Glad you're trying to stay safe. Hope you still are. I'm a little sad still tonight. But hanging in there :D

Fed up, but there you go. How are you Helen?

Why you fed up Ian?

*hugs ian* whats up?

*hugs helen* i'm glad you are hanging in here. sorry you are feeling sad. here if you want to talk.

*hugs kahlia* good luck with the wedding. sorry that you are so anxious. I wish i had more advice. thinking of you.

I have a headache, too much thinking. I feel like my head is spinning around and round with all the conflicting thoughts in there. On the plus i suppose, i havent SI'd today, and i was sure i would. My friend convinced me to go out with her tonight so i guess i'm going to get out for awhile. I don't know if I really want to though.

I dunno, just feeling a bit crappy :-(

^*hugs* I'm sorry you aren't feeling great. If you need to vent, don't hesitate to post in here or PM any of us.

*hugs all* I'm really stressing out, the psych nurse when she assessed me at the hospital rang the cirsis team to come and see me at 12 on saturday, but then they rang and left a message saying could I ring them back to arrange a time over the weekend, and I tried ringing them back 4 times, but no answer, so now I don't know when they are coming and I really need to leave by 1.
Sorry its a stupid thing, ahhh and I'm not being a good ward mate and doing individual replies, I'm sorry

*Hugs Laura* Thankyou :)

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Lore*

*Hugs Kahlia*Good luck with the wedding , enjoy if you can.

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Oliver* I hope you get your meeting .


So it's 4.32am and I'm wide awake , I tried to get back to sleep I really did, I just hope the day go's smoothly, For all of us . *Eats a yogurt*
10th on curveball :)

In the UK, on Saturdays, what time do Post Offices open does anyone know?

*spies mark and glomps*
ur awake really early mark... Sorry i dont know anything about the post office in the UK since im from the US.. so i cant really answer the question. hope you figure it out though, and you enjoyed your yogurt.

its 2:20am here.. i just got home. Drunk. but happier than earlier today. sometimes being with work ppl really saves me.

*Glomps Laura Back* I'm off hoping the Post Office opens at 9am , Sleep well Laura ( if you're going to bed ) :)

yea i am going to bed soon.. might try to drink some water first so im not sick in the morning. I'm sure it does open by then. If its anything like the US (which is a bad presumption is know), then the post office is open only with shortened hours on Saturday. Good luck mailing whatever it is you need to mail. Goodnight! *hugs*

Sorry, but I'm just feeling empty. Almost dead inside and everything left just aches with this agony of loss and the feeling that things will never be the same again. It hurts. There's a pain in my stomach and heart that physically hurt. Sorry.