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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

misskitty112 03-10-2010 05:38 PM

My grandparents that I live with are saying they want to move. It's financially impossible for me to move out of the state and go to uni. They know that. I should add that they're looking to move to Arizona. Across the country. I can do this. More people can't just walk out of my life.
My own mother did that. I came back from uni and she goes "Oh, by the way, I'm moving on Saturday. You'll need to have somewhere to go." She took my brother, my sorority abandoned me, my friends have been slowly dropping. I understand, I am a horrible person to have as a friend. I'm manipulative, attention seeking, manic depressive, and unpredictable. I get it. It's hard to be friends with that. But. I. Need. Someone.
And EVERYONE wants to leave me. I can't do this.

Doikers 03-10-2010 05:43 PM

*Hugs Felicia Tons* You are NOT a horrible person to have as a friend , I consider you my friend and I don't find you manipulative or attention seeking , I know we don't really KNOW each other but I like you. Lots. Sorry about the lack of actual advice but *extra Hugs*

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 05:44 PM

*Hugs Felicia* Your grandparents aren't necessarily abandoning you, they might simply want to move away and not realise how you are feeling about it. They probably think you'll be fine by yourself now. And you do have someone, you'll always have us. You aren't any of those things, you're lovely and caring and not at all attention seeking.

misskitty112 03-10-2010 05:55 PM

Mark, I like you lots too. *hugs*
Lia, I know they understand that my financial aid situation ties me here until I graduate, but you're right, they may not understand how scared I am of living alone. Thanks for bringing that up. :)
And thanks to both of you for thinking that I'm not attention seeking.
I kinda am, though, I've been thinking about this a lot.

shadowedsoul 03-10-2010 06:10 PM

Hugs everbody. Damn I'm triggered, was doing stuff at work, and it brought back what I had planed a few days back. Now I can't get that thought out of my head. Curls up.

MammaMia 03-10-2010 06:11 PM

I really NEED to stop crying. ARGH

*hugs everyone and then gets on with packing*

Doikers 03-10-2010 06:13 PM

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Helen* How did your eye appointment go?

[Awakening] 03-10-2010 06:15 PM

*peeks in* Can i creep in and hide from life please?

SparkleKitten 03-10-2010 06:18 PM

*hides in corner* I just want to hide away from life right now, reality is all too much for me :(

Doikers 03-10-2010 06:20 PM

Hi Jocelyn :) Welcome to the ward .

*Hugs Sarah*

[Awakening] 03-10-2010 06:21 PM

thank you *curls up in the corner* I used to be a patient here but now i just pop in every now and then.

I'm just gonna sit quietly and hide from life for a little while

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 06:22 PM

*hugs everyone*

Glad to help Felicia :)

What's the matter Helen? *Hugs*

*Hugs Sarah, Jill and Jocelyn*

SparkleKitten 03-10-2010 06:23 PM

*hugs Joceyln* Welcome :)

*cuddles Mark* I feel so overwhelmed :(

*cuddles Lia* Thanks

MammaMia 03-10-2010 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2515823)
*Hugs Helen* How did your eye appointment go?

Not the best. Made me cry LOL. But I'm getting new PURPLE glasses. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by [Awakening] (Post 2515827)
*peeks in* Can i creep in and hide from life please?

Course you can sweetie *cuddles*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ribenalion (Post 2515829)
*hides in corner* I just want to hide away from life right now, reality is all too much for me :(

*cuddles tight* Life's getting that way for me too...

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceQueenHasAHeart (Post 2515840)
What's the matter Helen? *Hugs*

*hugs* Not been the best of days. Supossed to be more excited than this. But catching my 'bestie' out to be a liar (not the one I'm visitng as of tomorrow thankfully) is causing me a lot of tears, stress, anger & upset =[

SparkleKitten 03-10-2010 06:30 PM

*cuddles Helen* I'm sure you'll look beautiful in your glasses :)

My best friend has been talking to my Fiance more than me recently, I mean she's supporting me a lot, I just wish she'd be as open with me as she is with him. All my old friends are slowly cutting me off more and more, my family and money problems are getting worse and I don't know what to do. Uni is a huge pressure too, I just can't focus. >:(

Doikers 03-10-2010 06:47 PM

WOW! Purple glasses! they sound cool Helen :)*Hugs*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lia*

MammaMia 03-10-2010 06:53 PM

They are cool. *hugs*

SoMuchMore 03-10-2010 07:47 PM

*cuddles helen* i'm sorry that your friend was lying to you. That really sucks. I hate it when people lie more than anything and have lost several friends b/c of lying situations... so i can understand why are are upset. Also sorry that the eye doctor upset you, but i'm glad that you got some nice sounding new glasses.

*hugs sarah* it sounds like you have a lot going on right now. Do you think your best friend is more open with your fiance because she is really worried about you and doesnt want to make you more upset? I understand you wanting her to be open with you, just offering a possible explanation as to why.

*hugs lia* Hope you are really okay. If not, you know its okay to talk in here

*hugs felicia* i second what lia said about them maybe not understanding you are afraid. I'm sorry that it feels like everyone is leaving you. I know its not the same, but we in the ward won't leave.. I don't know if that helps at all.

*hugs jill* im sorry that you are feeling so upset. anything we can do?

*hugs jocelyn* Hey! I'm sorry you arent feeling well, but I'm happy to see you around. Here if you want/need to talk hun.

*hugs mark* how r u? You've been posting but not much about yourself so I thought Id ask, :-)

*waves to owen* whats wrong? you alright?

*hugs april* you are not pathetic in the least! I'm sorry that your bestie isnt hanging out with you. I know how bad that can feel. However, sometimes its hard b/c you cant really say anything.. like I never feel like i can be "well you said we would hang out before you agreed to do this other thing with you fiance/boyfriend/other group, so really you should be hanging with me." I wish i could say that sometimes, but then i would feel like im being super manipulative, which i try not to be heh.. okay sorry, enough, I dont know how this response turned into a bunch of I would, I think, I, I... sorry.

*hugs heather* how r u hun?

*hugs everyone else* i think that is most people that posted recently... if i missed you i'm sorry, I'm not trying to ignore, just catch up.

Cold weekend for being outside but Uni homecoming events were pretty fun. Now got to get going on some homework.

SI'd an awful lot though. Not very strong of me I know... but... my frustration levels were getting out of control. I think one of my friends noticed though... I hope not, she is the type of person that would want to try to talk about it... and i'm not really in a place to talk. I've only ever openly talked about it with one person at uni.. most of the time i really hate talking about SI. Don't want to worry/upset people any more than they already are.

shadowedsoul 03-10-2010 07:47 PM

Argh!!!! Why do people dump on me when I'm already worked up. Not sure how much more I can take. =(

Doikers 03-10-2010 07:50 PM

Well I've started Freaking out about my assesment tomorrow to judge if I'm eligable for housing benifit .
What if they say I don't deserve it?
They can stop my housing benifit and I NEEEEEED it to pay rent with.
I hate the feeling of being judged.
Everyone I've spoken to says it's easy and I deserve Housing benefit and am entitled to it so I KNOW I shoulden't worry but I FEEL so Anxious :S
Anxiety.
Anxiety.
Anxiety.

Doikers 03-10-2010 07:55 PM

*Hugs Laura* I know the feeling of not wanting to talk about your S.I. I hope she doesen't pressure you into talking and also it's really not a question of you being strong or not ,the strongest person can cut and the weakest can resist the urge , it all depends on how you feel .Make sense?

SoMuchMore 03-10-2010 08:07 PM

*hugs mark* aw, im sorry that you are so anxious. You do deserve the housing benefit though. I understand the anxiety, I would probably have threw the roof levels of anxiety too. Try to do something that relaxes you.. go for a walk or something that will keep your mind busy. Here if you want/need to talk.

And what you said makes sense. I know i shouldnt be using words like strong/weak in reference to SI... I hope she doesnt pressure me into talking either.

*hugs jill* i'm sorry that people were dumping on you. Stay strong hun, I know how hard it is but try?

And I just remembered that i forgot to pay rent... crap. 4 days late tomorrow when i'll drop it off (office wont be open today to do so)

shadowedsoul 03-10-2010 08:13 PM

Erm sod it I'm giving in trying to beat this tonight, I feel very crapy but sod it. Deff going to have a drink tonight when I get home, don't worry not going to get drunk, just need somthing it's being a really horrible day. Sorry guys, curls up

Doikers 03-10-2010 08:15 PM

Relaxing ? hmmm *Lights Insence* Maybe that'll help. I'm gonna take a diaz too , this is exactly why I'm prescribed them then I'm going to phone my parents for the distraction . Thanks Laura I hadn't even thought of any of this stuff before you prompted me .

Oh will your Landlord be cool with that Laura ? I hope so.

*Hugs Jill* Please please be careful with the alcohol , remember we are here to talk if you need too :)

SparkleKitten 03-10-2010 08:37 PM

*hugs Jill* Take care, hope you're okay, stay safe x

*cuddles Mark* You need it so you've no need to feel so bad, we're here for you to vent though :)

*snuggles Laura* Sorry to hear about that, hope you don't have to talk about it, I hate talking about it. And I get what you mean, but she told him she was going out today back early last week and I got a text after I'd been waiting an hour this afternoon to talk to her telling me she'd gone out. Silly I know, but I've felt a bit lonely and no other friends really want to talk that much. I don't know what else she's telling him and not me though...

I get so silly over small things.

Doikers 03-10-2010 08:42 PM

Quote:

I get so silly over small things.
It's not silly Sarah , Small things are big things when they are happening to you.*Cuddles*

SparkleKitten 03-10-2010 08:45 PM

*Cuddles Mark* Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without this ward <3

Doikers 03-10-2010 08:48 PM

Me neither Sarah <3

RYUU 03-10-2010 08:58 PM

feel like i want to OD

misskitty112 03-10-2010 09:01 PM

*hugs Laura* I understand the frustration levels... totally.
*hugs Mark* I'm sorry you're so anxious. I'm only a PM away :)
*hugs Jill* Please be safe
*Hugs Sarah* I get awfully upset over small things too

Did my Marketing assignment. I cannot wrap my head around all the literature I have to read though. It's so very frustrating. I feel like I need to SH to kick myself in gear. That makes no sense, I know. But I never said I made sense.

Doikers 03-10-2010 09:16 PM

*Hugs Felicia* You don't have to SH ,please be safe .
Could you maybe take your literature assignment reading one little bite at a time, that might help break it up into manegable chunks , sorry if thats lame advice :S

misskitty112 03-10-2010 09:34 PM

Figured it out.
today's been 14 years since my dad died.
I can't believe I forgot. In the back of my mind, I knew. I just couldn't figure out this unexplainable sadness, and all the reoccuring bitterness at mom for remarrying that I thought I had gotten over.
I'm a shitty daughter. I forgot my own dad until I saw it on mom's facebook.

Doikers 03-10-2010 09:56 PM

Felicia , You are NOT a shitty daughter , goodness you have a LOT to think about and you knew , thats why you were sad ,you probably repressed the memory sub-conciously to help you deal with the sadness. You are a kind , caring , compasionate person . *Hugs*

xxjuliexx 03-10-2010 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceQueenHasAHeart (Post 2515708)
Yeah, like I said, I'm fine.

-taps lia's arm- we isnt allowed to as we is fine unless we r fine it's a ward rule -offers a cookie-

RYUU? is u ok?

Doikers 03-10-2010 10:02 PM

*Waves at Owen* Hi did you get any sleep ?

Talking of sleep I'm heading to bed , I could stay up but my insence stick has burnt out and I want to sleep . "Asleep is the safest place you can be"

xxjuliexx 03-10-2010 10:03 PM

-nods- did sleep but still tired, eating breakfast -points at plate-

misskitty112 03-10-2010 10:04 PM

I know I had to have known. I remembered last week. I don't know what happened this week. I just feel so bad because I went about like nothing really was wrong in the world today, save my zero motivation and tons of work.
And I couldn't figure out why Mamaw was so sad and wanted so badly to go to church and for me to go with her (which I still didn't cause I felt horrible this morning). they read dad's name out in the prayers for the saints or something like that. That's why.
I still miss my dad. all the time. I'm sure that counts for something in daughter points.

goodnight Mark! Sleep well!

*waves at Owen* how are you?

Doikers 03-10-2010 10:06 PM

*Night time Hugs Felicia*

*Waves Good night to Owen*

*Night night Hugs For Helen as I spots you :)*

shadowedsoul 03-10-2010 10:32 PM

curls up cries quietly

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 10:34 PM

*Takes cookie* Thank you Owen. I would hug you but...so I'll just thumbs up at you instead.

Sorry. I just don't know what else to say anymore. I want to be *forbidden word* and I have to be because other people need me. And I can't take any more rejection.

*Hugs RYUU* Are you alright?

*Hugs Jill* what's the matter honey?

SparkleKitten 03-10-2010 10:43 PM

*hugs RYUU* I hope you're okay x

*Hugs Jill* You okay dear?

*hugs Lia* I hope you're alright *snuggles*

*cuddles Felicia* You're not a bad daughter, you're amazing, you've had a lot to deal with x

*cuddles Mark* Nighty night

*waves to Owen* Hi Owen, good breakfast?

Just dyed my hair red again :)

MammaMia 03-10-2010 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2515968)
*cuddles helen* i'm sorry that your friend was lying to you. That really sucks. I hate it when people lie more than anything and have lost several friends b/c of lying situations... so i can understand why are are upset. Also sorry that the eye doctor upset you, but i'm glad that you got some nice sounding new glasses.

*cuddles Laura* True friends don't lie. But it really does suck and it really hurts. I hate people lying too. I wish I was over it already. The eye doctor didn't upset me, was more the test that did? LOL. I'm just pathetic. They are awesome, I want them right now :D

SparkleKitten 03-10-2010 10:48 PM

*snuggles Helen* purple glasses are awesome, mine are blue and my next set will be purple Hello Kitty ones :D

shadowedsoul 03-10-2010 10:58 PM

erm my whole body hurts. havnt had anything to drink got home, hardly had any dinner. feel very sore. sorry

SparkleKitten 03-10-2010 11:01 PM

*cuddles* I hope you're okay x

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 11:04 PM

Don't apoligise Jill, there's no need. You don't do any of this to annoy us. Not that it does annoy us, we just want to help you.

*Hugs Sarah* Are you feeling any better now?

*Hugs Felicia* You're not a rubbish daughter. It's easy to forget things like dates, I only know what day it is according to my school timetable. I'm sure your dad would be so proud of you if he could see you now for all you've came through and all you're fighting for.

shadowedsoul 03-10-2010 11:12 PM

thanks lia, erm you said you were fine, are you tho ? here if you need to speak,crap at giving advice. but im here to listen if you need.
cheers ribenalion

SparkleKitten 03-10-2010 11:14 PM

I'm feeling a little better. Pampered myself a bit, false nails and nice dyed hair. Being moaned at by my family for being too big though. I'm not >:(

FlyingNy 03-10-2010 11:29 PM

I have to be Jill.

It's alright now. If I let down this mask you will hate what you see. The one girl who has spent the past 6 months convincing me she'll love me whatever has just informed me that she 'hates it when I'm like this'. I was being me with the mask down. Letting her see the raw emotion and she hated it. I told her all along I wear a mask so people don't hate me as much as I hate myself and she didn't believe me. She does now.

So it's OK. I won't be like that. I'll be bang-tidy. Always. No one needs to worry about me anymore.

Oh, and I'm glad to hear (well, read) it Sarah. :)

shadowedsoul 03-10-2010 11:38 PM

cuddles lia tightly, im sorry about that hun, that sucks.
cuddles all. then curls up again


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