Hope you're feeling better soon Hayley xx

*grumbles*

What's wrong Julie?

lower back is so sore must have gone to sleep on my tummy last night

That sucks :( Taken any pain meds for it or anything?

i dont think i have any that will help

*cuddles Hels and everyone else then goes back to hiding*

Am anxious and still feel full from lunch, need to update my r/v thread... just want to be held. :'( Jarrod and I are having some problems, some related to *cough* adulty stuff... some related to my depression. I don't know. My head is so tired right now... :'(

I just want this to be over. I feel like ****, and I'm sick of that.

:crying: Pathetic... :'(

Not pathetic April. Not at all. You'll work through it babe *cuddles* Sorry you're having so much **** to deal with too.

sorry i'll quit complaining and support people
*hugs april and then helen then everyone else*

hey helen how's things?

*cuddles Hels and Julie*

thanks... just updated r/v............

feel so damn pathetic. i may not be to a lot of people but to me i am. :'(

*kicks wall* ****, **** I cant deal with this, make my head stop, please someone make it stop.

You can complain too *hugs back*

Not good. You?

I know you really feel this way but you're not. I promise you that *cuddles tight*

I wish I could :'( *offers cuddles tight*

no, anything in particular wrong?

I'll be fine, just need to make myself go to sleep instead of staying up and letting my head take over.

Offers tea and homemade ginger cake to everyone, sorry not been around for a while

*hugs oliver*

Hope you sleep well Hannah.

*hugs everyone who wants/needs/can accept hugs*
*waves at everyone else*

Want to disappear from the world for awhile. So tired of everything. *sigh*
Sorry will stop my winging.

*offers hugs to all, then digs and crawls into incredibly deep hole in the garden before trying to pull all the dirt back in over herself*

*curls up in a corner rubbing my back*

*cuddles Kahlia & Julie*

I feel pretty much the same as you Kahlia..

*feels so ****ing alone*

:crying:

So do I April, but we're not alone in here at least *snuggles*

*emerges from hole*
*hugs Julie and offers anti-inflammatory pain-killers*
*offers April hugs and a teddy bear so she doesn't feel alone* - Sorry that you feel like that April. I wish I could help.
*hugs Helen* - I'm so sorry you feel that way Hels. :(
*disappears back down into the hole and buries herself with the dirt*

*cuddles Kahlia lots* Sorry it's not more.

thanks kahlia but i dont wanna take pain meds i wanna work threw it after all we coursed it by sleeping on our tummy

updated r/v yet again........... feel so alone. *clings to hels & kahlia*

:crying:

Julie, you still deserve them darling.

*holds April tight*

*wants to cry* :'(

tonight is so tough. i want to cut so badly. :'(

Why sweetheart?

****ing failure.......... i am such a ****ING FAILURE!!!!!

:crying:

because jarrod is having his own problems so i can't lean on him.
because i don't know if i can start my internship this monday as planned because i am unprepared, officially speaking.
because i am AN EPIC FAIL.

:crying:

Deep breaths April. You're not a failure & you should try talk to Jarrod. I think he'd want to try & help even though he has his own struggles. Could you talk to anyone about Monday??

on my phone may not work...

It works Julie. You ok?

I spy a Kahlia ;)

*curls up yawns*

I see a Taz

Tired there Julie?

:D Hi Helen!
I think it was Hayley that had asked earlier... yeah, Taz was short for tasmanian devil :) As a kid I used to always run around and be pretty wild. Never really outgrew the nickname and still have a habit of going a little crazy from time to time.

*hugs to everyone who needs/wants them*
*crawls under a blanket*

*finds blanket and crawls under and gives Taz a huge hug*

Blaaaah, got to really love being paranoid. I'm so all over the place with my emotions. I'm really struggling to keep a lid on it all. Hm. Hopefully I can pull through this without doing anything silly. I did it the last time I had an 'episode' (as my sister calls it :S) soo...who knows?? I'm so godamm frustrated & want it to be over. Even if just means being low, can handle that. Please give me a bloody break :'(

Sorry don't know where that came from :S

*hugs Helen tightly* Is there anything you can do that will take your mind off it?

*hugs Taz*

I keep trying to go out, even if it means plastering on fake emotions which drains me even more, like this isn't draining me enough. Saw my Nan yesterday. Usually helps take my mind off everything, but she was in such a state, was horrible -.- Managed to eventually calm her down, hope she stays like that, or she'll have herself back in hospital.

Seeing my Dad later, would let my walls down with him a bit, but we're seeing my other Nan today (his Mum) and his girlfriend is hopefully joining us, so yes, got to keep smiling & acting happy. Great >.>

But it's there 24/7 at the moment. Even when I'm faking, it's still hanging in my mind...

That sucks Helen :( I hate always having to plaster on fake smiles. Sometimes makes me wish people weren't so ignorant. Or rather, that they'd actually try to face the truth. Sorry to hear things are so hard right now :(

I hate it, but am so used to it. Get fed up of doing it sometimes. But hey ho.

Ugh my chest has started hurting. Thanks (Y)

"buries her head under pillows", my khl counsellor told me that im going backwards....not forwards.....its not my fault that I prefer to talk to him then my physch....

*curls up*

*sad face* ooh it seems that the late hours of last night and early hours of this morning (in my time zone) have been pretty **** to say the least for everyone. I wish sometimes that I didn't need sleep and that I could stay up and support you all when you need it, even if sometimes that would mean being up 24/7.

*goes around the ward giving appropriate tlc to all where ever they may be tucked up, hiding or even buried under dirt!*

Well Eoghan gave me a drunken phonecall at 2am to let me know that he wouldn't be disturbing me as I was ill and needed a good nights sleep! So I've not had a hungover man to look after this morning, so I've done my online shopping to be delivered tomorrow as my fridge was looking beyond bare, lol. Thought I'd pop in and check on my wardies. But seeing as its quiet in the common room, I think I'll get myself a shower, hopefully the steam will help clear the bunged up feeling I've still got.

*leaves germ free huggles around ward for people if they want them*

*hugs Hayley*

*hugs Helen* hope you don't have to fake too many smiles, i know how tiring it is and that you enjoy seeing your dad, despite not feeling so good

*hugs kahlia* keep fighting you can get through this

*hugs Hayley* have a good shower :) how are you?

says hi to everyone else and makes a big pot of chamomile tea

I was hoping that I would wake up and my head would have sorted itself out but it's still talking ****. I want to scream at it "will you just shut up because I'm not listening"

Ugh , So hard to get up and DO stuff , I know I keep mentioning that so I'm sorry , I feel so energyless , no motivation :(

Hmmmmm I'm sorry you guys are struggling , I know what its like to tell your own head to just shut up !! . and to put on fake smiles....

*Hugs Ward*

*hugs everyone*
well i'm fine mark totally fine

*Hugs Julie just in case she's not okay*

*hugs Hayley* nice to see you

*cuddles Julie* "fine" doesn't normally mean as much, let me know hun if you need anything

*sends love and support hugs to April and Mark* cos I spy them

I haven't been here for a few days, so have no hope of catching up with everyone, sorry :(

I am a bit crap, but nearly bedtime so all good

*puts out comfy pillows and sunggle rugs*