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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

SoMuchMore 21-04-2010 09:46 AM

Sleep well! And really you dont need to be sorry. We are all here to support each other as well as receive support. Hang in there hun.

*grabs some blankets and finds a quiet spot to sleep in.. 3am is late enough for tonight i think*

frenchhorn 21-04-2010 09:49 AM

*cuddles all then dashes off to uni*

Doikers 21-04-2010 10:31 AM

April you are NOT a fat pig , anything but *hugs*

*Hugs Kahlia* Good luck quitting smoking , thats a really positive step :)

*Group Hugs*

xxjuliexx 21-04-2010 10:34 AM

ummm... can i comes in....

jonikd 21-04-2010 10:47 AM

'course, you're a Kiwi after all and we're welcome anywhere *hugs*

xxjuliexx 21-04-2010 10:48 AM

thanks *floops on my bed* i cant move to tired

jonikd 21-04-2010 10:49 AM

well it is bed time here....pretty much!

Doikers 21-04-2010 10:55 AM

Hi Julie *waves* welcome to the ward :)

xxjuliexx 21-04-2010 10:58 AM

soon not yet

Scarletdreamer 21-04-2010 02:41 PM

Good morning everyone... and hi Julie, nice to see a new face. :) *hugs*

*cuddles all*

I'm really exhausted right now... and overwhelmed... etc., etc., etc., blah blah blah, nothing new - is there EVER anything new?! :'(

Saw my bestie last night and we talked about the stuff I wrote about in my r/v thread. Don't want to get into it here but it was a good talk. :)

Tonight we're meeting up for Women & Spirituality at my prof's house... should be interesting!! I've been there once before and it's a lovely place, can't wait to go again. We'll be doing a nature walk and making prayer flags, eating supper and doing some other stuff... should be fun. Plus, I get to see her little dog Bridget (at least, I think that's how you spell her name)... yey!!

On the downside, I have an exam today in soc and I haven't studied tons - AND I missed a lecture, and on the last exam I got a C. April does NOT GET C's. :'( So far I have a B in the class, which is not good enough... am hoping to pull it up to an B+ at least. :(

*hides in shame, feels so stupid*

MammaMia 21-04-2010 02:46 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Welcome to the ward Julie

Hope people are feeling bit better *snuggles*

I spy April!!!!!!! You're not stupid :(

Doikers 21-04-2010 02:55 PM

It sounds like a really nice evening you have planned April :) and don't beat yourself up about your grades , you are WAY smarter than you give yourself credit for. You're not stupid at all . Here have a smile on me :-)

PoisonedApple 21-04-2010 05:40 PM

Welcome Julie!*hug*

*Huggles April* Good morning! You are NOT stupid, hun.

*Huggles Laura, JK, Mark, Oliver, Helen, Hayley (anyone else I forgot... sorry it's still early)

SoMuchMore 21-04-2010 08:12 PM

*hugs helen* how r u doing?

*hugs april* sounds like going to your professors house will be pretty fun. That seems so weird to me tho, having class at your teachers house. I hope that your test goes well.

*hugs mark, JK, and crimson* Hope you guys are alright.

*hugs julie* welcome! *offers cookies*

Having trouble getting moving today. I feel like i could just stay in bed forever, but I have to go to class... and i think im going out tonight. My friend has wanted to karaoke forever so.. lol (I will not be karaoke-ing - only watching... that would be way to embarrassing for me lol)

Doikers 21-04-2010 08:47 PM

It's very early but if I stay up I WILL hurt myself . I took 5 Diaz so I'd better sleep , I'm so triggered. Night all , hopefully tommorow will be better .
*Ward hugs*

PoisonedApple 21-04-2010 10:52 PM

Staff Appreciation Day ROCKS!!!
Last year I let the number of people and lack of room freak me out and left 20 minutes into it. This year I was the first one in and I stayed there the whole time (1.5 hrs). *Proud of myself* This years theme was Vegas so I played blackjack, mini racers and roulette... almost played poker but ran out of time. The auction that followed was awesome even if I didn't win anything. And the door prizes (a feather boa, cup, light up dice, necklace, deck of cards and cd case with cd) were awesome... all of them were personalized for the office party. And having the attorney's serving the food, drinks and dessert was a nice change rather than all of us running around for them we played while they got us whatever we wanted to have :) I ate only a reasonable amount. I did not binge and I did not avoid the food. So that's good too. I had a good time and feel good about the event all in all. *smiles proudly*

How is everyone else? It's been so quiet in here today...

*huggles Mark* Hope you sleep well and feel better in the morning.

*wanders around hugging people and humming*

PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 12:46 AM

*pokes head in*
Anyone around somewhere?
*sits and waits for someone to pop in*

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 12:56 AM

*comes in and sits with Crimson*

PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 01:14 AM

Yay! Company!
How are you Oliver?

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 01:18 AM

bit mixed, you?
well done on getting through your staff appreciation day, you should be really proud of yourself

PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 01:22 AM

eh I dunno how I am actually. Confused I guess... I was happy and proud and even had fun earlier. Then I dunno I just started feeling lonely and kinda down, like I wanted to cry but I dunno why so I'm not dwelling on it... maybe if I just let it be it'll go away. Or maybe it's built up anxiety from earlier working its way out.

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 01:32 AM

*hugs Crimson*
I'm a bit like that at the moment, feeling okish for a bit, then wanting to cry and cut and scream the next.

PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 01:35 AM

*huggles Oliver*
That's exactly it.

MammaMia 22-04-2010 01:36 AM

*cuddles everybody*

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 02:02 AM

*cuddles Crimson and Helen*

My head is really screwing me about at the moment. the last few days have been a bit up and down.
had 4th appointment with my counsellor the other day, its the 6th counsellor I've had and first one I've ever stayed for more than 3 sessions and it was a good session, we mainly talked about how my coming out to mum went because he knew I was going to be doing it, then he said the next few sessions we will be doing a sort of map thing of my life and looking at who I am, not just in terms of gender but in everything, which I think will be really good.

today had tutorial for language of music, which is meant to be about 5 people but the others dont turn up so its just me and the tutor, which is good. she also asked about how it went with my mum, because she knew I was planning on coming out over the hols and she is great she just gets it and she gets that it is massive for me and also realises that because I've come I am not suddenly happy and fine, so she is being good, giving me structured things to do with my essay and saying that they need to take into acount everything else that is going on in my life. but I'm seriously panicing about these 2 essays due in for a months time, because I really struggle with writing anything, like even on here it takes me ages to write stuff because I really struggle to express myself when talking/writing, even though its in my head, so I was telling her this and she was saying its ok don't panic, but of course I am, then she gave me a sort of pep talk saying how I am good at somethings otherwise I wouldn't be at music college, I didn't believe her and telling me how I'll get more confidence gradually and how I have come out of myself in the last few months, because when she taught me last term in a group I didn't talk.

its ok you dont have to read that, I think I just needed to write it down was all going on in my head a bit, I'm just sort of falling apart again, what with deadlines and recital coming up I am seriously panicing, my head is all over the place and I'm scared, because I got seriously bad suicidal thoughts and urges earlier and havn't had them for a while.
anyway I'm going to shut up, cos I am rambling and probably really annoying everyone.
*wonders off so pepople don't have to see him*

MammaMia 22-04-2010 02:06 AM

*cuddles Oliver* Sorry it's not more. But I have read your post and wanted to let you know.

PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 02:10 AM


Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 2254651)
*cuddles Oliver* Sorry it's not more. But I have read your post and wanted to let you know.


PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 02:13 AM

*leaves on last supersized hug for everyone then runs out the door to head home*

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 02:16 AM

*wonders back in and cuddles Helen and Crimson* thank you both.


MammaMia 22-04-2010 02:26 AM

*cuddles you & then hides too*

SoMuchMore 22-04-2010 08:39 AM

*hugs crimson* its hard when you feel lots of things at once. I'm glad that you had fun at your work party tho!

*hugs oliver* I read your post too. You dont have to shut up at all though, we really don't mind. I'm glad that you are liking your new counselor. Sounds like some of the "work" your going to do could be very helpful.

*finds helen and hugs her*

I am feeling kinda low right now. Ugly and stupid.. Unproductive and unnecessary.. (lets see how many words that start with U that i can call myself heh). Is it as bad as I think in the looks department? (Picture below). I know that this is shallow and insecure of me... but I was hanging with some ppl and these guys were telling my friend how fantastic she looks and nobody said anything to me.. and its stupid but it made me feel so ugly. And i've just been so self conscience about how i look ever since i found out about my ex cheating. *sigh* im sorry. I dont mean to be petty.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : picture - sorry about the kinda fake smile that may or may not make me look possessed

CrazyHayley 22-04-2010 10:42 AM

Good morning/afternoon/night where ever you all may be! *blows kisses round the ward!*

I feel like a broken record in saying apologies for no individual replies, but when I let over 24hours go by the amount of posts can seem overwhelming. BUT there are a few points that stick in my mind (and I feel awful that they can't all take priority, as I don't want you thinking I value any posts over others becuase I don't...) Anyhoo....

April - did it occur to you that the people who have consumed less calories and lost weight may also have an ED?! Try not to compare yourself although I knows its hard. You are not a fat pig or a failure. *huggles*

Oliver - go you on the progress with your councellor and with having such a supportive music teacher. Try not to panic too much and I hope that we can help you in any way we can even if its just huggles, so...*huggles!*

Crimson - whoohoo on all that you achieved, sorry that your feeling mixed though. I hope thats passed by now *huggles*

*huggles Mark, Helen, Kahlia, Laura, JK* how are you guys all doing today? A little bit better I hope *sends positve thoughts your way*

*welcomes Julie to the ward - huggles*

*looks around for Nicole* Has anyone heard from our youngster recently?!

"oh puppy sinclair! Its time for out fag break!"

*goes out to smoking shelter*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 10:44 AM

awww i feel special people noticed me
i no it sounds lame but it's true

Snow White. 22-04-2010 10:48 AM

^ It's not lame at all. I saw this on live view and thought I'd pop in cause you made me smile in chat, so thank you, hope you are okay, keep talking xxxx *squish*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 10:51 AM

awww i'm glad

can we post phoros in here
and i've just learnt how to use live view yay me

CrazyHayley 22-04-2010 10:51 AM

*pops head in from smoking shelter to respond to Julie*

Well I'm sure that you are a special person worth noticing and its not lame for feeling that way at all. I hope that you find us 'loons' helpful and supportive when you need us. I stay in here all the time now, even on my good days so I can keep up to date on things and be helpful when I can. The regulars in here are all becoming real friends to me, well as real as virtual ones can be...if that makes sense?!....I value them all deeply and think highly of them. Perhaps I'll be able to add you to that group soon. *huggles*

*goes back to smoking fag outside*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 10:55 AM

*reads the same sentance like 5 times* not coz ur typing my reading isnt good i guess, coz i has dislexia

*taps my head* i has people

CrazyHayley 22-04-2010 11:17 AM

Julie - I've no idea what Live View is - so go you! I'm not great with technology, lol As for photos yup they can be posted in here. the whole ward can be triggering sometimes, but if we think there will be a likely trigger in a post or photo we put an extra warning on it for people. Otherwise, just post away, whether its photos, links, or music or just general waffle. You'll get the feel for things soon enough.

I'm being socialble by my own choice today - whoohoo! I'm going jewellery shopping at 1pm with a friend of mine who also has M.E. Shopping with a fellow M.E sufferrer is good as we both know we have to pace ourselves and have rest breaks for our muscles etc. I need to get a new lip bar and I'm thinking of getting a jewelled thingy for my tragus as at the moment its just a silver hoop with ball. Thinking perhaps a crystal ball bit....gosh I'm getting more sparkly like my mum as I get older. Well I'd rather people look at the jewellery than the lines appearing in my forehead, LOL!!!

After that I should have time for a nap and to cook a healthy dinner before a different friend of mine comes over for our wii fit night. Phew! I'm a little bit anxious that I may have booked in too much and thrown myself in at the deep end after such a hermit PMDD time, but I'm hoping that once I get going I'll enjoy myself and it'll be all good.

Ooh I spy a JK *huggles*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 11:22 AM

*feels super silly* um.. wats M.E.

Kahlia1981 22-04-2010 11:26 AM

*quickly jumps into the ward to offer hugs to everybody*

Really not doing well. Not up to typing much so will try and get back in here when I'm feeling a bit more eloquent.

*hugs all and looks for Puppy SinClair as she needs some "puppy love"*

CrazyHayley 22-04-2010 11:29 AM

Ah don't feel silly, a few weeks ago Helen most kindly put up a link to inofrmation. If I was clever I'd do it too.

So skip ahead if you already know....
M.E stands for MyalgicEncephalomylitis and it is an auto-immune disease which causes your body to fight itself. There are a multitude of neurological, cognitive and physical symptoms that this causes, much more than the overwhelming fatigue that it is often commonly known for. I could go on and on but I think that'll do for now.

I spy Kahlia! *huggles*

Anyhoo, its time for me to get my arse in the shower (well all of me!) and get ready for the day.

Catch you all a bit later. *blows more kisses round the ward*

Ooh I'm feeling less anxious and more excited by the minute - how good is that?! *tries to share positivity with everyone*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 11:35 AM

the first words in my head where well that much really suck
sorry if i say something blunt and offencive i dont mean to ok

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 11:39 AM

1 Attachment(s)
anyone need a flower

jonikd 22-04-2010 11:50 AM

Nice work Hayley, awesome that you're out and about and sounding so positive, love it!

*cuddles Helen & Kahlia* missed you gals since I left the ward last night

*hugs smart April and hopes some intelligence comes to JK through osmosis*

Laura, you're gorgeous hun, that colour real suits you and you should hold your head high and revel in your loveliness OK? No more 'U' words for you.

*hugs Mark and Oliver* sounds like you two are struggling huh, no great advice for you but I'm thinking about you both

Crimson! hi honey, well done with your work party, its a big deal having a nice time with a bunch of people around. You should be real proud of yourself *hugs*

*waves to Julie* nice to see you visiting here sweet

*wonders where Nicole is* must go see if I can find her

*cuddles Kahlia again* cos I see you and I can x

I have made it through a real crap day in one piece *cheers, and is very surprised* so off to bed now before anything changes.

Will check up on you all in the morning

loves and goodnight

Doikers 22-04-2010 12:24 PM


*cuddles Oliver* Sorry it's not more. But I have read your post and wanted to let you know.
Also this^^

and Laura , you are very beautiful :)

*Group hugs*
I'm off to my parents today so I'll be less often on here for a few days , it's my brother in laws birthday , still can't quite grasp my little sis has a new surname ,(New marrige) it must be super weird for her lol . I was supposed to get married first , I'm older , ugh pet peeve , but I AM super happy for My sister and bro in law though . just a touch jealous :( I hate to admit that .

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 01:30 PM

*hugs Mark* thanks, hope you have agood timeat your parents.

*hugs JK* hope you have a good sleep.

*hugs Julie* I havn't sadi hi yet, so hi I'm Oliver. *waves*

*I spy April*

*curls up in a corner crying and in pain*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 01:31 PM

1 Attachment(s)
oh hi oliver can i help u in anyway


Scarletdreamer 22-04-2010 01:37 PM

*cuddles all* Sorry I've been absent, yesterday was freaking long. :(

I forget who asked it (Hayley?) but yeah, I did consider that some of the other people who didn't eat a lot also have EDs, but one of them admitted to not eating breakfast on early morning class days (and he says that if he has breakfast it has to be hearty, no simple Clif bar or bagel for him!!) and the other said that she was sick on two of the days she did her food analysis. I just wish that we didn't HAVE to talk about kcal etc... it's still very triggering for me and since I'm eating a healthy amount now, and pigging out more on junk food on campus than I used to (will be so glad to be away from the snack machines!!)... I feel so awful because I AM eating too much. I won't post the number of kcal on here, obviously as that's against rules, but it was below the average number that you're "supposed" to eat and I'm supposed to be losing almost Xlbs a month... which isn't happening, damn it all. But anyway, /rant, sorry about that guys. :'(

Laura, hon, you're gorgeous!!! I wish I looked like you... :) Such a pretty smile, even if it is fake, and I love your hairstyle. It suits you as does the color of your top (as someone else said). *cuddles* How are YOU doing? and NO "fine" ... because I know that's not the truth!! (usually, anyway *mroe cuddles* You can be honest with us, we don't mind it one bit) ♥

Mark, I can (kinda) understand the whole "older should be married first" thing... my sister (who is 25) probably understands it better as she is the older one of us two and hasn't ever even had a boyfriend. I didn't have a boyfriend before I met my husband, and then we got married... :) But she's probably a little jealous - or at least, feels weird about me having a different last name. But anyway, I'm sorry that you feel that way. :( It's gotta be really tough. *cuddles*

Hels, how are you doing, love? ♥ *cuddles*

JK, how are you? Guess it's almost bedtime for you over there... or definitely bedtime, hmmm. Please take care of yourself!! *cuddles*

Crimson, well done on the whole staff appreciation party thingummy (:P). I'm proud of you, I really am, because I know how tough it is to go out there and "just be" without freaking out... plus the whole food thing!! How are you doing today??

Hayley, hope you enjoy(ed) your shopping trip!! :) Lol, sparkly as you get older... well, to me, that works just fine. :D I'm looking at getting my ear pierced again at the same place where I got my nose done... I want cartilage, right ear, because I did have a stud there but it fell out after years of use and I couldn't find the parts of the stud to put it back in. :( And anyway, I want a ring instead of a stud there, if the piercing guy can do that. :) That's a birthday present to myself, hehe. But anyway, sorry, ramble... :-/

Oliver, read what you said and I think you're doing a very good job at coping with coming out and going to a music college where it sounds like everything is extremely difficult!! A lot of changes in your life, I daresay, but as I said, I think you're handling them very well, from what I can tell from on here at least. *cuddles* How're you doing today?? (and I spy you!! :D)

Julie, how are you doing? *hugs* and thanks for the flower - lovely pic. :D

I'm so tired... the class at my prof's house was awesome, it really was. We meditated outside - each of the 27 or so of us - on an individualized quote from a certain poet or author, and then wrote about it or what it made us feel like or what it brought up within us, etc. Mine was an excerpt from a poem by Mary Oliver, and it had a very special meaning for me, so I wrote about that. Then we made prayer flags to string up in her woods (:D) which was a lot of fun... and then while they dried we talked about what we wrote about. And we ate a lot, and then went home. :)

Am so tired and my period started today (sorry if that's TMI)... so cramps and chest pain and all that lovely stuff... :( At least I'm not pregnant, heh, because that's the last thing in the world (or almost!!) that I'd want. No offense to those who want kids, it's just not for Jarrod or me.

*cuddles all then retreats to a lonely dark hole* :(

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 01:45 PM

*thinks* to sleep or not to sleep

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 01:45 PM

Hi Julie, thanks for the offer but there isn't anything you can do. how are you today?

*hugs April* I'm glad you had a good night last night, sorry your feeling ill and tired.

I've got to go, in the lunchtime concert, with such cheesy music a carmen fantasy for violin and orchestra and then bolero.
Just wish I wasn't feeling so damn crap and wasnt in so much pain, stupid f***ing thing, sorry it just makes me so angry.

*hides for a bit before he has to go to concert*

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