haha they do an ickle bit :P

but i have a better idea...
stay here with us :]
we have a denial tent and hot drinks and a campfire and food and cuddles on tap...

plus...my doggie is still here (go back a few pages for the pic i posted)
and sometimes anothe doggie called Charlie comes too :]

We'll keep you safe in here...and if you dont want to talk then thats fine..
but if you do..we'll listen :]

I'll stop talking now :P

*stumbles in to the denial tent and slurs*
I am so f**king drunk :crying: 62 oz of chick beer in 1 1/2 hrs... I'm probably only begining to feel it. Re-opened a slightly healde cut... It's pretty amaizing, not gonna lie... Some of my best work... Oh, don't think I told y'all here... My family knows about my cutting now... And I am in hell :pinch:

Damn, not looking forward to a good nights sleep... I never sleep well when I'm wasted. Oh well, I suppose as long as I don't bleed all over the place... Lol and I've got to make a counseling appointment tomorrow. Will probably manage to get in tomorrow or Tuesday. Boy have I got a lot to tell him. A cousin that ODd, three ODs myself this past week, my family finding out about my cutting and my drunken bing tonight...

I suck. Really. I do.

And I need stitches. *shrug* guess I'm gonna have an awful scar.

Sorry all, I'm drunk and evidently this is how I write when drunk.

:crying: I suck :crying:

Bte, thanks for letting me play with your dog Alexx.

*brings her cat Bat-Cat (affectionatly called Bat) to play*

*squeezes ally tightly*

Sorry, no words of wisdom but take care there and hang in tight :-)

look after urself plz xxx

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
why is life so ****?? why does crap always happen to people??? *curls up in the corner and cries even though my eye is really sore maybe from too much crying yesterday otherwise it might be infected and it if is i dont want to know :s*

and i ****ed up my arm so now i have to remember not to pull my sleeves up in case my floor RA notices. and i freaked my boyfriend out last night cos i was really suicidal while on msn to him. ****. *cries*

*hugs chloe*

Ur arm okies? Maybe u need to get it checked out, just in case

:-S that u freaked out ur bf...maybe u should explain to him that this happens and yeah, don't worry too much coz "i hope u stay safe" which, i think u will. Does that help a tad or complicates things more?

*hugs Ally* im sorry hunni....argh..i wish i could think of something useful to saaayyyy >.< *hugs somemore*

Chloe....i agree with Jeremy(?) that you should try explain to your bf...it might help put his mind at ease a little bit and he'll know how to help you a bit better

Hello Bat-Cat :]


I feel icky today....this is POSSIBLY going to be another day where i cant face getting dressed...let alone cleaning up or going out...
I want a cuddle and a cry..but these damn meds stop me from crying....
*sigh* Counselling AND doctors tomorrow....yippee :pinch:
i gonna get told off TWICE for messing my arm....once is bad enough tbh...

*hugs everyone who needs it*

I told my manager earlier this week about my s/h and she was really nice, said she had guessed that I never really stopped. But I told her the real reason why I needed thursday off- for this minor op and now she wants me to go in and talk to her today. great. How do you say you don't know exactly how you feel but you know it isn't good and when it is slightly good, that you sabotage it because you don't think you deserve 'good'?

*hugs Alexx*

I'm sorry sweetie, sounds like you're having a rough time of it. I wish I had more for you but atm I'm trying to ignore my hangover headache :pinch:. I'm not much good to anyone right now anyway. Still... *snuggles*

*sigh* didn't manage to get a counseling appointment until Thursday... No big deal but the doc is gonna want me to see someone after I get stitched up today so having an appointment today would have been easier :-( ah, well, it's my own fault for getting myself in this mess :crying:

Have I mentioned that I suck?

*retreats to the denial tent, wraps up in her fuzzy blanket and cries* *sigh* if only I were able to cry in real life :crying:

*hugs Emma*

Well sweetie, to start, I'm not sure she needs all that information. You could (and I would suggest) probably leave out the sabotage part... Other than that I'd say just say it like you did here. It's hard for folks to understand but it's the truth, it's your reality...

Much love sweetie

*hugs for Ally.*
*magics away her hangover headache*
its ok hun :]
and you dont suck!!!
*wraps you up in a big blanket and gets Millie to look after you whilst i go get food and a bath*
how sad is that? 3:25pm...and i'm only just managing to get breakfast and a bath....
pshhhht

Emma i agree with Ally.
you dont need to tell your manager EVERYTHING...
Just start by telling her a little bit...
its like....building a bridge...you have to start at the basic stuff....otherwise it wont hold up....(that was a really poor analagy(?):/)

Thanks guys *hugs* I just told her I was struggling and that this was my way of dealing with it. That I couldn't explain what was wrong because I don't know exactly what was wrong. Anyway, she was really nice and hugged me (I have known her for more than 3 years) and told me to call her if I want to talk and gave me Thursday off work and Friday if I need it.

*hugs Ally* and makes her hang over feel better. Hope your appointment goes alright.

Glad to hear it went ok Emma *bug hugs*
you feeling any better now?


How are you feeling Ally?

Glad to hear it Emma, I'm proud of you *hugs*

My appointment went alright. I wish they could just stitch me up without all the 'I wish you didn't feel the need to do this' concerned crap but I suppose that's just something I'll have to live with.

AND they didn't make me see my counselor today (which considering where it is and how deep I am still a bit suprised)... actually I am not sure how crazy I am about that. My appointment isn't till Thursday and last week really sucked (and included not only the cousins OD and my family learning I cut but a good handful of cuts and three over doses :pinch:).

*pokes at the denial tent fire and makes a tea tray*

Damn, uni starts again tomorrow... I'm not sure I can do this... which sucks because I HAVE to, I am supposed to finish this June.


Think I'll stay in the tent for the time being.

*jumps on Ally with big massive hugs*
I wish i had something useful to say..but my head has gone blank..so i'll sit with you and give you company...if you want?

*hugs Alexx back*

Thanks I could use some company...

Ugh, this is the worst cut I've had I think :pinch:

Oh noes :(
*bandages and looks after it*
:(

*tackles Alexx in a hug*

lol it just hurts the most. I think it's the deepest I've ever done... And usually it doesn't hurt so much after it's been stitched closed... Hmmm, oh well...