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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 02:55 AM

*Hugs Sarah* I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, but if you want to be with your fiance, then that's what you should do. I'm sure you've learned by now that things never turn out for the best when you allow other people to make the descions for you. Why do you have to pick anyway?

*Hugs Sunny if that's ok* Hey. I'm Lia. I feel like that about the ward too. It's the one place where I can at least sort of open up and be myself.

*Hugs Kahlia* Helen's right, that won't make her better and can only make you feel worse in the long run.

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 03:15 AM

Just now, I asked a girl who I have never met if it was odd that I could relate to a fictional character more than anyone else in the world, and the fact that a 20 year old I met on the internet and have never seen IRL knows me far better than my best friends ever will. She said no, it was a good thing that I had a friend like that. How very wrong she was. She doesn't know how lonely this existance is. My friends, my family, they don't know me at all. No one IRL really does.

They think I am cold and uncaring. They think I'm content with my own life and love a laugh and joke. They think I can take the jokes and put downs without turning a hair, when really each tiny comment hurts and just makes me feel that little bit more worthless.

I'm so lonely...I know I have you guys, and I love you and really appreciate the support, but it comes to something when this is the only form I have and you lot know me better than people who have lived with me for years.

I'm so scared of letting go and being happy, my freedom is right at my fingertips, but I have no idea what will happen to me if I reach out and grasp it. Pain is all I have known for so long and I don't know what's outside it. This is my comfort zone and I don't know if I want to leave it. Leaving this means leaving the Ice Queen, and that's what scares me most because it's a part of me now and I don't know what I will do if all of that is stripped away.

risenfromperdition 06-11-2010 04:09 AM

"I'm so scared of letting go and being happy, my freedom is right at my fingertips, but I have no idea what will happen to me if I reach out and grasp it. Pain is all I have known for so long and I don't know what's outside it."

know how you feel =\ and i wish i could help but here if you need someone to talk <3
love you <3

Doikers 06-11-2010 10:55 AM

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Sunny if okay*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Heather*

Well I'm at my parents *Happy Mask on* I'm sorry to here you guys have been having such a rough night :(

On the up side My Grandma is out of hospital for what was going on 2 weeks :)

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 11:26 AM

*Hugs Mark* That's great about your Grandma :)

*Hugs Heather* Thanks :) I less than three you too <3 How are you?

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 02:01 PM

So quiet...

nicole94 06-11-2010 02:06 PM

*hugs ward*

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 02:41 PM

Woo, a person. How are you Nicole? *Hugs*

nicole94 06-11-2010 02:47 PM

lol lia, yesh i am a person....at least i think so :/ but you never know with me, i could quite easily be an alien.
sorry, i'm in a weird mood today :/ but i'm happy :D and also kinda bored :/ *hugs* how're you?

Doikers 06-11-2010 02:57 PM

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Nicole*

Sorry I've offline , we had my Aunt and Uncle up here at my parents.

I am Meeting Hannah L for coffee at 3pm !!!!!!Yey , I so love her , it's the one thing I'm looking forward to these next few days :)

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 03:09 PM

Yay, have fun with that Mark :)

Lol Nicole, well I'm glad you're in a good mood. I don't know what mood I am in, sort of a bit of everything and it's all a little jumbled up. See above post (right at the top) for explanation. But I'm not unhappy as such, and I have a party and a Christmas weekend to look forward to :)

nicole94 06-11-2010 03:13 PM

*hugs mark* have fun :D
*hugs lia* lol. heh, i'm just in a random mood, although it is starting to dissappear as my sister has just come in and started having a go at me :/ gah. sorry you're feeling all jumbled up, thats crappy :( but at least you have things to look forward too :D.

nicole94 06-11-2010 03:15 PM

:O lia, i was just looking at your FB page, you are actually only 15 days older than me :D lol

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 03:24 PM

Ha. I'm the oldest :P

Sorry, that was inmature. I'm an April fool baby, funny story actually. No one believed my mum when she rung them up to tell them she had had me, my brother and sister because not only were we 3 months early, but it was April fools' day. I've got quite a lot to get done today and should really work on my English essay...oh the joys.

nicole94 06-11-2010 03:28 PM

lol, damn it, does that make me the youngest in the ward then? i think it does :/ ahh, fun, i have retail homework to do :/ but i dont think dolores will mind if i dont do it because she knows how much i've been struggling latley.
omfg, i dont know what to do. i wanna hurt myself! i dont wanna be here anymore :( why does he have to do this?

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 03:45 PM

*Hugs Nicole* What's the matter?

nicole94 06-11-2010 03:57 PM

*hugs lia*

my step brother (the one that sexually abused me when we were younger) just messaged me on facebook with a load of pictures of girls private parts and then right at the end a picture of him with his trousers round his ankles :'( it really triggerd me
(sorry if this triggers anyone, i dunno how to do a hide box.)

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 04:14 PM

*Holds Nicole tight* I'm so sorry. Can't you block him, or delete him or something? Report him on fb so they ban his account? For now, please try not to give into those urges. I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry.

nicole94 06-11-2010 04:33 PM

i'm not friends with him, but i might be able to block his profile, although at the same time i wanna keep an eye on him, i dont want him to hurt anybody else, and there is no way i am reporting him incase it gets out that it was me and it would just cause more trouble with my family :( *hugs* i've deleted the message though.

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 05:00 PM

Do your family know what he did? I know you want to keep an eye, but you're not responsible for him and it's not your fault if he does hurt anyone else. Plus, he's not likely to post it on fb if he does, so I don't think being able to see his profile is going to make a difference. I'm pretty sure you can block people on fb, but I don't know how.

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