carole im sorry bout your grandad. i loved mine so much but when he died i coudnt go to the funeral, and i was so upset. so yeah. im thinking of u with sympathy

*thinks of carole and gives her hugs* I feel ur hurt and i wish i could help u get over this..so if there is anything i can do ..just PM me :-P


Stay safe chloe...it's not worth touching ur wrists, u'll have to get stiches and what not - even more hassal...so stay safe, it's the better option *hug*

I miss Callie.

I miss you guys and I need you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much, it's ****ing hard having no net and they won't come and fix it til the 15th >.<

Got a trip on 17th, but not sure if I can bring myself to go....

Anyway I miss you..... xxxxx

I'm struggling too much and wish I could say something to one and all of you to make it all ok.

*cries and has to leave soon* :(

So I won't be able to post now til Monday :(

Emma will keep ringing me hopefully soooo yeah :)

Alex, I'll text you later xxxx

Tc there helen...stay safe and we'll miss u!!!

*Hugs everyone*

I r back. I went three months and it was going well. Now it's starting again. Again.

Denial tent plz.

**hugs xyon & everybody else**

*hugs everyone*

Welcome back Xyon :) PM box is open if you ever need to chat.

Alexx, well done for fighting 'her' I am so so proud of you :) Hope you had a nice sleep. How did the doctors go?

I am sorry about your grandad Carole, and it must be horrible to have to regrieve him when you wake up. Take care of yourself ok?

How are you doing today Ally? *takes some cocoa*

Are You alright Jeremy?



*hugs Chloe* Hope your head feels better soon hun. Is there anyway you could arrange to see your counsellor a bit earlier than that? Like ask for another appointment or something?

Chloe, I am sorry your head hurts, and sorry to hear that you've got such a wait for you next session. I like Emmas idea... Is there any way you could try and get an appointment sooner? *snuggles*

Jeremy, are you ok? You're so supportive of the rest of us but don't often give us the chance to return the favor... *snuggles you* Are you ok friend?

Carole, *hugs* I'm sorry sweetie, about your dreams, sounds hard *warm snuggles*.
Helen, sweetie, we're missing you, know that. Please hang in there hun, I know it's hard. Just remember that we all care here. *warm hugs*

Xyon, welcome to the denial tent, we've got just about everything you can think of... And if we don't have it, just mention it and we do ;-) I hope you are proud of making it 4 months, that is quite an accomplishment. *hugs*

Emma, how goes it sweetie? You checked on all of us but didn't tell us how you are doing *pats the floor next to her...* you doing alright? *hugs*

Me? I'm better than yesterday... Then again, the days just started and I'm already feeling rather out of sorts :crying:... Think I'll go get another hole punched in my body and see if that helps... *sigh*

*curls up in her corner and tries to nap*

Welll....
my day has been odd >.<
Mum wouldnt STOP asking me questions...
things I cant answer...
like "who is She? why is she hear..what does she say..why are you doing this?"
I dont WANT to answer them..i dont WANT to talk to my mum...I want it to go away >.<
Ended up walking out because I'd take her a drink and she'd trap me in the room and ask a thousand questions and I could feel her in my head...bad images...bad thoughts...bad urges...
so I walked out....not that anyone cared...
then I went to the doctors...he's referred me to a community team...told me to go back to A&E if I need to...went home...
more interegation off the parents...sat crying..could barely eat...got annoyed at dad coz he slagged off my doctor...
was told i have to start spending MORE time with them all...just so they can question me more >.<
I fell asleep on the sofa..for hours...
now...I wanna OD...

-sigh-
*hugs for everyone*
Miss you Helen!!!!!

I'm sorry your parents are being like that hun but I am also very very proud of you for going to the doctors and you should be too. I hope the community team help, I have had them a few times too. *puts a magic shield around alexx's head to try and stop 'her' from manipulating thoughts*.

Please don't OD hun, you know it is not the answer and it is 'her' trying to make you do it. It won't help, just make you will. Please stay strong and keep fighting xx

*sits down next to Ally* I don't know how I am hun that's why I didn't say earlier. All I know is that I don't want to be here anymore. I keep getting urges to say things, random urges that pass but also urges to do things. I keep picturing hurting people and it's just tiring. I have work at 9 tomorrow, start a stretch through till end next week and I don't think I can cope with it. I am drinking again....will someone sit with me....pppllleeeaasssee :crying::crying:

Emma I'll sit with youuuu
*carefully takes Emma's drink and gives her nice hot chocolate instead*
see...this is better :]
makes you feel warm 'n' fuzzeh :P
*hugs for youu*

ffs :/
just when I was feeling ok...
My best mate MIGHT not come see me tomorrow because another friend of mine wants to come see me...but I'd rather she came out than him...
he can be really harsh and pissy at times and I cant cope with that right now...it'll make me snap...
so I said I might text him and say I have to re-arrange it...
her response?
"but thats a bit harsh isnt it?"

Well...I'll just friggin OD...then I WILL have an excuse not to see him wont I?!?!

CHRIST ><

ODing may be an excuse not to see him, but it will not mean you see your other friend. *magically changes pills and any other od stuff into smarties....including the blue ones cos I am THAT cool*

If you don't want to see your guy friend then text him like you were going to. If he is going to be harsh then maybe it is for the best anyway *hugs you some more*

But...She is trying to convince me that my best mate will hate me and that I WANT to make them both miss me and I WANT to end up in hospital.

Mum didnt help before...
I said that I'd told the doctor I felt safe in hospital but he'd told me they would admit me straight away because I'd need to get worse first...
and she went
"so you'll only get admitted and feel safe if you did something silly.."
It just sounded like she was egging me on...

I seriously, SERIOUSLY hate that stupid inpatient rule. I understand what you mean about wanting to do something so they HAVE to take you seriously, I really really, honestly DO. But it could so easily go wrong, there would be such a delicate balance between hurting yourself badly enough for them to take yourself seriously and dying. And I don't want you to hurt or die :(

but I need to be somewhere safe :crying:
everyday...every minute of every day...the ideas are there...
in the back of my head..
making the plans
perfecting the plans
collecting the things I need...
but I always say bye to someone...and they talk me out of it...
or something changes and I put it off...
I just want to feel safe...

I get that hun, I do. But please don't hurt yourself. Explain everything to the crisis team and they may be able to help in someway. Please give it a chance. For us? (yes I do realise this is slight emotional blackmail). We care about you. Could you go to A+E and explain exactly how you feel before you do anything?