Ive got to go i have to try harder to sleep otherwise i will just lose it at work. I hate haveing the chaos in my mind i never know whats going on. I am usualy calculated (In RL). so lost.

*hides* i don't wan tot be at work today. why do i have to go to a stupid meeting about bunge drinking and how we can intervene? Stupid. >.>

Later on I get to figure out what temp to press denim made with rayon along with the cotton. Rayon? In denim? That explains why it is shimmery.

I really need to exercise later. I do it late afternoon ish when it is cooler. But last time i went out with my toy soccer ball, husband snitched it away, not fun.

But as weird as it may seem, i do want to keep working at it. See if I can get more comfortable and nimble in my footing again. I slipped on a trail yesterday. I'm also going to have to give up and use my walking stick all of the time I guess. It wasn't even a trail, just a little path down to the river.

its best to be safe though hunni

i need a freaking stick to walk up the stairs at my house >.< stupid stairs.

Yep, start at the rayon temp and work my way up.

i fell down mine once. ever since them i've been almost afraid of them

I've falled up and down these stairs so many times it's not funny >.< I just... i slip and ka splat...

are they dangerous then?
I slipped on ours cause the paint had come off, it was just bare wood. Ours are outside, lead to the front door of our condo/flat. I spent the five weeks after I fell going up and down them on my hands, rear, and good foot.

I fainted down my stairs...a few weeks ago...

ouch. injuries?

funnily enough...not a scratch...fell down the stairs...onto a tiled floor and hit an electricity cupboard (which is at the foot of the stairs)

not a scratch, scrape, cut or bruise...
:/

*sleepiely crashes in on the group cuddle*
I fell asleep starring at my wall... Guess when your mind is elsewhere that's what happens :yawn:

can i go home now? i feel queasy... i think i jolted myself silly when i fell >.,

Well Jess, I'd let you go home but I'm not sure your work would understand if you told them your ****ed up American friend said it was ok lol

you're not ****ed up ally babes! *cuddles* i actually have time saved up so i could go home BUTY i have a meeting >.< so i can't. stupid.

*snuggles her lovely uncle*
Yes, the floor is good... As I was laying in bed the wall was most convinent for me.

Jeff, please don't drink, it won't help, believe me... I've already been sick today :pinch:. It's not worth it.


And please stay safe *cuddles*

Jeff please don't do it. It isn't worth it.

I wish I knew what to do to help you. I'm a bit restless, so I guess I'll walk around the ward for a bit, making sure everyone is safe as can be.

Codependent moron that I am.

pft. if you're codependent then so am i. it's not a BAD thing! *cuddles*

*returns to bathroom* not feeling very good in the tummy region!

Mind if a newbie checks herself in here?
Very urgy lately after the therapist I was seeing (and had become quite attached to honestly) flipped out about my abuse history and deemed me "too bad" and too damaged for her to work with. Logically I know she sucked and how she acted wasn't very professional but it still is hurting. (Started seeing someone new who seems a lot more 'with it' as far as dealing with abuse stuff)

You can do it daddy... I know you can!!! :yeah:

*welcomes Mango to the Ward*

*pounces her daddy* don't be silly... I will never turn away in disgust

me likes hugs :-)

no daddy... no *holds your hand tight*

I turn away from a mirror when i see my gut.

sigh

*hugs Susan*

how are you tonight Susan?

*hugs Amanda and Jeff*

what was i supposed to email you about Susan? I forget...
I just remember seeing you asking me to email you

*cuddles Jeff, Susan, Amanda & Jess tight*

Hello there Mango *waves* sounds like you're pretty hurt by your old therapists reaction. I would like to let you know (BA in psych here) that if a therapist feels they can not help and/or deal with a client due to some personal beliefs (they don't feel comfortable for personal moral reasons to treat a child rapest, or they were abused as a child and so would not be able to avoide counter transferencr) or they are not qualified to deal with some issues or use a certain technique that might benefit the client then they have a moral duty to find that client someone who is better able to help them. I don't know what she said, how she reacted... Certainly it sounds like she could have behaved a bit better. And I am very sorry you had become attached, that can't have been easy (I've only got two sessions left with the counselor I've had for almost a year and it's not easy thinking about that relationship ending)... I guess, to just stop myself from boring you to tears, I just wanted to let you know that it is probably nothing personal sweetie, and not a reflection on you *hugs*.
Feel free to avoid the crazy girl who lectures the first time she talks to you *rolls eyes at self* I'm a bit out of it today, sorry... I'm not usually this bad... I still throw stuff out there but not this badly... And now I'm going to shut the hell up and go back to my corner. Really, welcome.

*retreats to her corner and resumes staring vacantly at the wall*

about the stuff for the prayer shawls. if you pay for yarn and shipping, i'll make one or two up for you.

I have a back ache, don't know why. Confused about life. happy about sewing.

*carefully and gently massages Susan's back*

thank you. i need to start exercising. even it is just to walk down to the city park and kinda hang from the kids "monkey bars" for a few minutes.
but I worry about worrying the parents since I'm 42 and don't have kids myself.
and im too lazy. never mind that i have just one month to get into shape for our mountain trip in september.
Sigh

WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK?! You shouldn't...

I don't want parents to feel that a strange adult is a threat to their children.
Even when I'm sewing for a child, i have their parent take their measurements. Or when I taught a sewing class, i had the girls measure each other.

It isn't what the adults think of me stretching from the monkey bars. Not at all.

do it when school is in?

Sorry haven't been around lately

Hope everyone is okies there xxx

*cuddles ppl in the psych ward*

We're on summer break up here, till early september.

I'm just careful about it, don't approach the kids if they are there. wait till they are away from that section. Then when I put my hands on the highest bar i can reach on tip-toe the parents understand or accept. Please pardon my paranoia. But since i'm also childless, i try to be super careful.

Some times here I'll just put my fingers over the frame over the doorway. not as good but helps.

g'night.

morning all i am sore today :(
*goes and cuddles up in corner with blanket and pillows*

My sister wants to look through the box of memories I have of my mum. Don't think I'm in the right place to be doing that, feel really unsafe.

put on meds today.
scared.

zowie could she not do it on her own if your not strong enough right now?
what meds have you been put on effe you ok about going on them?

*cuddles everyone*
*gulps diet pepsi*

Had to go through the box with my lil sis, but it wasn't too bad.
Had an appointment with a psychologist today which didn't go very well, Beth was being really nasty and I found it hard to concentrate.

Chloe, why are you afraid of the meds?

Zowie, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time.

*cuddles you both*

Meeting day today, then a stop at the fabric store on my way home. Actually it is six miles out of my way but no matter. Oh yeah, I can stop at Wal*mart while I'm in the area.

I need elastic and velcro for a job I am doing. The job is more service than profit. Which is fine. Only he may not like it if I charge him for the sewing machine needle. I'm working with velcro obviously and that is tough on machine needles. Once I have used one on velcro, once the project is finished, the needle goes in the trash.

Luxury problems.

*hugs zowie and chloe*

hey just thought i'd let ppl know i'm probs gonna be mainly offline until monday or tuesday.. hope everyone is ok in the meantime and i'll leave a massive bag of assorted hugs near the door for any who want them. x

Take care Horizon Surfer.

Hi Jeff. How are you?

hi all, sorry to hear you had a bad day at work jeff you want me to come kick some ass for ya ;)
what is it your making bear?

I'm replacing the elastic on a bag that is used to hold a special container of ice gel. The elastic is all stretched out. That won't take long to fix once I have the velcro and elastic. I've already added length to the weight belts this guy uses to support his back, which is basically disintigrating as far as I can figure from what he told me.

I usually go early to todays meeting to have lunch with someone. Only i'm tired of struggling to hear her. And tired of the way she pats my arm to get my attention. I don't mind taking her home.

Your wife seems to have missed "in sickness..." and "....for worse"

Wish I knew what to say about the job. I've had my own adventures but was working retail for minimum wage. Then working for myself.

Do you need to stow a first aid kit in your desk? Or at least some bang-aids?
But for me, i think of bang aids as being a business expense.

I'm getting a slow start this morning. Even my glasses need to be cleaned. I'll start moving better at around the third diet pepsi.

I should be back at around 5pm Pacific time. At least I get to use the SUV today. No, we are not conspicuous consumers. We explore ghost towns for a hobby. Wanna discuss how many times i pushed my old mustang or our old toyota pickup truck out of sand while my husband drove?

*cuddles everyone*

i can't even sew a hem lol