*checks in and curls up by the heater*

*puts cookies and chocolate on table and a mug of water and some plastic cups*

... Where can I go to sleep?

Reckons the only place I should be right now is a psych ward to get my head straightened out and for safety reasons

Checking in because apparently I'm selfish for wanting to help others and no one cares about my pain.

*goes to the corner and hurts herself before the psychs get to see her tool*

Checking in but wants to go to sleep and never wakeup

*hugs for all*

*replenishes the cookies and chocolate that m0nk put out earlier*

Too many nightmares, too many people in my mind fighting for control... make them stop before I go crazy

I don't know how much I can take this emotional pain

*checks in* I'm staying here until this weekend is finally over

*checks in* I really feel the need to hurt myself or die right now

*checks in* Just gonna stay here. Safe here.
*snuggles in blankets*

Here's the safest place for the midnightphoenix right now

Oh man, maybe this is what I needed... Break out the coloring pages and ginger ale! :P

Checks in again it's gonna be a long couple of days

checks in.

How are you all?

I'm fine. I've been back a little while on day release.....
Higs for slip, angeldevil, eyeshining and Laura.

COLORING BOOKS!!! *five year old face*

-rocks back and forth- Can't I stay here and not see the mummy-in-law tomorow with all the evil food and social interaction, ontop of a chest infection. Wahhhhhh !!! :-( :-( :-(

Don't think I will be out for a while heads a crazy mess right now

You asked me to show you.
To show you the angel you saw in my eyes.
Not caring if the angel has been lost.
Thinking of selfish desires.
Not caring that the angel has been shot down.
Running underneath a darkening sky.
You were the one who shot the arrow.
The arrow that pierced my armour of sorrow.
Not caring what happened to the angel who fell.
I changed for you.
I change for you.

Yet.
You are not satisfied.
What do you want me to do?
Clear the road ahead of you?
Destroy myself as you destroy me?
Day by day, I change.
Day by day, I go on.
This is the only thing I want to know.
What do you want of me?

Why don't you leave me now?
Why don't you let me leave?
I have nothing left to give.
Why do you keep asking for more?
Running around in your garden.
Seeing only the green and not the fading yellow.
Looking around, you see nothing, but what you wish.
Closing the final gate. So I can never go away.
If only my wings were still here.
As I died, I became human.
As I watched you play your game.
I died.

You are telling me to look around.
Look at all the green.
Yet all I see, are the winternights coming with speed of light.
There is nothing left for me to have here.
There is nothing I can do.
There is nothing you see.
As I time after time try to escape.
You find me, hiding in the bullets between our fights.
You see me but fail to see the bullets that were a part of me.
Thinking once again that all is well, you run around in your garden, as I watch you play.

Still I keep trying to escape. though I know that I can't.
Still I try.
I'll protect you from anything but yourself.
You are lost within your wishes.
You wish to fade, though you do not see those who have the need of it.
Still you wish to fade, though you have no reason to.

I am all the fake things you despise.
Though you don't see.
You fail to see that I changed from what I used to be.
You fail to notice that you changed me.
I know that I see what you are.
Just a child playing in the garden of life.
Playing with things best left alone.
But I know you must have your own experience.
I can't stop you, though I should.
I know I can run away.
I know I should.
Though I know I can't.

Some things are what they are.
And there is nothing more I can do.
And there is no reason for me to linger.
Though I do.

As I sit and watch you play, I see another angel.
One who is falling onto the earth.
As I watch him fall.
I see the arrow that pierced his armour.
And I know that he is doomed to the same as I.
I know that he will sit and watch someone play.
Though I hope he will keep his wings.