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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

one_step_closer 19-09-2010 09:03 PM

I'm so, so low. I don't want to accept that I have BPD (I only found out on Friday when my medical records that I requested came through, no one thought to tell me.) I should have recognised the symptoms. I do anything to avoid abandonment, my SI has gotten worse, and I have overdosed 11 times this year. My psychologist kept hinting that I might have it but I know that he knew because there was a letter sent to him when I was diagnosed.

Doikers 19-09-2010 09:07 PM

Quote:

I only found out on Friday when my medical records that I requested came through, no one thought to tell me
That sucks Lindsay , you SHOULD have been told when you were diagnosed . I'm sorry you had to find out like that and that you are so very low :(

misskitty112 19-09-2010 09:10 PM

*hugs everyone*
I harmed last night. At my grandparents house. With my brother asleep mere feet away from me. What the heck is wrong with my brain anymore?

I need to try to write more in my blog about everything going on in my head that's bothering me, but it's exhausting.

Am I allowed to give up yet?

Anyway, I took some pics with my brother this weekend, since I never see him anymore.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : pics


I miss him already... again.

Doikers 19-09-2010 09:21 PM

I'm sorry you harmed Felicia *Hugs* Theres nothing wrong with your brain , it just sounds like you were very very triggered.
No you can't give up yet ,please hold on :)
You and your brother look like you are having bunches of fun though , thats so cool :-)

misskitty112 19-09-2010 09:27 PM

Eh, yeah. I worked an auction Saturday evening for my grandparents (they're auctioneers) and it always really triggers me, cause no matter my job, I can't keep up. But at least I get money, I suppose.

I'm holding on, but everything keeps piling up and I can't even explain it.

And yeah... we were super bored on the way to church this morning. Yay for my grandparents living out in the country! So... to keep us occupied, we took pictures and tried to make Star Wars parodies of songs on my ipod.

Doikers 19-09-2010 09:37 PM

Well I'm going to go to bed , I've spent much of today there but I hope I'll sleep well and feel brighter tomorrow .

Star wars parodies ! sounds fun :) *Hugs*

*Spots and hugs Kahlia and Oliver*

SparkleKitten 19-09-2010 09:53 PM

I got a voulenteer place with kitties, can do whatever I want with them and due to previous experience in a vets with the quarrantine and isolation ward I might be able to work with less healthy more attention hungry kitties, so excited about it. Mums annoyed at me because I'm going to go with kitties and that I won't see my nan friday, even though I decided missing a 2h tea friday is better than missing 8h Saturday or 4h Sunday with my family, but no. Apparently Sunday would be better. *sigh* I'm just glad I'm able to do this, it should be really good for me to get to help people out, and cats out. Might get a place talking to the public too after a few weeks, which would be lovely. I really do crave a career in animal care but I'll never be a vet and after years of mum telling me I must go into a well paid job there's not much else, most animal care jobs are like 15k per year... I don't know what I want to do really, just got this degree to get through first.

shadowedsoul 19-09-2010 10:01 PM

cuddles all. nevermind being stuiped

shadowedsoul 20-09-2010 12:22 AM

curls up and crys

FlyingNy 20-09-2010 12:43 AM

*Hugs Jill tightly* Do you want to talk about it honey?

I need to know something. Why can no one else see it? I am covered in dirt, it's all over me. I'm a monster. A disgusting, horrible, worthless monster but no one else can see it. They all think I'm nice, caring, but I'm not. I screw up people's live and try time and time again to tell them what I really am before it's too late but no one believes me and I don't understand it. How come no one else can see it?

shadowedsoul 20-09-2010 12:57 AM

hugs lia tighly back. erm got really stuiped thoughts running through my head. erm want to go to sleep and not wake up. please =[ sorry

FlyingNy 20-09-2010 01:02 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling so low Jill. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself? Please try not to do anything stupid. I'd miss you. *Leaves jar or hugs for later.*

Scarletdreamer 20-09-2010 01:03 AM

Lia, sweetie, you aren't what you say you are. I know that my telling you that probably won't do diddly-squat but... I do believe that you are kind, caring, thoughtful, & sweet... no matter what you think of yourself. I have seen no signs, none whatsoever, of you being a monster. I just hope that someday you can see you the way that I see you. *cuddles* How are you doing tonight??

Jill, don't do anything stupid, please? We would all miss you if you did... although that being said, I do understand the desire to not be here anymore. :( It hurts... and is scary... but you can work through it. *hugs*

Sorry for not replying to more of you... except *big hugs* to Laura, since you said you needed them. <3 And *cuddles* to everyone to whom I didn't reply, so sorry. :( I wish I had the energy to do epic replies but lately, been totally lacking in energy of any sort. :( Sorry. :'(

Past 3 nights I've cried (including tonight). Feel so stupid doing so, like I'm weak etc., etc., etc. WTB additional parents. :( Probably some of you all do too. Sorry to whinge on about this, it's just that it hurts.so.damn.much and I'm not quite sure how to get over it. :'( Probably gonna update my r/v with my sorrows and woes so you all don't have to put up with it here. :-/

*hides in the warren where no one can find her*

shadowedsoul 20-09-2010 01:15 AM

hugs everbody, sorry this isnt fair, forget i said anything.

Scarletdreamer 20-09-2010 02:52 AM

I can't do this anymore.

:crying:

Kahlia1981 20-09-2010 03:04 AM

*huggles/waves at all*

Feeling a bit over it at the moment.

Just thought I'd share something interesting. A surgeon in the "fair" country of Australia is planning a legal class action aimed at banning cigarettes in Australia along the lines of action taken by victims of asbestos against James Hardie. If it was achieved - which would set an interesting precedent, the government would be forced to pay out billions in damages/compensation to smokers and help them to quit and so forth. They'd also lose trillions of dollars a year in revenue from cigarette sales. So it could be extremely interesting.

anarchistl0ve 20-09-2010 06:27 AM

*hugs to everyone* i wish i could take all your hurts. I would be sad if i heard any of you passed on.

risenfromperdition 20-09-2010 06:57 AM

hey becca =]
how is you?

xxjuliexx 20-09-2010 08:14 AM

*sniffles* hi all

one_step_closer 20-09-2010 10:57 AM

*hugs everyone*

I'm starting my first day as assistant team leader with the Prince's Trust. I don't feel like I can do this. My social skills and leadership skills are rubbish.


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