relapse
 

if anyone sees this please suggest something I can do to make it stop. I've been clean since January and I felt a lot better and I was so much happier but I feel it coming back and I started to SI again and I can feel myself changing again.

Can you identify a trigger that may have started all of this again? Did something happen to make you feel the need to SI? Are you doing it out of a need or is it to help you feel better about something else? I think the first step is always to identify why you want to SI. Then you can go about finding ways to know how to help yourself stop.

Good advice activebrain.
IDK anything about your situation but I think it sometimes is to be cool. Not panic. **** happens but you don't necessary go back to the bad place you were before. Maybe it's just a relapse and you'll be out of it soon. Given that it's not something that has triggered you, as activebrain suggests.
Take care