Things are spiraling
 

theres been alot of talk lately about SA in group (therapy) and i cant handle it, i cant hear about it, i cant think about it- i dont want to. Im struggling alot with sh/od/ed and suicidal ideas lately and i think that thinking about and hearing about others experiences of SA has made things so much worse.

Add to that my younger brother (also abused) has come back into my life and with him- he brings that baggage and how that impacted upon his own life- i know what happened and the outcomes of it.

And my community nurse is away until the 2nd and i have a fill in who doesnt know this stuff so i cant tell her.... i shoudl try in group but its too hard to talk about... i dont even know if i can hold on and stay ok until my nurse gets back.

im 27- i shouldnt feel like this- like a scared little child.

Sorry you're struggling. Sitting with you. Have also been abused a lot in my life. It can be exhausting sorting through this stuff. Can you maybe take a break from group if it is triggering you too badly?

im not sure exactly there are specific memories of different types of abuse and then ive been told (by child protective serivices) that theres was alot more then i remember.

I'm sorry to hear that. Supporting you.

thank you:crying:
This is too hard. I hate have this as a constant presense in my mind. everything i do to make it go away is only temporary. and its risky... plus i keep ending up in trouble.