I'm really disorientated. I posted on my own thread. I don't know what I said on there. It doesn't make sense to me. Nothing does.

I'm a bad person.

Your not a bad person at all and its ok to write on your own thread. Look after yourself hun

You're not a bad person Dylan *Hugs*

*Hugs Gemma* Please talk to us hun?

*hugs all*

I don't know what to do. I'm dissociated ALL the time. I don't remember the last time I was not dissociated. I don't think I want to 'come back', it scares me.

Yep a major Beatles fan :)

*hugs everyone*

Today I am actually feeling okay which is nice since the last few days have been the worst yet. I know that tonight it will probably get bad again but I am going to try and enjoy my day. I may go to the fair tonight but not sure yet.

just tired of everything thats happend and is happeing and i cant handle it anymore ....i just dont want to be alive anymore i dont have anyone inmy life that cares about me or that wants to help me i have no one....so many people have told me to just go and kill myself and i should just listen to them even my parents told me they wouldnt be botherd if i did that im worth nothing ...voices are too hard to control ...i just feel so unhappy in a life that i dont want anymore

May i have some safe cuddles please? my leg is really painful tonight
:( and im sad i was ok all day and now im in bed i just melted.

*safe hugs ya*

thank you i like safe hugs am v scared tonight.

really need someone to talk to or something

Saphire would PM-ing someone on RYL help? Or phoning crisis team?

i dont know who to pm :( and im too scared to phone crisis

Left a letter for my dad to find. Wish me luck

good luck hun xx

cant do this anymore :'(

PM anyone in this thread Saphire *hugs*

*hugs Huayruro* hope it goes well

i dont just want to pm someone random i want them to say i can :/

He still hasn't found it yet. We'll see what comes of this haha

EDIT: He's gone to sleep, so I suppose this will wait until tomorrow

I had a rough day today and I don't know why - I left my first job to go to my second and all I could think of was how much I wanted to injure. My second job cheered me up and then I had a great night with a friend who knew I needed a distraction... My life should be great right now but I just want to crawl into a corner and cry...

I wish someone else would be the mama bear for once and give me a break.

*curls into ball*

Saphire, you're welcome to PM me anytime though I'm pretty sure we're on totally different time zones and I'm not on as much as I'd like to be.

RootsbeforeBranches, I know that feeling. I'm constantly feeling as though I need even a tiny break. Hang in there.

Today was great until I had to deal with my X. He upset me so bad I was shaking and I wanted to SI so badly after... I'm glad my sis-in-law was here to distract me though.

cant cope with this anymore i really cant. Im sorry im sorry im sorry.

Hi everyone, sorry for lack of individuals. Just letting you know I got out of hospital yesterday. Trying to settle in at home.

hey hun

hope your doing ok. *hugs*

*hugs all*

Lidsay: I hope you are settling in well.

*Hugs Lindsay* Welcome Home Hun.

*hugs Mark* how are you today?

Hi everyone, hope it's okay I'm here. I'm having difficulty telling the difference between my friends and people who will hurt me, everyone scares me, and I have to see someone I don't want to later. I'm so nervous, and I can't dissociate in case I hurt myself and people see. Sorry, I'm one big ball of anxiety atm.
Hope everyone's okay.

Katie x

*hugs Katie* hi there. Not being allowed to dissociate always means a lot of pressure... for me anyway. It's the same for me. I'm not allowing myself to dissociate because of the self harm. Is there a safe place where you could dissociate but not be able to hurt yourself?

Welcome Home one-step, hope everyone else is ok (((hugs and snuggles)))

I don't know, because I don't know why I hurt myself while out of it sometimes and not others. But the people I'll be with don't know anything and I can't tell them. Thing is, when I'm not dissociating I don't want to hurt myself, it only happens when I'm somehow not in control of myself :( I wish I didn't have to go.
How are you doing Laura? Did you hear back from the special unit yet? *hugs*

Welcome Katie *Hugs if okay?* I'm Mark :)

Good luck *Laura Hugs*

*Glomps Dylan* How are you?

I'm sick

I won't see the counsellor for 3 weeks because he's away

What if I can't cope???

*hugs Dylan*
*hugs Mark*
*hugs Katie* I called the insurance and the hospital to ask them how far things were and at first they all didn't know anything. Then I got angry and was probably not really friendly anymore and they told me things. I think I have to wait 3 or 4 more weeks until I can go there. Which is super bad, because college starts on september 3rd.
I know what you mean when you say that you don't want to harm when you are not dissociated. I don't want to harm, but when I'm having one of the attack thingies it has happened that I cut and didn't remember doing it.

*sits rocking and shaking in the corner* make it stop. I cant cope anymore.

*Hugs Faye* I'm from Wilshire too!

*hugs* are you? where abouts?Im in salisbury area how did doctors go today? thanks for the hugs

I now live in Wales but I'm from Wroughton

ah cool, i grew up in kingston upon thames but moved here when i turned 18. Do you prefer wales?

I do ,I've become a bumpkin :P

lol cool. My body is tired but im not sleepy :/

i know how you feel =\ so bit useless but... <3 although i do wanna most times. but it scares me when it happens.
im around.

The voice in my head keeps playing the same things on repeat, "you're fat. You're ugly. You're worthless. You're pathetic." - how come I would never let anyone else speak to me that way but I can't stop myself...

I feel like I'm hiding all of this and it's driving me insane

heads are stupid like that :/

I don't like it. It keeps me from sleeping

*hugs all and leaves goodies on the table*

Brownies and cookies and stuffs... all yummy :D

Besides that I am just going to sit in the corner and stare at th wall

mmmbrownies - Hey Matt, wanna watch some old school Disney movies instead of staring at the wall? I promise I won't sing along too loud.

checks in for the day!!

Ooh did someone say brownies?

*gives everyone hugs and bring choc chip cookies into the thread*

*Huggles My Wardies*

Drained....

whats up mark? hugs

im in a weird mood today i feel a bit strange