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-   -   new ways. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=191762)

Britt2012 21-07-2012 05:51 AM

new ways.
I was forced to quit my self harming and it has been rough. Its on my mind everyday and i feel so helpless. Ive noticed lately that in a tense or upseting situation ill either pinch or bite myself extreamly hard. Is this normal?

lala... 21-07-2012 10:18 AM

It's a method of replacement. You have lost one coping mechanism and by the sounds of it you haven't been advised on or able to find healthier ones, so you turn back to what you know to cope but in a different form. You also said you've been forced to stop, but you should know that this is still self harm. As for if it's 'normal,' I would say this is the wrong word to describe it considering the nature of the situation. I would however say that it's probably common.

Tig 21-07-2012 11:58 AM

I completely echo what Lala said above.

I'm wondering if you have thought about things other than self harm that might get you through difficult periods? One thing that came to my mind for what you described was perhaps having something like a stress ball that you can squeeze when you are in a stressful situation? That would only be the initial thing to dealing with it but once you were away from that situation or had the time, you could look at doing something else to feel better like writing, doing something creative, exercise etc.


PassedExpectations 21-07-2012 07:21 PM

yeah... not got much to add. but i use moldable art erasers instead of stress balls or play-do type things. you can mush it and pick it apart, but it actually takes a reasonable amount of strength. and it doesn't leave residues

Danceintherain804 23-07-2012 05:40 AM

I DEFINITELY do the exact same thing. It's definitely not uncommon!
When I didn't have access to razors anymore I would scratch and bite myself and such desperate to leave a mark because I missed what I used to do. So I totally get it <3
In response to what Tig said - I don't specifically find things like stress balls to be any type of magical cure... It's really hard to think about anything other than hurting yourself when you want to. I find that the thing that most effectively stops me from hurting myself is placing myself around other people. I never WANT to be around other people at this time, and it doesn't make me FEEL any better, but it effectively stops me from hurting myself, you know? And then you get the initial thought out of your mind and it calms you down.
But I guess things like stress balls do work for some people. I just know it doesn't actually work for everyone especially when they're so consumed with self harming thoughts.

Britt2012 25-07-2012 12:29 PM

Thanks to everyone for replies. And I see now how it's a replacement, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. But I miss my self harm alot.. My mom threatened to send me to CPEP if I do it again.. Which scares the hell it of me.. I dont know. I'm trying my hardest not to. She just doesn't get the "addiction" I have to it.

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