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-   -   Is this too wordy? yea or nay? (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=228180)

Rug 11-11-2014 11:46 PM

Is this too wordy? yea or nay?
 


The light of life is fleeting, flying away from me more briskly than I can pursue,
as I travel, forward-looking, with an awkward and laboured lick toward the ultimate deadline.
Dreams had red-shifted away from me in the bloody murder of time wasted,
until I finally found a place to pause and rest. Far too late for liberation or release.

I am the antonym of salvation resting loyally on the shoulders of those,
whom I will only bring down with me as I reach up to the stars or the darkness between.
Unsurprisingly I chaperon my hand back to my heart filling the void with oblivion.
Unable to feel my way passed the rational outer wit that foolishly protects a simpleton.

Indifferent to the apathy that dumbs down and numbs my ability to emote.
Now able to move faster than I ever could and with eyes that can focus on the Neverland of light
whilst simultaneously knowing I am too far gone. Predestine to a permanent and paralyzed cold,
tearing apart any happy thought. Feeling tender to the touch and far too tired to wait.

Rug 13-11-2014 05:45 PM

In case people are worried about being honest I wont mind if you post what you think I like feedback. Good or bad.


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