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*Hugs Lia* you okay this evening?
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Oh, wow, I guess it is evening. Yeah, I'm alright. Managed to get some work done (ish) I've now officailly caught up on my reading for English and might do some philosophy. Meh. Effort though.
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Ohh good for you Lia :) It is evening yes , even Night soon , when does one end and the other begin ? If I wasn't on my Antabuse I would have been and got Alcohol by now :( Taking Diaz doesn't help when I'm feeling low it helps with anxiety , I cannot take another full blown depressive episode , I just can't , What can I do? hmmmmm sorry
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*Hugs Mark* Is there anything that cheers you up, or at least stops you falling into one of those moods? I sometimes find, that when I am beginning to sink, just talking to someone keeps me grounded. Not about anything in particular, we can ramble on about any old thing, it just helps knowing someone else is there and I am not the only one in the world. And I don't know when evening ends, I don't even know when it starts, I've always kinda wondered. You could google it for something to do.
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[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqblwe-dcqM[/ame]
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*hugs ward and then goes and looks for motivation*
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Hmm I'm making Dinner , Frozen vege Lasagne (Which I haven't had in ages) and veg . I could watch the T.V. later , Maybe that would take my mind off of itself . I have DVD of "The Big Bang Theory" which I could watch , that makes me smile . Or I could try and learn My new (Second hand off eBay) game. But first to Google.
Back from Google and WOW it seems to depend on who you are regarding the whole evening thing , But it's night when it's dark some say :) Right I need a Drink , ( non-alcoholic ) Tonic water and PLJ I think |
Enjoy your dinner :)
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But it's dark now and I wouldn't call it night yet. More evening with a hint of nightness about it.
Hello Helen *hugs* How are you? |
Thanks Helen , You enjoy yours too ,what you having? (Random question I know) *Hugs* How's your head?
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*hugs ward*
I'm sorry, my head's not working for individuals today.... I'm thinking of you all though<3 |
*Hugs Felicia*
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I'm hunggrryyyyy. I hope dinner's ready soon. I probably won't eat half of it, but at least I can take the edge off.
*Hugs Felicia* I hope you're as alright as you can be. |
OOhh Lia Have a nice Dinner :)
I washed one of my blankets today and it's too wet to sleep under tonight so I guess I'll get under my Duvet . , I should probably put on my heating hmm.... |
hugs everyone
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I just want to sleep :S
I am overwhelmed by my game manual, how pathetic , I hope I feel more "UP" tomorrow. *Sigh* sorry I'm not going to bed yet , I'll just lay there and my mind would race and I'd feel worse. *Go's off to distract his self* |
*Hugs Louise*
How are you? |
soso, got a really sore knee nearly broke it. hating this snow. how are you
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You fell too? erp. Me too, My hip hurts .*Huggles*
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hugs, fell down the stairs, slipped
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Oh :( Sorry Louise I fell on the ice , It's steep here and I fell but then I fell on a flat bit too :S
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that sounds sore, the ice is really slippy and dangerous.
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Sounds painful Louise :S
That was fun. Not. I don't even care anymore, I stopped caring long ago. |
Whats up Lia? Are you okay? :S
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Yeah I'm fine. Like I said I really couldn't care less anymore. I've never really cared, it's always been the norm to be treated like...well like what really? I can't even say '****' because in my opinion, I'm not. This is the complete norm, how I expect it to be. Meh, it'll soon be Christmas.
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If you wanna talk Lia , I'll listen *Hugs*
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Louise, ouch about your knee. FML. If being suicidal, ill and suffering with a migraine isn't enough. My Mum's been in a right ****ing mood with me today :'( She now thinks I'm cutting again JOY >.< She clearly doesn't trust me and that ****ing hurts. She didn't speak to me throughout the whole of dinner. FML I just need to die now. I'm over everything. I can't do this :'( |
I'm listening too, Lia. *hugs*
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*Hugs Helen Tons*
*Hugs Felicia* |
*Hugs Helen* I understand how that feels. My best friend doesn't trust me either and she thinks I'm the Ice Queen the rest of the world believe I am. That hurts. Like hell. So I can understand. If it weren't for the fact that it's December, I'd advise you to go around in shorts and a vest top to prove that you aren't. So that was basically useless information seeing as it is. Now this is just a whole load of pointless jumble. Like me. Please try and distract yourself, do something you enjoy, rock out to Christmas music, just something to take your mind off the thoughts. Don't forget that you've done so well to be free as long as you have and no one, not even your mum, can take that away from you.
And thanks Mark and Felicia, I really do love you guys, but I'm really alright :) |
One of my old friends was supposed to be coming to visit tonight but I've convinced him not to come. I've pushed him away. I desperately want people in my life but at the same time i'm scared of them because of social anxiety, and of losing them. I've told him that there's no point in coming to see me, that i'm not who I used to be and that I don't want to see anyone because I just mess up friendships. He still wants to see me though but i've asked him to make it another night because I am distressed by all of this. Losing my only close friend because I told her too much about my mental health problems has made everything worse for me.
I hate myself for being like this, for being me. I'm never going to be comfortable around anyone. I've got myself into a state and tried to phone the voluntary crisis team but it's ringing out. It's not supposed to do that. If they are out of the office they divert calls to their mobile phone. I don't know what to do The following content has been hidden - Reason : Suicide trigger
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I read two more pages of my game manual , Darn this lack of concentration and motivation but I read them , Thats a start right? I hope the game proves more of a distraction than the manual. Games , isn't this rather pathetic for a 30 year old?
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Oh Lindsay Don't do that!:( Please hun , Keep talking to us , You won't be like this for good , Life gets better , it has too , for every single one of us :) . Perhaps seeing your friend one night will lift your mood , even a touch ?
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It's not pathetic Mark. I'm 16 and watched cbeebies (a channel of shows desgined for five year olds). I still watch a programme I watched when I was four whenever I am channel hopping and it's on. My best guy friend and I also 'raved' down the street making wooing noises. Seriosly, nothing is ever pathetic classed by age :)
Glad you actually managed to make sense of it Helen :) Are you managing to distract yourself at all? *Hugs lindsey* I know how you feel (most over used phrase of the day), I am so scared my friends will hate me if I dare to share any of this with them, but Mark's right, maybe he can make you feel better. You don't have to talk about anything heavy, you can just chillax and try and have a good time. |
Yeah..at the moment. I'm watching X Factor & talking to my best friend.
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Good :) Have you been watching Casualty lately Helen? (I'm not a stalker, I saw you've posted on the thread a few times).
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No I haven't. Been paying more attention to X Factor lol :P
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Oh you bum, I'll have to find someone else to discuss this issue with then. Gutted at my life ;)
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I only have 2 more papers to write, and 3 tests and I'll have survived this semester. This stupid Brit Lit paper is kicking my ass though.
*sighhhh* 3 pages down, at least 4 more to go. |
You're getting there Felicia :) You can totally do it !!
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Lia - tell me anyway? :P
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Well sure, this next part will make no sense to anyone bar Helen and fellow watchers (that makes me sound like someone off Buffy the Vampire Slayer), I am just confused about what in the world is going on with the whole Kirsty/Adam/Warren storyline. Have you seen any of those episodes? I'm not quite sure what is going on in that marriage of theirs...
...And to anyone that doesn't watch it, I have made it seem as if there's this weird three way marriage thing going on. And well done Felicia :) You'll get there. |
Lia :P A Fellow Buffy Watcher? (No pun intended) Gosh I haven't watched that in a while , wow , Do you get thehorrorchannel on Free sky? Angel is on it at 8pm weekdays , I think it just started last week. Sky Channel 319 , (I don't work for Sky:p Heh)
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Right Night Wardmates :)
*Hugs y'all* |
I don't watch Angel and I've only seen a few Buffy episodes. Some of my favourites are 'Helpless' 'Hush' 'Killed by Death' and 'Ted'. I like the more creepy ones. Night night. *Hugs*
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Can't help I'm afraid Lia :( Maybe ask in Casualty thread?
God I'm supposed to be doing something nice for myself, my best friend told me I had to before she went to bed =/ Why do the both of us have to be ill & struggling so much, it's not ****ing fair :'( I can't do this, I really feel like I can't. |
Alas, I will have to use finger energy to go find it!
*Hugs Helen* You can do this, and you will both get through it. You've gone so long without SI, you must be proud of that and it proves you can overcome things. |
*hugs Lia* I know we'll both get through it :) I know I should be proud but I don't really feel proud :S
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You should be. It's something to be proud of and more than I can do. You can do this, and I'm proud of you even if you're not.
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