I'd hope your sister's treatment team will have made the decision to stop ECT for a good reason and that they will keep an eye on things. She could have more sessions if it was felt she needed more in the future. Is your sister worried about the ECT finishing?
About eating less, can you ask to talk things through with someone but mention the importance of listening to you and not getting onto you/arguing? It sounds like you want to talk about it and that it's important that you are understood, but other people will of course have their own opinions. Do you trust other people? |
It's a few things, she's had the maximum sessions her veins can tolerate and her epilepsy meds have been increased. N feels ok about it. Mum got her an alpha stim machine which is meant to be really effective. It sends waves into the brain.
To be honest I don't trust people. My parents are happily overweight themselves so what do they know? My sister is very underweight and has terrible body image. |
I hope everything goes ok for your sister, I know it must be hard not to worry. Do you talk through your worries with your sister or anyone else?
Are there people out with your family who you would feel ok talking about body issues with? |
I feel... I don't know how I feel. Not anxious or depressed. Vulnerable and guilty? I don't want to SH because it wont help and I will feel guilty and I wont be able to keep it secret. I've tried eating less today and physically I feel weak and tired. I'm such a wuss!
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I'm really tempted to purge. Please can you give me reasons not to?
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Because eating is hard and purging only means more eating that needs to be done to compensate.
Because it's so incredibly bad for your body. Because it can be addictive and ain't nobody got time for that. Because it hurts. Because you deserve for your life to be more than a vomity mess. |
Thank you. I will copy those out for future reference. I didn't make myself sick.
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This morning I walked to Mass by myself. My head went mental telling me to jump. I got it to ease off by pointing out to them that I would probably just end up disabled. The longer the voices talked, the more sensible it seemed.
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Yesterday has unnerved me. Part of me wants to try something but I would feel so guilty if I failed. I am doing so well, where are these thoughts coming from?
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You are doing so well, unfortunately thoughts etc can come up at any time but you are doing amazingly with fighting them and I think that is the main thing to focus on. Please keep fighting and hopefully things will settle down again soon.
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Thanks osc.
I think I'm going to stay away from other people's support threads for a few days, they are too often triggering. Please don't hate me! |
That sounds like a good idea and I don't think anyone would hate you for doing that. It's not nice to be triggered and of course you should try and avoid it as much as possible. It's more than ok to do what is right for you.
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I had a load of dreams about escaping from hospital. I'm not even in hospital! Now I feel all uneasy.
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I can relate to that, I have hospital dreams most nights and it's really awful. I hope you can settle and remind yourself it was just a dream. Will you be doing anything nice today?
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I'm going to go for a walk with my sister and a friend is coming for coffee later. I went to church this morning.
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That sounds good. How are you feeling now?
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A bit anxious, as normal. But my SH thoughts have gone from this morning. My friend came round for a quick coffee which normally stresses me out but it was ok today.
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It's a shame that you feel anxious a lot, are there no techniques that help reduce the intensity for you? Have you ever had any therapy specifically to tackle your anxiety?
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I never had therapy specifically for the anxiety. My CPN says it's a symptom of my schizophrenia. I got myself a book of coping with and decreasing anxiety and some of it is helpful. It controls the anxiety but doesn't decrease or get rid of it. Lorazepam helps but I try not to use it too often.
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Sometimes a bit of control is all we can have over some things, but you can increase that control I'm sure with practice. It's good that you're being proactive.
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