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Smiling takes a lot of effort sometimes...i find it worse if you forget and people ask what wrong...Have to remember the face and try to put it on and then think of somthing to cover yourself.
*sits down with a pot of tea* |
*curls up into a tiny space*
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*walks in with teddy and blanket and wants to hide from everyone*
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*feels so alone*
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I am angry at myself. Want to make a mess of myself in a couple of places. I won't though. I don't want to have to explain it to the people at the aa meetings I'll go to tonight and tomorrow morning.
Please, when willbeing needy, needing people become not a character defect. Or will I always be reaching for more, afraid that I will never have enough? *cuddles Helen* *cuddles Becca* |
*snuggles helen, becca, and susan*
lalala i should so be packing :P |
I need to go pack also. I've not been sure about packing shorts vs jeans and if I want to take any long sleeve shirts or just rely on my comfortable old green sun shirt.
Now that I have my 14 year chip, my birthday feels real. |
I hate eating breakfast, I feel so fat.
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*comes in from a week and a day outside in the smoking shelter*
Damn it.....I need a fag! *goes back out to smoking shelter* |
*sobs, feels so alone & like shes lost the plot*
*hides under the floorboards* |
*Pulls up floorboards and sits to listen*
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Sends a kiss down into the floorboards, shares around raspberry diet rite, and asks leading questions.
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OBJECTION!!!
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Objection to what? I'm not sposed to listen and try to help? Leading questions just means litening to what someone says and asking them things that will maybe open up. I"m just trying to be helpful.
I don't have a cupboard of my own. *takes more diet rite and hides in Bro's cupboard.* I don't care if it does smell like fat sad old man. Now it is going to smell like that and diet rite and green apple hair conditioner and fat old woman. Oh yeah, i added something to my sobriety birthday thread. Please, read, humor this fat old woman? |
Sorry I had a game geek moment. In phoenix wright you have to shout objection when there is a contradiction in facts. Also leading questions are banned in court so i kind of merged the real and game world.
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hi all sorry i have not been about, have been in the hospital wing with a broken wrist and ankle
hope everyone is ok as they can be can i cuddle someone, i am feeling sorry for myself :( |
Susan, leading questions are when you phrase something in a way that will get you the anwer you want. You mean open questions. Questions that can't be answered by one word. *hugs* you're NOT fat, smelly or old. ANd I will NOT let you call yourself that. *hugs you tight*
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Per doctors orders, I will be offline for a while. (It was either promise to do certain list of things, or be admitted again, I opted for the list) The doctor thinks that I spend so much time on the computer and miss out on real human interaction. Dunno that I agree with him, but I need to try anything and everything to get the other thought out of my head.
Susan, I agree with alive, no more of those comments. I have unlocked the door to my hidey hole, you are welcome anytime. You will notice that I have built a few chairs to make it more comfortable, invite some people in with you. (description) Hidey hole is now appointed with some beatiful handmade oak furniture. The window pane chairs are sturdy but comfortable, there is a lovely side table with a drawer that is filled with hugs, sparklies, one or two glomps and some snuggles. You will find assorted games on the shelf below. The walls are painted a lovely color called "Sauteed mushroom" with a nice white trim all around. There is a fully stocked magical refrigerator, if you want/need something, it is always available. The air purifier hanging in the ceiling is also magical and removes any smells/perfumes/odors that might be offensive. Lastly, the panel door that I built has had a magic spell put on it to keep it from locking, so you can come in anytime, but cannot shut out the rest of the world. Susan, please share the space with any and all that wish to join you, play a game, read a book, sit and relax. |
Yay Jeff! Hope you are doing better.
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Hiya Bro, Wishing you health. I want your hidey to smell like you, it is comforting.
I entered middle age on September 4, 2002, 5:45pm; that is when I fell and sprained my ankle so bad that it broke. I had arthritis in that bone less than two years later. Losing my ability to do the things I love to do with confidence about my footing makes me feel old. *grabs a breakfast diet pepsi. Wraps self in a hug from my beloved brother, a magic one that will never leave. Curls up in a shadowed corner of the cubby* |
Hiya everyone. Today I made it to 5 days SI free. Two more days and I have a week. Thanks to everyone who has offerred support and hugs. I'm now at a place that not that long ago I thought I'd never reach. My two best friends IRL are also pulling for me here... they are the only two IRL who realise just how hard I'm fighting.
*offers hugs to anyone who needs them* Hopefully by the time my 1 month free bracelet arrives I'll be well on my way to that goal. I seriously need a smoke ..... *walks out to the smoking shelter for a quick fag... or 6* |
Went to see my pregnant auntie today but ended up falling asleep on her sofa. I hate depression.
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*wraps himself in a straight jacket and hangs from the cealing by his feet*
Today i am seriosly considering quitting my job. |
*gets down and hides*
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*hides with 1ofmany*
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*leaves treats for all*
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*Wanders in with a weird look in his eye* i cant take it *cries*
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*offers hugs*
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*takes up the hug offer* any one need a drink i have coffee tea and some sqaush and i think i have some coke and some sprite somewhere lol and i am sure i could find anything else you fancy
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Im in, im starting to freak myself out
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WHY FFS IS IT THAT PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL ME THEY LOVE ME WHEN THEY ARE ABANDONING ME?
WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY JOB TO TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE BUT NEVER BE TAKEN CARE OF? Bro, thanks, but I don't want to share space. What you've created is way too nice for lard ass river trash like me. I wanted to crawl in because it was dark and quiet. Besides, games make me want to lose my lunch. *finds a trapdoor into the basement. Makes magical rug that will hide the door once i'm in.* *screams until sick* *cries until exhausted* I felt so awful today that I 1. removed the orange ribbons from the antenna of the suv 2. broke the elastic holding my bracelet together. I think most of the beads landed in the med case but i'm not sure. The ONLY thing that kept me from turning myself into ground round today was the implicit promise I made to my friend in the meeting on Thursday night. *resumes screaming* |
Have hugs if you want them Susan...
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*thinks* i really need to be up tommorow... *builds a sleepy place in a corner... picks up a teddy of an owl (bobble) and falls asleep crying*
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*continues to scream and sob.*
damn it, damn me for caring so much and damn me for being so needy |
Susan. STOP IT! You are not a fat lard ass anything! I'm sorry you're hurt so much! I wish I knew what had hapened, but you're wonderful!!!!! I don't want you to hurt yourself. I don't think you need to. You got through so far, you can KEEP getting through.
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i don't know if i can last till wednesday.
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yes you CAN sweetheart!!!! Yes you CAN!!!!!
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Can I come and admit myself? I need to be in a safe place, everything was going fine and now I don't feel safe =(
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Hello all. Today I made it to 6 whole SI free days. I had to stop one of my best friends in the world from killing himself, and tell my other best friend to admit that she had done something dangerous so we could take her to the hospital. She's going to be in there for tonight at least. I feel like crap. I feel like it's my fault that these guys are going through hell. I feel like the only way it can ever get better for them is for me to disappear completely. Maybe I should.
I'm going to go and hide in the smoking shelter and cry until I run out of tears. |
See my new post in my sober 14 years thread.
For some reason, after crying a good deal of the day yesterday and being 2.5 hours short on sleep, my eyes are burning. Please pass me a 2 liter bottle of diet pepsi, and some caffeine gum? *schemes* *cuddles everyone, curls up into their hugs and cuddles* |
*cuddles everyone*
Sorry, i haven't been around..just god damn busy with lots of uni work ugh... Take care everyone.....xxx |
*leaves hugs for whoever would like them, goes and sits in the corner of the smoking shelter crying and nursing her arm*
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*cuddles everyone*
Kahila, keep going sweet you're almost a week free =D You've done so well under the circumstances xx |
*passes diet pepsi and caffeine gum*
*also passes very nice eye drops for sore eyes* *is terribly confused* i love you Susan!!!!! love to all. xxxxxxxxxx |
I would gladly hand over everything to just stop feeling.
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Susan, are you feeling any better now? *Offers hugs*
I start my third year of college tomorrow. Bit nervous, I'm gonna be in two classes with 16 year olds even though I'm almost 19 (because I'm taking two first year subjects to get more UCAS points). I'm gonna feel like I have to do well because I can't fail and see someone three years younger than me do well! Oh well, gives me an incentive to work hard I guess. Ran out of Mirtazapine two days ago and forgot to go to the doctors to get a repeat prescription. On Friday night I was drinking so I fell asleep quite easily, but last night I had trouble sleeping without it. I don't think I'll sleep well tonight either. Stupid doctor refuses to prescribe me more than a week's worth of meds because he thinks it'll be dangerous. Okay, I'm done rambling. How's everyone else doing? xxx |
*builds a wall around himself*
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I don't want to be let out untill september is over. I don't want to feel. I want to know the truth. I wish I didn't feel like this.
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What truth is it that you want to know M?
Sorry fellow vets, i'm sad and lost as anything and I react with anger, brace yourselves. shakes a diet rite then throws it at a wall the color of sauteed mushrooms. I hate mushrooms and don't like brown unless it is rock or soil. Paint? gag I hate being abandoned. And so I'm left with a nice place to scream in? **** that! *returns to her basement and resumes screaming and crying* |
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Susan, just wanted to give you some hugs *snuggles* |
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