Just want messages of support really
 

Its been a long time since I was last active on here. But tonight I'm feeling pretty low and don't really have anyone to turn to.

I think iv pushed myself to far, i'm not sure I just feel pretty shit.

Hi B ♡

What's going on for you right now? In what way do you feel like you've pushed yourself too far?

You can grab hold of me here, or on Facebook, whenever you need to.
X

Hey B.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low tonight. Do you know what's triggered it off at all? In what way do you feel you've pushed yourself too far?

Would distracting yourself help at all?

Sending a hug!

Take care.

Lucy x

I think I'v pushed myself to far with uni and pushing myself to try get good grades and having to get up at like half five to get there so always feeling sleep deprived.

I lost my support worker this week that was the only support I get.

and i have a hospital appointment next week were i find out if i need investigative surgery for them to take a biopsy, im trying to pretend to everyone im fine and okay and not worried but im in physical pain and stressed and i dont know.

Is there any way you can book yourself in some time off, B? Like, make sure that you have a week off over Christmas too sleep and relax and do things for you? And getting into the habit of maybe having one morning a week for you to sleep in? Or if mornings are booked up, then maybe one afternoon or evening a week where you make plans to treat yourself? Self care is really, really important and just as vital as your (quite clearly very impressive!) motivation for your academic success. There's only so long you can burn yourself out for until you don't have anything left to give. You deserve that self care.

Are there any plans to get you a new support worker? The loss of that relationship must be difficult, did you have a good relationship with them?

Good luck for your appointment. How do you feel about potentially having surgery? I know that being in pain can be so tough, it's physically and emotionally draining. Are you getting support from your GP and appropriate pain management?

Big hugs. I'm so sorry you are so low xx

Always here if you need me, lovely. Te amo ❤️

Thank you xxpoppyxx, Te amo xxx

I actually got today and tonight off I wasn't suppose to but something came up and plans got cancelled and i'v spent the day in pjs watching Netflix. Its helped a bit.

I got told to go to my GP and ask for a new referral. My uni have said I can have counselling though the uni to.

I'm nervous but trying not to worry to much. They took me of what was managing the pain because they think i need the surgery. Its all a bit of a mess. Iv been taken codeine which helps a bit though.

Having another bad night

Hey B!(can I use your name on here, or do you prefer B?)

Do you want to talk about what's going on tonight?

Thinking of you. x

Lucy x

Hey Lucy,

I have no idea to be honest i'v spent all term looking forward to the holidays because I was stressed out but now there here the loss of routine is making me feel terrible.

Hugs how are you doing today? X

I'm doing better today

That's brilliant to hear.
Is there anything in particular that has made you feel a bit brighter?
Perhaps you can remember it for next time you're struggling xx

Just feeling less alone I think, I saw my best friends saturday and sunday and some friends today and I think the social contact has helped. Its also helped me deal with the lack of routine.

That's really good. I'm glad you've had company and that helped x

Went to hospital today. The lesions have spread by the sound of it. There increasing how often I have my injection and il go back in 8 weeks. If that doesnt work could mean surgery. If the inection does work she thinks I might be able to get it to take home to give myself.

Apparenty that wierd pain iv been feeling in my side has been where its spread to.

I feel abit I don't know. Im in pain

Im honestly fucking fed up with life. I really am

Hey B x

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Not sure what to say in regard to your physical health, except that I really hope the injections start working now they've increased the dosage.

From what you've been saying, it sounds like the change in routine is affecting you. Could you maybe, when you're feeling a bit better, plan a routine for yourself for the Christmas break, just so things are more structured?

Do you want to talk about what's made you feel upset tonight(I mean is it just your physical health, or more like a combination of factors)?

Lucy x

My blade is missing!! my parents must of found it and threw it out. They think i havnt self hamed for 6 years. Oh jesus :(