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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

katnovia 19-05-2010 01:25 PM

*pokes a note up through the soil* wrote a thread: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...30#post2304930 contains adult and triggers. don't want to talk. just want to hide.

Doikers 19-05-2010 01:30 PM

*Giant HUGS April* Things aren't oddly different over hehe they're oddly different over there Heh:) I Hate making official phone calls to but look at it this way , it'll take 5 minutes and then you know how long their waiting lists are and you can make a more informed decision . Make Sense , my mind is so not helping me today , SO Confused , Freaked out by this power company **** and I am making so many typos I'm having to re-type almost every 3-4th word grrr.

I Hope your dentist appointment goes well and the more experianced dentist get the job done without pain :)

*Hugs Julie* Perhaps you should consider getting some sleep ? are you tired?

Doikers 19-05-2010 01:37 PM

*Hugs Kat* I read your post Kat , I'm sorry you are having such an ordeal , I don't know what to say to help , sorry , I wish I could magic it all better for you

katnovia 19-05-2010 01:39 PM

*crawls out of hole* im trapped *cries* i need help but i cant get it *sobs*

taz35 19-05-2010 01:45 PM

*runs out from her corner, gives BIG hugs to everybody, then goes back into hiding*

Doikers 19-05-2010 01:47 PM

I've gotta go out or I'll harm again , :( I've jsut gotta make sure I'm back for my SW appointment at 3.30pm should be easy ,

*Huggles Kat*
*Hugs Taz*

katnovia 19-05-2010 01:48 PM

nspcc advert got me. *heart lurches* why when I do feel, does it have to be so strong and overwhelming?

katnovia 19-05-2010 01:49 PM

*huggles mark* take care of yourself
*sniffles* I need to take care of babbit
I'll be back later.

taz35 19-05-2010 01:58 PM

*hugs Mark* Please don't SI <3 Go out and distract yourself. You can fight it.
*hugs Kat* Sometimes it's easy to wish we didn't feel anything. Hang in there :( <333

katnovia 19-05-2010 02:07 PM

I never do feel anything. When i eventually do, it generally hurts like hell, or makes me very angry. I'm so tired and confused. But i have to get on and do the domestic shop now. have to keep my manic spending urges under control though.

Scarletdreamer 19-05-2010 03:00 PM

*peeks in*

updated r/v....

*hides in hole again* :(

Doikers 19-05-2010 03:10 PM

*SUPERHUG for April*

Grr My SW called a half hour before our appoinment, changed it to 24hours later said I sounded chilled ( Anything but ) commented that I had music on and left me all psyched up for our meeting with no meeting to be psyched up for at least today .Grr

PoisonedApple 19-05-2010 05:46 PM

*huggles all*
*gathers hugs from the people that left some on the ward table*
*sits in the corner and blends in with the wall*

Doikers 19-05-2010 05:58 PM

*Spots Crimson blending into the wall and Huggles her*

How are things going for you Crimson?

MammaMia 19-05-2010 06:00 PM

*sneaks in, cuddles everyone who wants hugs and curls up*

Doikers 19-05-2010 06:18 PM

*Huggles Helen*

MammaMia 19-05-2010 06:20 PM

*hugs Mark* Sorry to hear about another bill :( They're really ****ing taking their time to fix their mistake :/

PoisonedApple 19-05-2010 06:20 PM

*shrugs* I dunno, Mark. So far today I've manage to not have a total break down. Though I've also been pretending G is out of my house. Kinda the see no evil concept... I can't see or hear her... so far it's worked. I didn't even speak to her when cleaning up the bathroom this morning. As I was leaving it I simply kicked her dirty clothes out of the bathroom into the hall and kept walking. (Told her repeatedly for weeks on end to keep her dirty laundry somewhere other than a heap taking up half of my bathroom floor) I'm exhausted but it's probably because I cried myself to sleep and it took me forever to fall asleep... dunno how I feel about that either. First time I've cried (actually cried not that 1-2 tears total crap) in forever... and D doesn't see that he tells me not to let people walk all over me but then basically just put up n shut up if its his family. Says he never said that. He didn't in those words I'll give him that, but even when C and I fought a while back cuz I was talking to V about a situation they were both involved in and she thought I was just talking **** about her, after she spazzed what did D say? You shouldn't have even been talking to V about the situation. V had apologized not understanding what had upset me so I'd been telling her it wasn't about what she thought and telling her what it was. He's like that with all 4 of his sisters and his mother. But back to last night/ this morning... After I told him he didn't get it and I'm tired of the put up n shut up crap and it's not just with G, he said his usual (this martyrdom crap I know he gets from his mother and if I could I would get rid of it but I can't) "Well what do you want me to do? Kick everyone out?" As if everyone is the current problem. With M and V I can tell them when they **** up and they listen. As long as it's not in front of D I don't get a lecture, look or sigh and attitude. On the upside D asked V while I was at work about what G said about doing this **** to me on purpose and at least now he believes me on that (though when told he knew she lied to him about saying it anyway).
The following content has been hidden - Reason : poss trigger
Had a hard time walking away from the bathroom last night without SI or Sui. And right now I think I feel empty. Like I took all of me that matters and could be hurt and hid it away somewhere outside of me. But I've gone through a few emotional states this morning.


*sigh* It feels like all I do in here anymore is whine and complain. I'm sorry guys.

MammaMia 19-05-2010 06:29 PM

You're not whining or complaining you're just talking about what's going on for you sweetheart. *big massive cuddles*

Doikers 19-05-2010 06:38 PM

*Hugs Crimson*
You're not whineing and it seems to me that you have valid cause to complain , and this is why the ward exists , for wardies to listen to other wardies and help if possible and to empathise and show some understanding . It's good for you to get these things out rather than bottle them up inside and I know I'm bad at advice but I'm always willing to listen ,anytime :)

"They're really ****ing taking their time to fix their mistake "

Yes Helen ,It's just infuriating , and it triggers me , who woulden't be freaked out to get a letter saying that if they don't pay an unbeleiveable ammount of money that you don't even owe them the they'll get a debt collection agency to collet it . Sorry , I'm sure you are all sick of me complaining about these bills , I'll sick of getting them . I have scars that are never going way as a result of their constant harrassment , do yuo think harrassment is too strong a word ?

*Hugs Helen*

MammaMia 19-05-2010 06:41 PM

Harassment is probably the right word :) I'm not surprised it's affecting you so much emotionally. Anyone would find it hard to cope with, I know my sister did when she had a similar situation to you. No, we're not sick of you talking about it, we just wish they'd stop ****ing round & fix their mistake. Hopefully they won't send them round. I've been threatened with them before a couple of times over a mobile phone bill & stuff, it's pretty **** :( *hugs tight*

Doikers 19-05-2010 06:47 PM

Thanks for the hugs Helen , My sister and brother in law and baby neice are coming over for lunch tommorow , my brother in law want's to use my P.C. as the laptops atmy parents house don't work with this program thats a training program for an exam he is taking this weekend coming so I'll let him use it for a couple of hours while a play with my neice , she's about 19 - 20 weeks old , really very cute ,I just have to focus on getting though tonight with no further S.I. today . I have eaten a HUGE ammount of food but thats what I do when I'm stressed , eat and cut , today both :( *hugs ya back*

MammaMia 19-05-2010 06:51 PM

You're welcome :) Tomorrow sounds like a nice wonderful distraction for you. Bet your niece is a real cutie!! Most babies are :D Try not to cut anymore sweetheart, but I know how hard it is.

Forgot to mention I gave myself a blister today, NOT impressed >.> My foot was just getting all nicely healed, as been having problems with shoes rubbing it etc. Really hurts >.> But it was a good afternoon with my friend ^_^ Having another video call with my best friend tonight, yay. Am getting worried (well MORE worried) about my other best friend. She's not texted for hours, her daughter's been really unwell, hope it's just that & not because she had to take to her hospital in the end. Hmm!! Probably worrying unnecessarily.

Doikers 19-05-2010 07:00 PM

A child being unwell can take up a lot of time and attention Helen , I wouldn't worry too much about that friend not texting you she is probably all caught up with looking after her daughter :) and have a good time on your video call tonight too. Hmmm sorry to hear about your blister :( I don't know what to recommend , just to put a big plaster over it to protect it from dirt and stuff and wait for it to heal up :s

Doikers 19-05-2010 07:01 PM

Oh just so you know I'm going to play WoW for a bit so sorry if I don't reply to your posts very fast :) It's a good distraction sometimes.

MammaMia 19-05-2010 07:06 PM

Yes, you're quite right. I'm sure she is just caught up in looking after her & stuff. I've got a big plaster over my blister, just hope it helps it. Already dreading taking it off. Haha, I hate plasters with a passion, well the taking it off bit. >.> Ugh, even more so after last summer when I had a huge dressing (for a smallish cut LOL, don't ask me why, nurse thought it was best?) and that made me sick nearly. I also remember when I was a little girl & my parents bribed me with sweets in the actual bath so they could rip it off. Ugh. I'm just a wimp LOL!! So yeah, always been scared having them taken off. LOL, even though I know the pain won't last forever. On another occasion, well after that one, I think it was, I fell over & hurt my knee which needed a plaster, but instead I refused & it got stuck to the cut. That was SO horrible, it made my Mum cry (aswell) in the car and everything when I was trying to get my tights off the cut =( Wish the nurse forced a plaster on me, but never mind. Okay, random & probably triggering, sorry :(

Enjoy playing WoW, maybe I should join in the craze :P

risenfromperdition 19-05-2010 07:13 PM

*waves to everyone*

taz35 19-05-2010 07:23 PM

*hugs Kat* hope you didn't spend too much :)
*hugs Mark* I can see how the bills would be stressing you out a lot :( Here's hoping it works itself out soon for you!
*hugs April & Crimson & Heather*
*hugs Hels* Ick, blisters suck big time =/
*waves to Heather* How're you doing?

risenfromperdition 19-05-2010 07:36 PM

sleepy and lonely and fat and dont want lunch *sulks*

MammaMia 19-05-2010 07:46 PM

*waves to Heather & Taz* How you both doing there?

Doikers 19-05-2010 08:20 PM

*Hugs Taz and HorseridinBbe07*

Grr I HATE pulling off plasters too , maybee this is advice but I find Boots own brand plasters are a lot less sticky when it comes to taking them off than Elastoplast . Hmm , maybe you know of better ones yet !?

PoisonedApple 19-05-2010 08:27 PM

Moleskin is good for blisters.

MammaMia 19-05-2010 08:31 PM

I think I got boot's own one & a type for sensitive skin apparently :)

frenchhorn 19-05-2010 08:32 PM

*hugs mark* I'm sorry they are still messing you around with the bills, that really sucks, I hope they sort themselves out soon.
Yes plasters are horrible, I just go for it and pull them off.

*hugs Crimson, helen and Heather*

I shall do more individual replies later, going to a meeting taken by su president in a min about the new way the su will run, cos it is crap at the moment.
also stuff is happening in my life, scary stuff, there is the person in first year who has liked me for ages and started talking to me the other day and yeah not sure what is going on at the moment, but they keep saying they like me and what me to be there boyfriend, I'm just scared cos I don't like to let people in, so am majorly freaking out and also get freaked out cos I don't think people should like me or anything.

*hides in a corner until he has to go to the meeting*

taz35 19-05-2010 08:56 PM

*hugs Mark & Hels & Crimson*

I'm... alright. Lost in my own mind.

*hugs Heather* You should eat your lunch hun <3

*hugs Oliver* sounds like an odd situation to be in. Have you talked to this person about it?

I spy an April!

Louise 19-05-2010 08:58 PM

Hi everyone

Doikers 19-05-2010 09:05 PM

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry but I am NOT the right person to help with relationship advice of any kind , and I figured this out in my head as su meaning Student Union , is that right?

*Hugs Taz*

*Hugs Louise* Hi how are you tonight?

Having my not shaved as I don't want to be touching tools ( or potential tools) pickle right now , I can't grow a beard I'm too fair even at 29 , it just get wooly I guess I have always shaved , figured it out myself with one piece of advice from my Dad when I was about 25-26 that the shaving cream tube seems to cotradict hmmmmm

Louise 19-05-2010 09:08 PM

*hugs mark* I am not feeling that great, how are you?

katnovia 19-05-2010 09:25 PM

*crawls in and sinks into a pile of duvets in the corner* I hate domestic shopping, it always takes longer than I plan and then I get stuck with the parents toooo long into the evening.

I so want to reply. I want to. I can't. *sighs*

me want play

now why did i do that? why?

cos u r an evil ****ing bitch

shut up. shut up. shut up. I can't do this anymore. Why am I doing this? I dont get it! *shouts at self* GO AWAY! *cries*

katnovia 19-05-2010 09:29 PM

eek. I must be mad. I'm going mad. I dont know why I do this and I cant stop. I don't know if I just choose to do that. Why did I write that? why did I do that? I dont understand. I really dont understand. Oh **** I'm scared. I'm frightened. I'm sorry. I'm pathetic. I'm.. I don't know any more. it felt like I chose to do it, but I had no power in choosing, the option to NOT choose didn't seem to appear..does that make sense? no, nothing makes sense. Oh **** i'm so messed up. I can't think straight. I dont know what Im doing. I can't breathe.

Doikers 19-05-2010 09:30 PM

*hugs Louise * I'm ..... coping is the best word , keeping myself distracted .

*Hugs Kat tons*

Doikers 19-05-2010 09:33 PM

Kat , you're not mad , TRY and Breathe , deep breaths , breathe slowly ...

katnovia 19-05-2010 09:35 PM

i cant. i cant. im frightened.

Doikers 19-05-2010 09:40 PM

*Holds Kat if OK?* You'll get through this , you will.

katnovia 19-05-2010 09:49 PM

but to what end? where am I going? what is happening? *sinks into mark's cuddle*

nicole94 19-05-2010 09:50 PM

*hides*

katnovia 19-05-2010 09:51 PM

i want my daddy

katnovia 19-05-2010 09:55 PM

there i go again. why? i dont understand. idont want to do this any more. who am i? what's going on? I just want to know who i am!! whats wrong with the stupid head of mine? why cant i be normal? why? why. they'll take hazel i know it i know it. i dont want to lose her i couldnt i cant i cant stand it dont let them please. please not my hazel. not my litte girl. oh god if theye find out im like this then they wont let me keep her. how cna i carry on? how can i do it? what do i do? *panics*

Doikers 19-05-2010 09:59 PM

Kat , don't panic ok , I'm sure they woulden't take Hazel from you . You are going through a really tough time of it and I don't really pretend to know anything about DID , you , have a partner , Jack right ?could you talk to him ,make him see you are struggling so much , he may be able to help , I hope I got my information correct there .

Doikers 19-05-2010 10:00 PM

Whats up Nicole? you ok?

I'm just gonna get changed for bed I'll be back in one hot minute.


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